《The Advice Column IV》794
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This person's two friends hate each other.
Hey!
This sounds like a very complicated and frustrating situation to be in, but you have to know that this is not your fault. And perhaps it’s not your friends’ fault either because sometimes you feel uncomfortable around someone or dislike someone, and these emotions are natural and can’t always be controlled. However, your actions can be controlled. I would suggest you explain to your friend 1 (the person who only has you as their best friend) that you need to spend time with friend 2 (the person you’re not able to hang out with).
Sure, your friend 1 can get very mad and may argue with you, but you should continuously explain to her that even if she dislikes friend 2, you’re still friends with both of them and can’t be biased towards one. You are allowed to have other friends. Ask if there’s any possibility where they both can be friends once again, and if she rejects the possibility, don’t try to force them to become friends.
In this situation, you can only try to be friends with them separately. Try to spend lunch with friend 1 and classes with friend 2. Go on a friendly date with friend 1 on the first weekend and the next weekend spend a day with friend 2. Things like that, divide your time between them. Try to explain the situation to friend 2 as well and ask her to understand. Both your friends need to be aware that even if they can’t stand each other, you’re friends with both of them and you have the right to spend your time with whoever you want without their guilt tripping. So, if you’re spending more time with friend 2 sometimes you don’t need to feel guilty towards friend 1. The same is true if you’re spending more time with friend 1.
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Neglecting one friend is bad and so is showing bias but if you can’t help the situation between them, you can only do your best to be a good friend.
You can’t govern someone else’s feelings and actions; you can only control your own actions. Have a good talk with both of them, and spend time with both and other friends too. Introduce more friends to both your friends and widen their social circle if you want to as well.
Thank you,
The Advice Column Team
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