This person's friends are having a disagreement and they want to save their friendship without taking sides.

Hello,

I'm sorry to hear how this situation is affecting you. It certainly sounds stressful for all of you, and I sincerely hope your friends work things out in some way. Unfortunately, as a bystander, there is not much you can do. This is an issue between Abby and Emma (and Scott as well), and it is up to them to handle it, especially since you don't want to pick sides.

Now, as for them taking their anger on or lashing out at you, there is something you can do about that. That is unacceptable behavior. You should not allow anyone, much less a friend, treat you poorly because they are angry or stressed about something that you have nothing to do with. I think it is important that you impart this on them as well. They have no right to take their anger out on you for their issues. It is not okay. I suggest talking to them one on one about how they've been treating you, and how it's making you feel. Let them know that you are not going to accept that behavior from them anymore. You love them, and you want to be there for them, but you will not be their emotional punching bag. Hopefully, that opens their eyes a bit to how they've been acting to everyone else as well. What they probably don't know yet is that while they are fighting with each other, they are pushing everyone else away from them. If they keep that up, they'll find themselves with no one but each other, and that is a lonely place to be when you're fighting with someone. I honestly don't think they know that they're hurting you or your friend group. Unfortunately, unless someone tells them, they probably won't see that until it's too late. While you can't solve their issues, you can help them to see what they're doing, and hopefully lessen the strain on the group if they're not taking their frustrations out on everyone. I suggest you have those conversations sooner rather than later, before things get more out of hand.

In the meantime, maybe you can encourage them to have it out with each other. Have a real conversation and get their feelings out in the air. Even then, it may not fix the group, but it would at least stop the fighting. In the end though, you don't have any control over what happens, and how or if they deal with this issue. The only thing you can do is love them, and encourage them, and part of loving them is holding them accountable for their actions. If they are mistreating you and your other friends, tell them. Hold them accountable.

I'm sorry I couldn't give you more concrete answers, love. I do hope this helps though. Feel free to message us again for more advice!

Stay strong,

The Advice Column Team