This person still loves their ex-boyfriend and wants to confess to him again.

Hello,

This certainly sounds like a difficult decision to make. Romantic pursuits in general are scary things, so I'm sure it is much scarier given your history with him. Now, given that he broke up with you back in October, I think it is important to think about the reasons why he ended your romantic relationship. You're still good friends so I'm sure he still cares about you, but he obviously had his reasons. If you know why, please take those into account when deciding to confess or not. For example, if it was out of hurt or something like that then maybe hold off on admitting the depth of your affections. And maybe he just realized he didn't love you like that, but he cared about you platonically. It is important to respect his feelings as well as your own.

I'd also suggest thinking on the reasons why you still love him the same way after so long of being broken up. It sounds to me that when he broke up with you, you likely didn't get any closure. You went from being in a relationship one day to being friends the next with little to no space in between. That can be very detrimental to a person's mental space. Having space and keeping some distance after a breakup, even if you break up on good terms, is an important step in the healing process because without it there is no closure, and you have no time to heal and process the situation and the change on you own. And if that's the case, then it would make sense why your feelings haven't seemed to dwindle much over the past several months since the breakup. You had no opportunity to handle things on your own because he was still an active person in your daily life. Of course, I could be wrong. I do suggest putting some thought into that though.

In the end, I am never one to recommend going back to an ex. The way I see it, what's in the past is in the past, and there's no point in redoing a relationship that ended poorly. That is my perspective though, based on my personal experiences and biases. Everyone has some feelings for their exes even after their relationship, it takes time to move on. If you really want to try pursuing him again, the only thing I ask is that you take some time to figure out why (not just because you still love him, think deeper!). And at the end of the day, if you're still deeply in love with him, then by all means, go for it. Tell him how you feel, but keep in mind that he has a right to his feelings and boundaries as well as you do.

I hope this helps, love. Happy Valentine's Day, and good luck!

Stay strong,

The Advice Column Team