This person's friend got offended when they asked to delete a picture of this person the friend has.

Hello dear,

You have every right to ask that someone deletes an unflattering picture of yourself, especially in a situation like this where the picture isn't incriminating or anything that could cause suspicion. And you are absolutely allowed to dislike a picture of yourself without disliking yourself or your general appearance. So in this circumstance, no, you did not do anything wrong, and I personally agree that his reaction was immature. That makes me wonder why he got so defensive about it when you asked him to delete the photo. His reaction makes me think that either maybe he was wanting to send the photo in the group chat for laughs but feels he can't now because you told him specifically not to, or he's just mad because he genuinely wanted the picture for himself because he finds it funny, and now he has to delete it.

This is not meant to put words in your head! Given that I am neither Goop himself nor am I directly viewing the interaction, I cannot tell you definitively what his motivations behind his actions were. Rather, I state this as an external observer as a hypothesis. Don't put too much stock in it. Instead, focus on how you want to continue. Either way, his reaction was highly inappropriate and disproportional to the situation at hand. From your request, it sounds like you handled it very well, and I can't say that I would have done it much differently. You expressed your fear/apprehension (that he might send the picture to your friends), explained concisely that it's not a problem with him personally, but rather that there is the possibility of your fears being founded, and you stated clearly your expectations (for the picture to be deleted). All in all, you did well. My issue comes with his reaction to you. He is allowed to be disappointed that he has to delete a picture he is fond of, but that does not justify the anger and pettiness he's exhibited during this exchange. Typically, when a friend asks you to please delete a bad picture of them, your response is not "then delete every picture you have of me!". That is not a proportionate response. You are absolutely right; he acted childishly.

This situation is making me rethink our last response to you. There are still parts that I agree with (things like your attachment style and the benefits of counseling should you be able to access it), but I'm not so certain that keeping around Goop is doing you much good. While I still do not recommend ending the friendship immediately as these sorts of things take care and thought, nor am I outwardly suggesting that you do end it, I do think this is a good time to evaluate whether or not Goop is treating you how you want and need to be treated. I suggest taking some space from him for a little bit to think on your position, and how he's been making you feel. I do not ever condone skating over blatant disrespect, though I am a proponent of forgiveness and second chances where they are given.

You have put in a lot of work recently to strengthen your relationship, and I am very proud of how your communication skills have progressed! You're doing a great job, and I can't wait to see where else and how much you improve as time goes on. But in that personal growth, it doesn't sound like Goop is matching that energy. In fact, it sounds like you are starting to outgrow him. Take this as an opportunity to think about your own growth and needs. If you come to a point where you want to give him another chance, then I suggest having another conversation with him about how he treated you in this situation, how it made you feel, and your expectations for his behavior in the future. That can sound something like,

"So when I wanted you to delete that picture of me? When you got upset and told me to delete all the pictures I had of you, and made that comment about trust, it made me feel ______, and I don't appreciate you treating me like that. It came off as very disrespectful, and I don't understand why you got upset the way you did. In the future, I'd really appreciate it if you could just tell me what you're feeling and why instead of getting mad at me without explaining. Especially when I'm making a request of you that I don't think is uncommon or rude...etc.".

It doesn't have to be exactly like this. This is simply an example that you are welcome to use should you feel like it.

On the other hand, if during your introspective "space time" away from Goop you decide that you don't think you want to be friends with him anymore, then, by all means, do what you need to do. If someone is not adding anything positive to your life then there is no reason for them to be in it. People are meant to pour into each other, and if you think that he isn't doing that, then do what you need to do to continue on your track of growth.

I hope this helps, love! Again, you are doing wonderfully, and I'm excited to see where you go. Keep it up!

Best,

The Advice Column Team