{Dream}

here's some advice

b-but I didn't ask for any

too bad you're getting it anyways since I'm alone with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me.

--

So what's for dinner?

"Regret."

--

... I could take you

In a fight right?

...

IN A FIGHT RIGHT!?

--

Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

...You're a psycho.

--

{George}

How long have you been standing there?

Don't try that. You know the concept of time confuses me.

--

Can you please keep it down? I'm trying to think

Don't worry. Trying anything for the first time is hard

--

Here is my wall of inspirational men.

Is that a picture of you?

I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

--

Ah yes, baguettes, the snakes of bread. We'll take two of your freshest yeasty eels, good sir.

What??

Ignore him.

--

{Sapnap}

How do you take your coffee?

As dark as my soul.

One vanilla latte with extra sugar and cream coming right up.

--

I need a moment with them.

of course. [they leave]

okay, listen here you little shit. i know you're not dead.

yeah, no shit.

--

Are you calling me a liar?

well, I ain't calling you a truther!

--

You're right.

That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

--

{Karl}

You can't keep making up words pretending you're from another country to avoid talking to people.

Well, it's worked so far so I think I can.

--

Do you have mirrors in your room?

yes, why?

so, you saw what you look like and you still didn't take off that sweater?

--

Z is just a sideways N

please stop

Zo

--

you need a hobby.

I have a hobby.

staring at Y/N is /not/ a hobby.

you're right. it's a job and I'm excelling at it.

--

{Wilbur}

[closes a cabinet]

[a crash is heard behind the cabinet door]

What was that?

The sound of someone else's problem.

--

I think we forgot something

if we forgot, it wasn't important

yeah, you're right

--

*texting* Hey, can you pick me up? I'm drunk.

Oh you don't have to anymore. I'm home now.

Yes, I'm aware of that after dropping you off at home.

--

You read my diary?

At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

--

{Fundy}

Babe, did you drink my drink?

is it all gone?

no...?

then no.

--

[In prison]

I think im breaking out

what? No way.

I know, usually my skin is like never this bad

--

you're so lazy!

what? lazy? I made you a whole-ass sandwich!

...

...peanut butter AND jelly.

--

We broke up literally a year ago. Can you please stop playing Chess with my dad on Messenger? It's disgusting

Just because I lost the queen doesn't mean I give up the king

--

{Techno}

: Where's Philza, Tommy, and Wilbur?

: They're playing hide and seek.

: Where?

: I don't think you get how this game works.

--

what are you doing?

: nothing... watching porn.

--

what are you implying about my baking skills?

that they're non-existent.

I didn't think it was possible to be as rude as you're being right now.

and I didn't think it was possible to barbecue brownies, so I guess we're all learning.

--

I'm not afraid of anything. i remain unfazed. fear me.

there's a spider on your arm.

WHAT?! WHERE?!?!?! GET IT OFF!!!!!

--

{Quackity}

wait here. don't move. I'll be right back.

*walks away*

...

yeah, no.

*walks away*

--

I rarely get mad. I'm a very calm person!

*accidentally spills water on him*

prepare to die, motherfucker.

--

just don't die, okay?

fuck you, you can't tell me what to do.

--

It's funny how well you and Alex get along. Didn't he hate you at first?

Alex hates everybody at first. It's his way of reaching out to people

--

{Schlatt}

so we're planning on campin-

camping? camping sucks.

and you can see the stars, which I hate

they're creepy.

--

ugh. there's always that weak bitch in the group who isn't down with murder.

*glares at Y/N*

well SORRY I HAVE MORALS-

--

I'm not needy.

Schlatt, you're the definition of "needy." Remember that one time you called me at three in the morning to make sure we were still friends?

--

* SAY YOU'RE SORRY

IM SORRY!

WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR???

IM SORRY FOR SAYING YOURE AGGRESSIVE!

--

{Punz}

do you take criticism on your ideas?

Sorry, I only take cash or check.

--

I'm... I'm at a lost for words

Despite being at a loss for words, he proceeds to yell at me for the next twenty minutes

--

*crying*

Punz, c'mon.

...

you're making my sandwich sad

*cries harder*

--

It's like my momma always told me, " Nothing is never not a scam."

That's a triple-negative nothing can never not be a scam!

And?

--

{Niki}

I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should've taken away.

Death isn't real, and I'm basically God.

--

Let's play 21 questions, Niki. You start.

Hmm... what's your favorite color, Y/N?

Triangle. My turn. Are you into girls, Niki?

--

I'm a lesbian.

oh. okay. cool.

*later on*

and she said she's a LESBIAN!?

yup.

and you KNEW?!

mhm.

--

Be gay!

Do crime!

*Fistbump*

--

{Tommy}

I hate the countryside. It's dirty, it's unhygienic... and what's that smell?!

That would be grass.

Disgusting.

--

What do you think I should say to Y/N, if I see them?

Well, it's best not to plan these things. Just say whatever comes to you in the moment.

They have eyes just like a salamander.

Don't say that.

--

*Accidentally hits Tommy in the face*

*Trying to decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*

ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

What's wrong with you?!

--

are you THAT stupid?

...sometimes

--

{Tubbo}

Be Careful.

Always Am.

Respectfully Disagree.

--

Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Which one? I can't do both.

--

Let me use your phone.

Why can't you use your phone?

I dropped it in a bowl of soup.

Who accidentally drops their phone in a bowl of soup?

It wasn't an accident, I wanted to see if it would float.

--

Am I going to far?

No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

--

{Ranboo}

Hey Noah?

Yeah?

What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

...What.

--

Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you're a coward.

I'm worried about you.

--

40% exhaustion, 50% sarcasm 20% don't care.

That's 110%.

20% Don't Care.

...

Should've seen that coming.

---

What are the pros and cons of dating you?

Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

--