Chapter Seventeen

James had been sitting in the drawing room for what felt like an eternity. Perhaps it had been an eternity. Some time ago, a footman had delivered a tray of sandwiches and a pitcher of wine but he hadn’t touched either of them. He wasn’t hungry and he refused to touch alcohol. Ever since he had first received Alice’s letter, he could see that he used it as a crutch to overcome his problems. He would no longer do so. He was determined to solve this problem without avoiding it.

He absently drummed his fingers on the arm of the settee while he waited for Annie to return to collect Amy. Amy sat on the opposite settee playing with her doll. It was a pretty, plush one that she had received from Emilia and Sebastian last Christmas. As far as he was aware, the little thing was called ‘Alalalina’. What else would a two year old girl name her doll? Her shoulder length, blonde hair was tied in pink ribbons and she wore a matching dress that finished at her knee to accommodate for the heat. Underneath she simply wore a pair of silk drawers. He wished it was socially acceptable for him to spend his day in his drawers but it wasn’t.

“Uncle Jamesie,” Amy said sweetly from her chair. Her big, brown eyes were looking at him quizzically. It was startling how much that look mirrored his sister’s.

“Yes, Ames?” His niece has randomly chosen that pet name for him so he’d picked one in return. He was glad ‘Jamesie’ hadn’t caught on. It was quite embarrassing. However, coming from the lips of his little niece, he didn’t mind.

“Mama says you’re in a bad mood,” she said innocently. “Mama says I have to make you happy.”

He raised an eyebrow. She had easily been sitting in that chair for two hours playing make believe with her doll. He didn’t expect her to cheer him up but she was doing an excellent job at it.

Amy abandoned Alalalina on the settee and she hopped down onto the floor. She bounce around the table between the two chairs and climbed up next to him. Once atop the settee, she crawled into his lap and looked up at him with a cheesy yet cute grin on her face.

“Hi,” she chirped.

“Hi, Ames,” he replied, feeling a smile tease his lips already. Children had a way of making things better even when one wanted to wallow. For a minute or two, he would put Alice out of his mind.

“Mama says you got your heart stomped on,” Amy smiled, not knowing what on earth she had just said.

“Mama needs to stop being a blabbering gossip,” James said light-heartedly so that she wouldn’t know that what he was saying was an insult. Clearly Annie and Joseph were having discussions about him at the dinner table.

“Do you want me to kiss it better?” Amy asked. “Whenever I get hurt Mama kisses it and it gets better.”

James chuckled. “Alright,” he agreed.

Amy paused. “Where is your heart?”

James tapped his cheek. “Right here.”

Amy stood up on his lap and planted a wet kiss on his cheek. “There,” she said, satisfied. “All better.”

James wrapped his arms around his little niece and hugged her tightly, holding her against his chest. “All better,” he repeated. And for a moment it was. Only a moment though as the next minute Annie entered the drawing room to collect Amy after running her errands – one of them being the messenger delivering the letter he’d written.

“Mama!” Amy cried happily.

“Hello, I missed you!” Annie replied with a wide smile on her face. She came over to them both and swing her little daughter up into her arms. Amy wrapped her arms around Annie’s neck and nuzzled her chest. Annie looked at James sadly and smiled meekly.

James knew exactly what it meant. It had been a gamble. Obviously it hadn’t paid off. Alice didn’t want to see him anymore. Perhaps in time she would again. He wouldn’t give up, but he would give her a little space. Soon his frequent visits would begin to pester her, if they hadn’t already, and she would start to resent him. He’d find another way.

“She cried,” Annie said softly. “It’s not through lack of love that she stays away. She wouldn’t say, but something has happened.”

He knew something had happened, but he couldn’t very well help if she didn’t trust him enough to share. But she had cried. Clearly his words, the words he’d spent so long composing, meant something. French was ridiculously difficult to learn. There were so many grammatical rules that one had to follow. Even then he was sure he’d made mistakes. He’d just happened upon a language book in the library that contained several different chapters on European languages. He’d flipped through the German, Spanish and Italian chapters to come to the French.

“Thank you anyway,” James replied, shrugging his shoulders. He decided to take his leave and go lose himself in a book in the library. He’d been doing that a lot – reading. He actually found that he didn’t mind it. Perhaps the tales distracted him from his own thoughts. He kissed Annie’s cheek and ruffled Amy’s hair, making her giggle. “Thank you, Ames. You made it all better,” he lied to his cute niece.

Come dusk, he’d been immersed in an adventure novel for several hours. He was lounging in an arm chair and with his leg flung over the side when his mother burst into the room.

He dropped the novel on the floor and he lost his place. “Mama, care to knock?”

“Not in my own house, no,” Emilia replied hurriedly. “Now. You have exactly thirteen minutes to throw on some tails. We’re going out and you’re coming with us. I’ve had enough of this.”

James threw an exasperated look at his mother who had already donned her fine evening wear. “I’m not in the –” he started but Emilia interrupted him.

“Mood,” Emilia finished his sentence for him. “I know. You’ve said so repeatedly.”

“So is there a chance you might ever start listen to me?”

Emilia scoffed. “Never. You know that. I’m your mother, not your peer. You do as I say and right now I’m telling you to get dressed and be down stairs in twelve and a half minutes. Now!” She lightly slapped the back of his head before planting a kiss on top of his head. She combed her fingers through his unruly hair. “She won’t be the last girl you ever love.”

“Yes she will,” he replied immediately. He’d realised that a while ago. Probably after he’d gone to see her the first time he realised that he loved her. He loved her with everything that he had and he hadn’t known what it meant before then. To love someone meant that one felt as though they were flying and falling at the same time. Flight described the wonders one felt and the falling described the fear one had. Right now he felt as though he was about to fall straight through the clouds.

Emilia sighed and kissed him again. “Twelve minutes, darling,” she reminded him. “I’ll see you downstairs.” She retreated from the library. He knew if he did not get dressed then she would no doubt drag him to the carriage in whatever state of undress he was in.

He reluctantly climbed out of his armchair and left his book on a table that held a candelabra. James went upstairs to his bedchamber and put on the first tails he could find in his wardrobe. It was a navy suit with an ivory and gold patterned waist coat and a silk ivory cravat to complete the ensemble. He changed his boots to a pair that had been shined and he ran his hands through his hair a few times, combing the thick, brown mess. He really wasn’t in the mood to attend whatever ball or dinner his family had been invited to, but if he was going to fall, it might as well be while he was eating a fine meal.

His mother, father and Henry were all waiting for him in the foyer.

“Where are we going?” James asked.

“The church is holding a little charity assembly,” Emilia replied. “Everyone is going to dance and enjoy good conversation while some lovely things are auctioned. The money will go to the orphanage and towards preparing hampers for the less fortunate come Christmastime.”

James preferred that above a pretentious ball at a Lord’s home. The only negative was that Alice would be a building away, that is, if she wasn’t at the assembly. Would he have the nerve to ask her to dance if she was? Of course he would – but would she say ‘yes’? Most likely not.

He was silent in the carriage on the way to the church while his family conversed merrily. The traffic outside the little church was much busier than it was on a Sunday morning. He found that a little amusing. People were more likely to come to a dance then a sermon.

James could hear the pianoforte being played as they approached. His parents were greeted by friends as they walked in. The church was completely transformed. The pews were no longer on the floor, he actually wasn’t sure where they were. But nevertheless, they had been moved elsewhere. A pianoforte was in the corner being played by a young, red haired woman. Several circles of dancers twirled and pranced around dancing the Galop. Non-alcoholic refreshments were being exchanged – James thought it was probably immoral or something to serve alcohol in a church anyway.

He recognised Mrs Eloise Brown standing behind the several dishes of finger foods, happily chatting to guests, though he couldn’t see Alice anywhere. Without Eloise there to care for the children, Alice obviously couldn’t attend.

He spotted his sisters dancing with their husbands in one of the circles, with the exception of Annie who was happily chatting to patrons as they observed the fine things on display. Objects such as mirrors, scents, brooches and hairpins were for sales, as well as things like handmade clothes, bonnets and gloves. The men were not left out. Watches, hats and cufflinks were just a few of the lovely objects available. He was glad that so many shops were generous enough to donate their products to charity.

“It’s been a while, my love.”

Her voice made him want to deafen himself so that he’d never have to hear her again. He rolled his eyes as he turned to see her standing before him, wearing quite a promiscuous red gown.

“Good evening, Miss Smith,” James said formally, not wishing to exchange anything other than pleasantries.

Sarah arched her dark eyebrow. “Miss Smith, is it?” she repeated. “That’s not what one would usually call their fiancée, James.”

James scoffed. “Are you hard of hearing, or are you just delusional? The engagement has been null and void for over a month.”

Sarah smiled, as if she’d just thought of something terribly clever. “I’ve given you all the space you need to get the French twit out of your system. I’m perfectly willing to forgive this little interlude once we are properly engaged again.”

James couldn’t believe that Sarah was serious and that she had the audacity to call Alice a ‘twit’. “Sarah, I’d protect your reputation, if I were you. In London it is impossible to regain once lost. Talking so candidly about another is a way to lose friends – and you don’t have many to begin with.”

Sarah smirked. “Perhaps not. But I don’t need friends when I have you.”

“You don’t have me, Sarah. You never did. The French ‘twit’, as you say, does,” he said rudely, not caring about his tone.

Sarah pursed her lips and he could see the cogs in her brain spinning as she devised a plan. She wouldn’t convince him to take her back though. Never again would he even contemplate marrying such a woman with an odious character. “Alice will never accept you, I hope you know that.”

“Maybe not but …” he paused. “Did you just say ‘Alice’?” He could have sworn she just said Alice’s name. How could she know that if … if she didn’t know the truth.

Sarah’s eyes narrowed as a devious smile spread across her face. “Did I?” she said mysteriously. “I suppose I did. Alice,” she said again. “A perfectly plain name to go with an average face, don’t you think?”

“How did you find out?” James asked darkly.

“That doesn’t matter,” Sarah dismissed it. “But what does matter is that Alice and I have a little … understanding.”

That was when it hit him and he cursed himself for not realising it sooner. The letter was written by Sarah. He even recognised the penmanship now that he thought about it. She’d just slanted her own handwriting to disguise it. She’d somehow learned of Alice’s secret and was using it against her to keep her away from James. In reality, she might love him. That gave him all the incentive he needed to bury Sarah.

“What sort of understanding is this, Sarah?” James growled.

“Oh, James,” Sarah smiled. “I simply helped the little imp to see my … point of view. She agreed that it was best if she stayed away. I think she likes her head where it is.”

If he believed in striking a woman, he would have slapped Sarah’s face. She didn’t deserve good fortune. “You cold, cruel, evil woman,” he sneered.

“Call me all the names you like, James, it won’t make Alice’s little secret escape my memory. She’s been a naughty one, hasn’t she?” she giggled. “Now, she and I have an understanding – how about you and I make a little deal, hmm?” she suggested.

James was not now, nor would he ever, allow himself to be blackmailed. He knew of only one way to protect Alice – and that was to change her name. If he had his way, by the end of the night, it would be replaced by his. “Do not even attempt to threaten me,” James spat. “From now on you will leave Alice alone. Whatever understanding you have is over. She is under my protection.”

Sarah scoffed. “Then I’m afraid she has a dawn appointment with Madame Guillotine.” She shrugged her shoulders, satisfied that her threat would scare him into complying. “Do they take the hair off decapitated women? As unflattering her looks are, she does have nice locks. Perhaps they could make a wig for someone. Her existence should be good for something.”

James shot her one last murderous look. “I’ve got a clergyman and a potential bride. Before the night is out, she will be an Alcott and you won’t touch her.”

Sarah looked up for the challenge.

James spun on his heel and made his way directly back out of the church to walk down the lane to the orphanage that sat behind it. He’d get her to throw on her best dress and they’d be married in front of the assembly between the waltz and the quadrille. He didn’t care that it was fast or that his grandmother and aunt and uncle weren’t present – a small, intimate ceremony could be planned later – all he wanted was his Alice safe.

He knocked on the door quickly and loudly, hoping that Alice would answer it with the same speed.

Within a few minutes, the door was open and Alice stood before him wearing her nightgown and a wrap. Clearly she was ready to retire for the night. She looked at him regretfully. “I don’t want to see you.”

“You don’t have to lie to me anymore,” James said, feeling slightly relieved that it all would be over soon. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you sooner. I found out that Sarah has been blackmailing you. She found you out and she’s been using it against you.”

Alice peered at him curiously. “You know?” she repeated. “‘ow did you find out?”

“It’s not important. What is important is that you get dressed and we go and get married right this minute.” He could have thought of a more romantic way to propose but at that moment he didn’t have time to recite poetry and sonnets.

Alice looked surprised, and rightly so. “What?”

“I apologise. But we don’t have time to hesitate. I think I have poked an already blazing flame in Sarah. She’s going to turn you in. We need Joseph to marry us right this minute so that you may have my family’s protection. Get dressed, please,” he urged.

Alice gasped and clamped her hand over her mouth. “Sarah threatened me … marrying you will not protect me. No money could ever stop my execution. It could only ensure that the blade of the guillotine is sharp.” Her voice cracked on the last word.

James wouldn’t allow such images to enter his head. “Alice, dress please,” he begged.

Alice nodded sadly. “I’d always imagined that if I ever married that it would be by a Catholic priest,” she said quietly.

James made a mental note to talk to a priest about doing a Catholic ceremony as well. He’d never foreseen marriage for himself, but now he was planning three ceremonies. “I promise, we’ll do it properly later. But now we don’t have the time.”

“Alright, I’ll dress.” Alice closed the door and left him outside.

James couldn’t believe that he’d be married within the hour with a wife by his side. Alice would no longer reside in the orphanage, she’d reside at Ethridge with him. He’d have to see about hiring another matron to stay with the children overnight, he didn’t think Alice would give up going there during the day. There was so much to organise!

He leant against the front wall of the orphanage while he waited for Alice to emerge. He wasn’t nervous. He was excited. Although it was quick, it was what he wanted. He’d be a wonderful husband … he’d try to be anyway … and a good father to their children. He didn’t know what he wanted first – a girl or a boy. Perhaps they’d be twins, like he and Kitty were. His daughter would be beautiful like her mother. His son, he hoped, would have Alice’s gorgeous, blue eyes, but he hoped that he’d be tall like him. He had no idea what they’d be called. Alice would no doubt want something French. So long as he could pronounce it, he didn’t mind.

Twenty minutes later, Alice emerged in a simple, short sleeved dress. It was an off white colour and it had a pale, blue bow tied around her little waist. She’d tied her long curls back with a matching ribbon. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were wide with either fear or excitement – he couldn’t decide.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

Alice nodded nervously. “As I’ll ever be,” she whispered.

James held out his arm and she took it. They walked together in silence towards the church. He couldn’t help but feel as though there was an awkwardness between them. He knew it wasn’t how it should be. They should be courting and getting to know one another … they hadn’t even kissed yet! But it was necessary. The getting to know each other part could come later.

As they came around the front of the church, he could hear the music coming from inside.

“Don’t be scared,” he said reassuringly. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I know,” she breathed.

He led her into the church and they both scanned the room for Joseph. Several people turned their heads to see the little woman on James’ arm. He was an eligible bachelor once again and that meant that the daughters of the ton would be thrust in his path – but not for long.

Joseph was dancing with Annie on the opposite side of the room.

“There he is.” James began to guide Alice through the people towards the man that would marry them.

“Jacqueline!” Emilia exclaimed as they walked past her and Sebastian on their way to Joseph and Annie. James nearly groaned. They didn’t have time for pleasantries.

“Bonsoir, Comtesse,” Alice managed to say with a forced smile.

“It’s lovely to see the two of you together,” she said encouragingly.

“Yes, now James won’t be moping around the manor any longer,” Sebastian chuckled.

“Excuse us,” James murmured. “We’re just going to get married.”

“What!” they both cried but James didn’t stop to explain. He pulled Alice away.