Just their chapter

I feel so nervous.

All my thoughts just desapeared. I don't know what to say.

He must be mad at me for leaving him.

And now he will hate me for being different.

I'm so scared.

-

I drive to his house and wait for him to answer the door.

He opens them and looks at me shocked.

"Asa." He breaths out relieved. "Oh my god." He hugs me right, "why didn't you call me?

I was so worried?

Dion said there was some verbal fight. And then some talking.

Why didn't you tell me about it?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to say.

Really.

You have to believe me. I still ... Don't know how I'm going to tell you."

"Come inside."

He lets me in.

"What could be so horrible I have to he worried?" He takes my coat and puts it on the hanger.

"Do you have a secret husband?"

He takes my hand and guides me to the kitchen. "Kids?

Are your parents religious and homophobic?

What is it? Are you transgender? I mean , i know what you have in your pants but ... If you used to be a woman, I don't mind. "

"Nothing like that."

"Did you get someone pregnant? Kill? Do you have a debt? I have money?"

"No. It's not "

"If it's not anything of this sort that I can't be mad at you.

And I won't.

Unless ...you wan to tell me you don't like me anymore."

He looks at me sad. "i would be sad but ... Not mad. It's okay.

It happens sometimes. We are adults.

We could still be friends."

"I don't want to break up " i shake my head.

He smiles. "Then what? I literally ran out of possibilities.

What could it be so horrible?

You really think I will not accept it?"

"I ... I think I'm asexual." I bite my lip.

He parts his lips then smiles.

"Is that the big secret?"

"Yeah." I whispers.

"Okay." He smiles and hugs me , "if you explain me what it means in your case, I'll tell you what I think.

But I doubt I will mind."

"Hm." I nod.

--

"So. I think you handsome.

And I love your personality and everything.

You are great.

But I just ... I guess some people might look at you and imagine you naked.

Having sex.

I don't. I don't care.

Your body looks good. You exercise but ... I don't want it."

"Oh? Okay.

But ... You like me? You like being with me?"

"Yes."

"But not sexually."

"No, we can still have sex of you want.

It, the act feels good. I'm not numb down there. Like I feel it.

I just don't enjoy it. I mean ...no, I enjoy that it's YOU and YOU are with me ...but the sex, it's not really saying much.

But I know you like it. And I like that you like it so we should have it."

"But what will it give you?"

"I'm just happy you are happy.

And it-it feels nice.

You know some asexuals enjoy sex or have desires. It can happen , I will insist on having it.

It just hasn't happened now.

Are you mad?"

"Why? You didn't really tell me anything ...special."

"You like me. You want to be with me.

We can just have less sex.

Or you can tell me what to do or don't.

Is that what you are worried about?

That I'm obsessed with sex and need it?"

"I thought all people are."

"It's not the most important thing on my life.

I mean, sometimes your body wants it and needs it.

Well, mine does. But it isn't everyday. Not even every week.

It can be any number you say."

"Really?" I smile on him, "so, you don't think I'm horrible for not telling you?"

"And for how long do you know?"

"Not long. I'm not even sure."

"Hm. I can't be mad for how you are.

It's like being mad on a gay person for liking men.

It's stupid.

Sex is sex. It's not life. Life is being happy with the person that's important for you.

We will learn together.

Just please, don't sleep around anymore. Now that you know, it's not necessary."

"I thought I'm weird."

"You're not." He pats my hair, "did you tell Caspian?"

"Yes."

"And someone else?"

"Orson?"

"Is it a secret?"

"Do you think people need to know?"

He smiles and shakes his head. "I don't think it's their business.

No sexuality is people's business.

The only person who should know is ...well, your next partner if we ever break up.

But no one else should demand it."

"I don't want to break up."

"I don't want either. But maybe you'll find out that I want something ...too much.

It's okay."

"No. Everything with you was perfect. Even if you didn't know. "

"Great.

Please stay over. I've missed you so much ."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay but I want to be with you now.

I'll tell you about work and stuff ...oh, and pizza!"