This person's friend who they stopped contact with is talking bad about them amongst their common friend circle.

Hello,

I've happy to hear that you've rekindled your friendship with Doop! That's great, and I am happy to hear that you have cleared the misunderstandings. I'm also happy to hear that you're life has been improving. You've been putting in the work, and it's starting to pay off! I'm sorry to hear how Goop has been acting though. It's no fun to find out someone is talking bad about you behind your back, but it's even worse to find out it's a friend. I think this just goes to show that it was a good idea to end that relationship.

Now, let's take a look at your issue. You say you're having trouble moving on because when you think about the good memories you are freshly hurt by how he's been talking about you recently. Let's look at it this way. You ended a friendship, which is already a painful and stressful thing to do, and so you are still in the process of healing from that loss. On top of that, you come to find out that the said ex-friend is talking bad about you to your other friends. That's another painful stressor. The issue here isn't that you're struggling to move on. The issue is that you're grieving process was interrupted by a personal slight. You weren't able to fully process the emotions you are feeling and grieve the loss of that friendship before you learned some pretty hurtful information. Unfortunately, the only thing you can really do in this situation is to try your best to brush it off. Don't let him scare you. Your friends are going to stick by you if they really know and care about you. They may have questions, sure, but if Goop tells them something negative about you, if they're good friends, they will hesitate to believe it and they'll tell you what's going on behind your back. Give your friends the chance to be your friends. Don't let hurt and stress cause you to underestimate or misunderstand them. And from how they've responded so far, I think you have nothing to worry about there.

As for how to move on, the best remedy for this sort of thing is time and space. Give yourself time to process the situation (both the friendship ending and Goop's behavior since), and give yourself space to acknowledge and feel the feelings you need to feel to get better. This can also mean giving yourself time and space away from Goop as best as you can since you know him in real life and he's not strictly an online friend. You won't feel better immediately. These things take a bit because, unfortunately, feelings are messy. But as long as you don't try to repress your feelings and ignore your emotional needs, you'll be fine. It may help to talk to another friend or family member about the situation. Venting is a great way to process emotions, but do ask that it's okay for you to vent before you do so. Writing is another good way to do it. Either way, or both, do your best to let yourself process.

I hope this helps, love. You're doing great!

Best,

The Advice Column Team