This person wants to talk about an incident that happened five years ago.

Hello,

While we may tell ourselves that certain things aren't important or that you'll forget them eventually, as major or minute as the act or word may be, if it has affected you in any way since the event, it was likely more important than you're letting yourself believe. Your event, while it occurred when you were very young, obviously affected you considering it is something you still think and/or worry about. I am very proud of you for taking the courage to talk to us about it. Now, I encourage you to keep working through it further from here. Something like this would be good to talk about with someone, preferably an adult who can help steer and moderate the conversation. This could be a parent or guardian, a counselor, or a mentor if you have one. Any adult whom you trust and feel safe with, and will help you work through it.

Honey, it sounds like you have some guilt about the situation, and I want you to understand that it was not your fault. Saying you were uncomfortable and asking her to stop would have probably been a better choice than keeping quiet and going with it, but you were also a child who didn't really understand the situation. In the end, you learn from it and you move on at your own pace. You are not at fault for her actions, and you are not at fault for what happened. You were a child. You're still young, and I encourage you to try and work through this and your feelings on the situation now so that it doesn't keep affecting you the way it has been as you get older.

So to recap, I suggest you talk to someone about it. Talk to a parent, guidance counselor, therapist, or mentor. You need to talk about it so you can work through it completely. It will be hard, and it takes a lot of courage to speak up about things like this, but it is so important that you do. And once you make that leap of courage, it will get easier and easier after that to talk it through, and in the effort you take to talk about it you are processing, which is the goal!

I hope this helps, love. Feel free to message us again anytime.

Stay strong,

The Advice Column Team