"Ms Davis like I said, your daughters heart rate is stable at the moment, so there's no cause for alarm. She just need to take her meds at the proper time and focus more on...."

I let the words float into space as I zoned off. Not giving a care in the world to what the doctor was saying.

I was going to die, Yes I know this. But what I didn't understand was why my parents keep dragging me to these check ups and meetings every week.

I was born with a weak heart. The doctors said I wasn't going to make it past that age of two. But I kept on living, struggling to live rather.

The doctors said to keep an eye on me for strange occurances. So I've been on strict surveillance from my parents

I knew I was going to die even though they keep telling me it's nothing too serious.

Two months back it became really difficult to breath and do regular activities. And we were told I had an advance heart disease and I only had six months left. Well technically four month now, but who's counting.

I've lost all interest in anything lively cause I wasn't full of it so why bother. All I want is some good music and sleep

"Ava, Ava..Ava!"

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my mother calling me.

I looked at her blankly.

"Darling, did you hear what the doctor said" she continued cheerfully

"You're healthy enough for the travel"

Dad had gotten a promotion in another state and that meant we were moving. New house, new school, new nosy neighbors, new environment, new bullshit.

I don't understand the happiness one can get from realising that I won't pass out on the road. So I responded the only way i know how....

"I am going to die Mom" I said blankly

"Whether it happens now or tomorrow, doesn't make a difference"

"Don't say that" my mom burst out crying, walking out of the Doctor's office.

What is her deal?

She's acting like she didnt know this since I was born.

"Don't speak like that to your mother" my Dad said upset

I resisted the urge to be a brat and roll my eyes

"Pardon my daughter" he turned to the doctor who just smiled like a clown.

"Ava let's get going"

Finally...

The smell of hospitals make me want to throw up.

We packed all that we needed and got ready to leave the next day.

I laid on my bed listening to let me down slowly by Alec Benjamin

Death just come already' I whispered

"What are you thinking of freak"

My older brother Ben said standing by my door.

I paid no mind to him. He has always been that way to me and frankly I don't give two shits cause I'm a freak of nature.

He threw his ball at me which I dodged immediately.

"What do you want asshole" I said calmly

He scuffed

"You always act like you never get mad, like what I do doesn't provoke you"

I stared at him blankly before laying back on my bed listening to music. I don't know when but I guess he got bored glaring at me and left.

Lost boy by Ruth B came up and I drifted to sleep