There's no doubt that Aliyah is breathtakingly gorgeous. Makes me wonder what she sees in me.

I'm still this young girl who's depressed about everything, waiting for her own death not wanting to give life a chance.

It's not like life gave me that option

She knew about my illness, yet she acts like she's not phased by it. It amazes me and scares me at the same time.

I'm at a dangerous place right now. Cause everything she does makes me fall into her. And I don't want that. I don't know what I want anyone.

Aliyah makes everything feels good, feels worth doing.

I listened to her speak about her family. I was mesmerized by the way she spoke, her face, her lips. Her lips.

I let my eyes wonder to her lips as she spoke. She stopped speaking and I noticed her lips curved into a smile. I look up. She looked far away like she was thinking of something

"What about your parents" I asked.

She maintained the smile on her face

"Mom passed away when I was 12.." when I heard this my heart broke.

I grew up with both my mom and dad and I can't imagine going through everything right now without Mom.

"I'm sorry about your mom"

It's nothing" she smiled, staring back at me.

Looking at those green eyes made my heart melted. I noticed her gaze left mine and fell on my lips.

I became conscious on what was about to happen as I noticed her face getting close to mine.

I panicked

I still don't understand what I feel for Aliyah but I understand one thing clearly, I don't want to hurt her. If I let her into life for Good knows how long I'll live for, and then she looses me to this sickness, I know it would hurt like hell.

She have already lost someone in her life, I'm not about to add myself to the record. I can't do that to her

"No, I'm sorry I can't do this"

I pulled back.

I noticed a confused expression on Aliyah's face. It really hurts me to do this, but it's for the best, right?

I stood up

"This was a mistake I'm sorry"

The confused and hurt expression on Aliyah's face broke my heart

She stood up quickly

"Is it something I did? I'm so sorry I tried to kiss you" she said desperately

I shaked my head

"That's not it"

"Okay, then what is?" She asked reaching out to hold my hands but I pulled back

"We shouldn't be seeing each other anymore"

She looked shocked

"Where's this coming from. Please don't do this" she pleaded

I felt so terrible. I got caught up, I shouldn't have agreed to all these. My heart keeps aching. I can't tell whether it's from my unsteady heart condition or from what I'm feeling right now.

I shaked my head. I want to go home

I looked around. There's no way I can walk home from here. We're basically out of town. Aliyah remained quiet

"I'll drop you off, let's go" that was all she said as she walked towards her car. I followed her in silence. I didn't know what she was thinking, I felt so horrible. If I didn't do this, it would be worse later on.

We rode back in silence, you could literally break the silence.

When we got to my place she left the engine on. I didn't know what to say or do, so I got out shutting the door quickly.

She didn't spare me a glance. She rode off immediately.

I know I somewhat hurt her but I want to convince myself it's for the best. If I didn't do this now it might be worse later.

I'm just the same dying girl, that push people away

Thanks for reading guys♥️♥️