Word Count: 3638

"So?" Callum asked as soon as Adam opened his door. They'd come over the second they realized he was back to the hotel.

Adam stared at him for a second, barely recognizing the man he'd considered his best friend for years. He opened the door wider and let Callum and Reese into his room, then went and sat at the small desk for a few seconds before turning to them.

"Did you really beat her?" Adam asked slowly, and the look on his friend's faces told him everything he needed to know.

"Adam..." Reese started. "We were just..."

"You were just what?" Adam demanded. "Hitting and hurting a girl for no fucking reason?"

"We didn't really hurt her, Adam." Callum tried to say. "It wasn't that bad; it was a few bumps here and there."

"A few bumps?" Adam said, clenching his jaw in anger. "Describe to me what a bump is. Is it the palm of your hand hitting her face? Is it you knocking her to the floor? Because, our definition of a bump seems to be different."

"Listen, we know we fucked up." Reese said, annoyed. "You know that, we've said it a million times, what is your problem right now?"

"My problem is you were beating my mate's best friend!" Adam shouted. "She said you enjoyed it! You got off on hurting her, you didn't just do it for Charla's benefit, you did it because you liked doing it! Harper thinks I'm like that! She thinks I'm an abuser who will hurt my mate!"

"We didn't know Harper was going to be my mate!" Reese shouted back, angrily. "We didn't know Celie would be your mate!"

"You think that makes this better? You think that makes it OK?" Adam yelled, then turned to Callum. "That was your fucking sister! Your little fucking baby sister! How could you enjoy abusing her?"

"Adam, you need to calm down." Callum said, pain in his eyes. "We know we fucked up. We know what we did was wrong. We know that! We've said it countless times in the last seven years, what do you want from us? Why are you so upset about it now?"

"I didn't know you were hitting her!" Adam gritted out. "I didn't know you were beating her and getting off on it. I thought you were just being mean and hateful, I thought you just insulted her and shoved her every once in a while. I didn't know you were abusing her, I never saw you hit her, I didn't know about that! I would have been pissed about that this whole fucking time. I would never have thought that was OK, not for one goddamn second!"

"We didn't enjoy it..." Reese said slowly.

"Then why did you do it when no one was around?" Adam asked tightly. "Why did you seek her out at home to hit her and hurt her? That wasn't to be popular or to impress Charla! You didn't brag about that; you didn't tell anyone! If it was to be popular you would have been telling everyone what you'd done! But you hid it because you knew it was wrong! Because you knew we wouldn't have thought it was cool or funny! So don't give me that bullshit!"

"I did tell people about it, I told Charla and Ben about it every day. I bragged to them, not to everyone else because, yes, I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway. But I didn't do it just for kicks, I was still working for her approval, I got off on Charla's bullshit. Yes, it was stupid. Yes, I was a cruel fucking idiot asshole, we know. But what's done is done, Adam." Reese snapped. "We can't change it, if we could have, we would have, long ago. We are here to make amends for it."

"How do you make amends for that, Reese?" Adam said. "How do you make amends for beating a child? I want to know. How can you possibly expect her to forgive and forget that?"

"That's what we're here to figure out." Callum said.

"Well, I don't think there's anything to figure out." Adam said. "She's not going to just let you back in, and you know what? I don't blame her. I wouldn't either. And if you're honest with yourself, you'll admit you wouldn't let that shit go, if someone did it to you or someone you loved. If you ever loved anyone, I'm starting to wonder if you're even capable of that."

"What?!" Callum said. "How can you say that?"

"Listen, I'm not in the mood for this shit." Adam snapped, at the end of this conversation. "So let me give you the update, since I know that's why you're here. I spent the day over there and didn't manage to get kicked out, I spoke to Harper a bit. I tried to get her to speak to you and give you a chance, and she told me what you did. Which pissed me off, if you want to know the truth."

"What did she say?" Callum asked.

"She said she didn't trust you or believe you'd changed." Adam said.

"But I have changed!" Callum exploded.

"She said abusers don't change, someone who likes hurting other people always likes it." Adam said. "She works with kids and charities for abuse victims and said she's doesn't believe people change, and she won't let either of you back into her life."

"But she's letting you in?" Reese asked annoyed.

"I never hit her! I was an asshole to her, but I didn't hurt or abuse her." Adam said flatly. "And I'm not trying to get into her life, I'm trying to get my mate back. I honestly don't give much of a shit about being in Harper's life, I care about Celie, and Celie loves Harper. I tried to talk to her on your behalf, I asked her to talk to you and give you a chance, and she told me the truth that you've been hiding for years."

"So, you two were, what? Just hanging out like old girlfriends?" Reese snapped.

"I was helping her get some shit on Matt's boat." Adam said, going with the excuse they came up with. "He was out, Celie was sleeping when I came over and Harper was loading a bunch of crap on his boat so I helped her, because I wanted to be there when Cel woke up. I figured it would give me a chance to get Harper on my side, so I tried hanging out with her a bit. She wasn't thrilled, but she needed help, so she let me stay."

"What were you loading on his boat?" Callum asked, trying to change the subject.

"Hell if I know, bunch of supply crates, a lot of diving equipment, and a shark cage, they're going out tomorrow." Adam told them. "Matt and Harper are diving and need Celie to stay on the boat and I said I'd go and stay with Celie while they're in the water. Seemed to make Harper feel better, I got the feeling she doesn't like leaving Celie by herself on the boat out in the open ocean."

"They have a shark cage?" Callum asked, shocked.

"Yeah, not sure what they are doing, if they just like it or if he helps research or something, who knows what all that guy does." Adam said.

"So, you're making progress?" Reese asked, his face softening. "You think Celie's going to give you a chance?"

"I don't know." Adam sighed. "I hope so, I pray the moon goddess she will. But I don't know. All I can do is keep trying. But I'm beat guys, I haven't slept since we got here, and I just want to go to bed."

Callum and Reese got up and went to the door, Callum hung back a second after Reese walked out, he opened his mouth as if to speak but nothing came out and after another second of standing there, he finally just turned and left without a word.

**

"Hey Cel." Harper said softly, handing Celie a cup of tea and sitting on the edge of the lounge chair with her. "How are you holding up?"

"Me?" Celie said with a small smile. "I'm more worried about you and Matt."

"Well." Harper sighed. "I'm worried about Matt too, but he's through the worst of it, almost completely healed. He'll be back on his feet tomorrow, just tired for a day or so and then it's like nothing ever happened. Thank goddess for super siren healing, or he would have died."

"That thought kills me." Celie shuddered.

"Yeah, me too." Harper said. "But while Matt being hurt by tritons sucks, it's not completely uncommon. But you on the other hand." Harper shook her finger at her. "Don't have your ex-mate show up on your doorstep every day. How are you doing? Really?"

Celie sighed, she stared out at the horizon for a few minutes before answering.

"I'm confused, Harper." Celie admitted. "I don't know what to feel right now. All these years I made him out to be some huge Reese level asshole in my mind, I started hating him for what he did to me. Now he's here, and he doesn't seem like the asshole I convinced myself he was. Do you think he's changed?"

"To be honest..." Harper started, then sighed. "I don't think he's the same. I wanted to hate him so bad, but he really seems like a good guy now. It's hard to reconcile him with all the shit we went through, I've tried to forget all that shit and just move on. But now I'm trying to remember, and I can tell you in all honesty, Adam and Zach weren't like the others. Ben, Callum, and Reese were the real abusers, it's more like Adam and Zach were just there when it was happening. All these years I just put them all in one basket, but now I don't know if they were."

"Me too, I'm going over everything in my brain and I can't remember Adam ever being mean to me. He would always look away or act like he had something to do and leave. Like he didn't want to do it, but wouldn't say anything to stop it either, he just stood there and let it happen." Celie said, a little bitterly. "He wants me to believe he always liked me, but he stood by while the others bullied me 24/7 and didn't say a word. And he had no problem with Reese and Callum hitting and hurting you, that tells you a lot about him as a person. Standing still and doing nothing about name-calling is one thing, turning your head when a girl is getting beaten is another."

"He didn't know." Harper told her. "He didn't know they were doing it. I didn't realize that, I thought everyone knew but now that I'm thinking about it, I'm starting to wonder. I know Charla knew, I know Reese and Callum bragged to her, Ben too, but they never did it in front of Adam, Zach, or Drew. Not that I can remember anyway. They only ever did it when just Charla around or if we were alone at home. It's possible Adam didn't know how bad it was, he seemed totally shocked when I told him today. Like he stood and stared at me with his mouth hanging open for 5 minutes and tried to argue with me that they did it. I could see him racking his brain to try to come up with an excuse or remember what was happening, but he came up with nothing. He was mad about it."

"What all did you guys talk about?" Celie asked hesitantly.

"Mostly we talked about sirens and tritons, I tried to stay away from personal issues as much as possible. That's between the two of you. We spoke about how Reese and Callum acted because he asked me to talk to Callum and listen to what he had to say. He said he knows with me and Mattie being together I'd never give Reese a shot, but he asked if I would talk to Callum, and tried using the 'he's your brother' card on me." Harper snorted. "That's when I went off on a mini rant about how he's no brother of mine, and how they treated me, and how they don't deserve another chance, blood relation or not."

"Good." Celie said, nodding firmly. "Those bastards don't deserve the time of day."

"We only talked a little about you, I don't want to be in there muddying the waters between you, I did have a few things to say that I got off my chest though." Harper smiled a little. "Not too bad, I didn't punch him or anything."

"Wow." Celie gave an exaggerated shocked face. "You really were on good behavior. Fill me in, what did you guys talk about me?"

"Well the conversation started out about sirens, he was asking how Matt and I got together and about the culture and mating habits. When I told him about chosen mate bonds between sirens, how sirens choose their own mates and the mating bond builds over time and is just as strong as fate bonds for wolves he was surprised. I said, imagine how great it would be if that's how it worked for wolves, and he said, he wouldn't give up his goddess given mate for anything, the goddess gave him the perfect mate that he always wanted."

Celie's eyebrows shot up in surprise hearing that.

"He said he knows he fucked up, and that he was a coward for following Reese and not standing up, but he seriously planned to revoke his rejection. He said he was also worried about you; he was afraid Charla would set her sights on you with me out of the picture. Her friend Jennifer had her eye on Adam, they wanted to be Luna and Beta Female and rule over the pack. Since Reese's mate was out of the way, they would have focused on getting Adam for Jennifer and that would have put a target on you, and you would have started getting the full force of their abuse. He wanted to get the guys on his side about you being his mate to help shield you from that." Harper told her. "At least that's what he said, it was part of why he did the rejection. He's sorry for the way he did it though, he said he should have taken the time to tell you what was going on, and not said the words, just told you to keep it quiet until he could work it out. But he panicked and rejected you on the spot."

Celie sat, stunned for several seconds, the thoughts racing through her mind, all the implications, all the walls she'd built up over the last seven years started cracking.

"Do you believe him?" Celie asked.

"I..." Harper started, then sighed. "Yeah, I kinda do. His reactions today, when he heard what Reese and Callum were doing, he was shocked. He really didn't know the extent of their abuse; he was truly horrified by it. I don't think he was as much of an asshole as I used to think he was. You always told me he wasn't like them, I didn't believe you because of what I was going through, I couldn't imagine someone hanging out with, and being so close to Reese and Callum, and not being like them. But apparently they were keeping the real them secret from their closest friends. Which a lot of abusers do, how many friends of abusers have we seen swear on a stack of bibles that their buddy would never beat his kid half to death or hurt his wife?"

It was true, their work with abused children and families had shown them that abusers were good at hiding their crimes from others, even those they are closest to.

"Do you think I should give him another chance?" Celie asked quietly.

"I think you should do whatever will make you happy, Cel." Harper responded gently, laying her hand over Celie's, and giving it a squeeze. "Take your time and figure that out, follow your heart. I love you more than anything in the world, all I want is for you to be happy, and if being with Adam is what will make you happy, then that's what I want, and I will fully support you."

"I just want you to think about it carefully first. Figure out if you can put the past behind you and be happy with him, if you can, then forgive him, accept him as mate, and move on. But just think about it a bit first. The only thing I worry about is that looking at him every day will remind you of everything that happened, and it will hang over your head, and you will never get away from it. PTSD is a serious, sometimes lifelong condition, it can destroy your life, and you suffered pretty severe PTSD after the rejection. The nightmares, the panic, the depression, that might still manifest, especially if you're around him. That's my only concern, seriously."

"Yeah." Celie sighed. "I do see the past him whenever I look at the preset him. I think about it and remember it. I do worry that he'll go back to the way he was, laughing if someone says something cruel, or treating you like shit. I do worry that he'll do it again, just reject me if I'm inconvenient or Reese tells him to. He said he wouldn't make me go back to the pack, but what if he's just saying that to get me to accept him? Then after we're mated and marked drags me back there? I couldn't stand that; I never want to step foot on those pack lands or see those assholes ever again. Those things come into my mind whenever I think about possibilities with him, and they do worry me."

"That's what I was afraid of." Harper said. "But it can be dealt with, you might need some therapy, some talking and getting everything off your chest, work on your trust. And I'll kill him if he tries to drag you back to those goddess forsaken woods, he can forget that shit. But it all depends on you Cel, I'll help you as much as I can. Whatever you need to make your decision, to live with it, I'm always here. I'm not going to tell you what to do, or pressure you. I say take all the time in the world, be sure, before you do anything. But again, that's up to you, it's your life Cel, you're the one who has to live it, not me. So you follow that heart of yours, and listen to your wolf too, she may be strongly affected by the mate bond, but she loves you more than anything. Talk to her, hear her out, and make sure she hears you out. She's the one person you can't get away from, you guys need to come to an agreement that you can both live with."

Celie nodded hesitantly and sighed.

"I'm not sure she's capable of being rational about this, all she wants is him, and she doesn't seem to care about how he treated us in the past. She's completely forgotten our pain and doesn't give a shit about my pain now as long as she gets her mate." Celie said.

Sira's quiet voice said in her mind. It surprised Celie a little, causing her to jerk, her wolf rarely spoke. She'd always been a very quiet wolf, even when she first came out, but she had nearly retreated completely into Celie's mind after the rejection and leaving the pack, she had only spoken a handful of times since they left, but she was still there.

"Sira said she wants her mate, but she hasn't forgotten what he did to me. She also said his wolf wants us and has not let Adam forget that what he did was wrong." Celie relayed to Harper.

"Well, there you go." Harper said, smiling. "If his wolf is on your side and giving him hell, I think there is a lot of motivation for him to act right. Have you talked to his wolf? Maybe you should? See what he has to say about the rejection, and about potentially leaving the pack. If his wolf doesn't want to leave the pack, you will know that at some point he will try to take you back."

"Yeah." Celie nodded, thinking that was a good idea. "I have a lot to think about, and I guess we'll get a chance to talk tomorrow on the boat while you guys are underwater."

"Good." Harper said smiling. "But I'm exhausted, so I'm going to bed after I make Mattie his sardine shake."

"Yum." Celie made a face. "Tell him I said good night, I'm hitting the sack too. Even though I slept half the day today, I still feel like I ran a hundred-mile marathon."

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