This person is in love with someone they aren't sure they have a chance with.

Answered Submission

Hello,

I must admit, you are in a very tricky situation. I could say that anyone wants to be in a relationship with the person they’re in love with. The possibility that romantic feelings could get in the way of a good friendship is a big reason why people are afraid to confess their true feelings.

From the way you describe your situation, I could safely assume you haven’t confessed your feelings to her. I would like for you to start on that. People have said that you don’t stand a chance with her, but you’ll never know until you’ve confessed your feelings to her. Tell her the truth, and be completely honest about your feelings. Other people can't talk for her—she talks for herself.

You said you’re worried that you might ruin your friendship with her, but from your explanation, she sounds like she cares about you. I would not think she would want to break off your friendship over this. You’re her best friend as much as she’s your best friend.

Ask yourself this: if your other best friend, who you don’t like or love (in a romantic way), confessed their feelings for you, would you cut off the friendship because of it?

I know that it would not be a nice experience if she doesn’t return your feelings; it would hurt a lot, but I just want to let you know that, whatever happens after your confession, don’t give up. Life works in mysterious ways, and you may be hurt today and even tomorrow, but it will pass. Also, as cliché as it sounds, everything happens for a reason; most of the time, we don’t even see the reason until a long time has passed.

It would be best to, before you tell her about your feelings, have a serious talk with her. Tell her that you don’t want what you’re about to tell her to ruin what you and her already have. Tell her how much she means to you. Make sure she understands what you’re trying to say, because a key in having a good relationship is understanding each other completely. This can be done through good communication.

If she stays away from you after you tell her, you should give her a little space before approaching her again. After all, it’s not every day someone says that they’re in love with you. It could be a shock for her to hear it, and she needs time

At the end of the day, it is up to you whether you're going to tell her or not, but are you okay with not telling her? Would it bother you? Confessing is an unnerving thing to do, but by confessing your feelings, it would mean you have tried. It is better to live your life knowing that you have tried rather than living your life wondering what would have happened if you did give it a chance.

I really hope this helps, and I wish you the best of luck in finding your happiness.

With love,

The Advice Column Team