This person feels disconnected from themselves and their surroundings.

Hello,

From what you said, it sounds like what you're dealing with is dissociation. Dissociation is a break in how your mind handles information. You may feel disconnected from your thoughts, feelings, memories, and surroundings. It can affect your sense of identity and your perception of time. It's that feeling of floating outside your body. Like you're there, but not really there. Now, keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion. I am in no way qualified to properly diagnose an issue of this kind, so keep that in mind when reading, and don't take my word as gospel.

To proceed with my hypothesis, as well as a grain of salt on your part, here are some common ways to help work through an episode.

1) It's important to learn how to breathe. Often times, dissociation is often triggered by the fight-or-flight response. You need to counteract that by self-soothing. The most recommended technique is the "Box Breathing" method. Exhale hard for four seconds. Hold your breath, lungs empty, for four seconds. Breath in for four seconds, and hold air in your lungs for a count of four before exhaling and beginning the pattern once again. This technique has been shown to regulate and calm your autonomic nervous system (ANS) sends a signal to your body and brain that you're safe!

2) Next is grounding. This can help you check back in to reality, and this helps break through the fog. I've found personally, one of the best ways to ground myself is to walk barefoot and take note of the different textures and things I feel. If you can, go for a little walk through your yard or a nearby park. This isn't always a practical method though. Another other good method is scent grounding. Keep a bottle of essential oils or spices or something like that that's portable and strong smelling with you in your bag. When you find yourself in an episode, pull out your bottle and take a deep breath. Close your eyes and focus on the smell. After a few breaths, start to spread out. Acknowledge the rest of your surroundings piece by piece. Like you already do, find the smaller things, and spread further until you feel regrounded.

3) I highly suggest getting a journal specifically for your episodes. Keeping a journal can help you figure out what some of your triggers might be. Writing in your journal can also be a grounding tool if it works for you. When you have a dissociative episode, take some time to retrace your steps and look at the moments leading up to it. This can be crucial to better understanding how to manage dissociation. From there, write what you were doing before, and what you're feeling as you're going through it to the best of your abilities. Not only acknowledging, but physically documenting your feelings can help bring you out of the fog. After that, I suggest writing what you see as well because A) it can help your further reground, and B) sometimes the environment itself can be a trigger or it can add to one. It's a good way to identify why you're feeling the way you are.

It's also important to make sure you're getting enough sleep and exercise. While it may not be fun, regular exercise is necessary to keep you healthy and your body functioning properly. It can help, along with sufficient sleep, to reduce the chances of a dissociative episode, and will all around just make you feel better. I'm not saying you have to run a marathon or join a spin class, but try to incorporate it into your routine if you don't already. Sleep is just as important as well, if not even moreso. Make sure you are getting to bed at a decent time, and try to keep off your phone 30 minutes before you go to sleep.

Most of all, it is important to speak to a doctor about this if it continues on. There is only so much you can do on your own before you need someone to help you out. I hope this helps, love.

Stay strong,

The Advice Column Team

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