Its been two week since i found out i was pregnant and today is my first doctors appointment, no one knows but me. I will tell Kingston and my parents after today I really just want to hear it out of the doctors mouth.

"Ayda maze" the nurse calls. I follow behind her to a hallways where they take my weight, temp, blood pressure, and a urin sample, she leads me to a room after asking me a million questions she tells me the doctor will be with me soon.

"Ayda, nice to meet you I'm doctor Benes. we got your urin sample back and you are pregnant, congratulations! I wrote down ob offices near this area. Do you know your last menstral cycle?" I shake my head no. "Okay how about we set you up with an ultrasound find our for ya today" he says in his southern draw. "Thank you that would be great" I tell him. "No problem the nurse will be back with the machine in a minute anything else I can do for you besides the nausea medications." I shake my head" no Thank you." He shakes my hand and walks out.

A while later a nurse comes in with this tv looking thing where I see the smallest little life I've ever seen. Instant love!

After I get out of the office I feel like a different person. I send a text to Stacey

Me: Hey love, wanna meet for lunch?

Stacey: I'm able to meet at 2, how that sound?

Me: perfect I got you a surprise meet me at the park we can eat from the vendors there?

Stacey: I love surprises! Yyyaaasss see you there.

I can't wait to tell my best friend, I know I should tell Kingston first but it's Stacey. I got to a local shop and buy this bear I seen in the window it was a tie dye bear one side was different pinks and the other was different blues, I also had the lady make a voice over that says "You will be the best God mother ever" she wraps it in a pretty white box and ties it up with yellow string.

I get to the park a little bit early telling Stacey I got off work early and was going to go ahead and get our food. I'm waiting at the picnic table so impatiently my foot is bouncing up and down and I don't think I have any more fingernails to chew on when I finally see Stacy making her way towards me I'm so excited I can barely contain it.

"Why the hell you look so happy" she questions. "What I can't be happy to see my friend" I smile. she eyes me "no your best friend." That had me laughing.

We ate our luch and talked about the big move off to college little did she know my plans changed.

"So I got you a little something" I smile and hand her the box. She takes the box and opens it I can see her face morph into shock them surprise then happiness. "Omg omg omg I'm so happy? She questions looking for an answer. I shake my head yes. "I got so many questions" she says but I hold my hand up wanting to enjoy this moment. "Can we please do it another day" she smiles "Yes ma'am, as she hugs me hard. "Now please squeeze the bear! "I smile up at her, as she squeezes the bear I see tears in her eyes "well will you?" "Like you even had to ask! Yes! She says hugging it.

I sit on my bed and look at this ultrasound picture I can see this little baby. I'm 11 weeks and 4 days and it's time to tell my parents and Kingston.

I've wrote this Facebook message like four times and I erase it every time. I don't have his number but I don't feel like this is news to share over a message, so I drive to his house.

I'm sitting in his driveway working up the nerve to walk in when he walks out, so I jump out of my car and speed up my step to catch him my steps falters when I see Holly is with him, crap.

"Ayda hey what are you doing here?" Kingston ask surprised. I look over to Holly she looks like she could kill me.

"Hey I wanted to say thanks for catching me the other week at the dinner ceremony, I was wondering if we could talk alone." I ask trying not to sound weak. "Sure." He leads Holly to the car and opened the door for her. A ping of jealousy goes through me.

"What's up, I'm trying to spend some Time with Holly before I go off to Harvard I leave in a month and have so much to do." He say. "Yeah sorry I just wanted to talk about us I know we aren't an item but... He cuts me off "and we never were, he runs his hands through his hair look I told you before I like you but I don't want any relationship with you it was a one time thing as bad as it kills me that's it let's drop it" he looks back at the car then to me "it was a huge mistake that I don't want Holly to know about it!"

Wow a huge mistake he says thanks a lot, I'm a huge mistake. I'm holding back my tears I try one more time

"Kingston I don't think you are understanding what I'm.... "No I do understand and I'm done with this" he walks to his car and drives off.

I let the tears fall freely I was a mistake this was a mistake coming here.