《Face Your Fears》Chapter 33

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Milo was asleep.

His little hands were balled into fists beside his head, his tiny mouth turned down in a frown. He kept making these little sniffling noises every so often, his chest fluttering as he breathed.

I wasn't sure how long I had been sitting on the edge of the bed, watching him sleep.

Milo had been home with us for almost four weeks now, and I still had difficultly believing that he was actually my son. Now that he was here, I found it impossible to imagine life without him.

He was unsually quiet for a newborn, and exceptionally observant.

When he wasn't sleeping, he preferred to stay tucked up in my or Hadley's arms, or laying on our shoulders, and he simply watched. It was the most fascinating thing, seeing the expressions that would flit across his face when he saw something new, or met someone for the first time.

Everything was new to him. I was beyond lucky to be able to see him growing each and every day.

"Archer, can you zip me up, please?"

I looked up as Hadley spoke, exiting the bathroom, lifting her hair off her neck.

"Sure."

I stood and crossed the room to her, reaching out to zip up the back of the light blue dress she was wearing.

"Were you watching Milo sleeping the entire time I was in there?" she asked, letting her hair fall.

"Yes," I answered immediately. "Why, is that weird?"

"No, no, of course not," she said, turning around to face me. "I just thought I was the only one."

"What d'you mean?"

Hadley shrugged, wrapping her arms around herself as she walked over to Milo's crib. "I don't know. It's just like...sometimes I get this irrational fear that if I take my eyes off of him, he'll disappear."

"No. That's not just you," I said. "I get the same feeling, too."

She reached down to stroke a finger across Milo's cheek, and he gave another quiet sniffle, as if even unconscious he knew his mother was nearby.

"Maybe it's just new parent paranoia, then," she said.

I slid my arms around her from behind, resting my chin on her shoulder. "I think we have more reason than most to be paranoid about our son."

"Fair point. But I'd rather not think about that today. Or tomorrow. Or ever again."

I wholeheartedly agreed.

My phone started ringing at that moment, and I quickly grabbed at it while Milo woke and immediately started crying.

"Hello?" I said into the phone while Hadley comforted Milo.

"Hey, bro, we're on our way over right now," my sister June said. "Everything all right on your end?"

"Yeah, we're fine. We just have to get Milo ready, and we're good to go."

"Brilliant."

I signed off with June, tossed my phone onto the bed, and finished packing the diaper bag while Hadley changed Milo.

Today was the day of all days.

Today Milo was going to be baptized at St. Patrick's. It was going to be the biggest event to hit the family since his birth.

My mother and my aunts were going all out for this, and far from being annoyed about it, I was excited to be able to photograph the event whenever I could find the time to get my hands on my camera.

Baptisms were an important part of any Catholic's life. It was only natural everyone go all out for Milo's.

A new generation of the Incitti family had begun, which was apparently reason enough to throw a massive party at the coffee house and make enough food to feed half the city.

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I had learned a long time ago not to ask questions when my aunts and my mother were put in charge of planning some event. Hadley wasn't stupid enough to voice any objection, either.

I got a text from June that they were around the corner as I was locking the front door to the apartment.

"Somehow I'm more nervous for this baptism than I was for our wedding," Hadley said as we made our way down the sairs to the parking garage.

I laughed. "Sweetheart, we're Italian, and we're Catholic. You had to know this was coming."

"I know, I know," she said, waving a hand. "I just didn't expect the whole three day celebration thing."

"Like my mother and my aunts need an excuse to throw party," I said.

"Yet another good point," Hadley said.

My mother and my sisters were waiting for us in the SUV in the parking garage and immediately leapt out when they saw us.

Mom had a ridiculously eager look on her face as she hugged us both, squeezing tightly.

"I can't believe Milo's being baptized today!" she gushed. "This is so exciting!"

"Yeah, we're thrilled," Hadley said with a grin.

"It's not like you've been keeping who Milo's godparents are a secret or anything either," April said as she buckled Milo's car seat into the SUV.

Hadley and I exchanged looks as we climbed into the SUV.

The identity of Milo's godparents had been an increasingly touchy subject. None of my family members would outwardly admit it, but they all wanted the title.

It hadn't taken us long to decide who would be Milo's godparents; it had almost been an unanimous decision. Whether or not they would actually show up was something else entirely, and that was what had the both of us worried.

It was a half hour ride from our apartment building to St. Patrick's. Finding a parking spot proved to be a problem, and we were all excited to get out. Milo had thankfully fallen back asleep, and hopefully he would stay asleep for mass. I had my doubts about when he was baptized, though. No baby ever remained calm through that.

The pews were full of regular Sunday church-goers as we made our way inside. The first few pews up by the altar had been reserved for the family, and they were already packed. Zia Karin was the first on her feet, sprinting up the main aisle towards us.

"There you are!" she said, reaching out to pull me and Hadley into a tight hug. "We were beginning to worry that you wouldn't show up."

"Like we'd miss our own son's baptism," I said with a scoff.

Mass wasn't set to start for another ten minutes or so, and our assembled family all wanted to get a peek at Milo, being loud like they usually were.

Hadley wrapped her fingers around my wrist and nodded towards the back of the church, where a few last minute stragglers were trying to find seats. I knew what she was hinting at, and I followed after her as she started leading me down the aisle.

"This is a long shot, you know," I muttered to her as we walked towards the lobby. "I don't even know if he'll hear us or - "

"Have a little faith, Archer," Hadley said. "You know just as well as I do that Death's done enough for us. The least we can do is try."

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

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Thankfully the lobby was empty, so we went unnoticed as Hadley cracked open the door of the room used for daily mass, where we'd gotten ready for our wedding, too.

I quietly shut the door behind me, checking the time on my watch. "We've only got a few minutes. How's this going to work?"

Hadley shrugged, taking a few tentative steps further into the room. "I usually just started talking whenever I needed to see him, and eventually he showed up."

She didn't sound too sure about that.

"Let's hear it, then."

I didn't have to be looking at Hadley to know she'd be rolling her eyes, but she took a deep breath and said, "So. Um. Death? Look, I know you're probably busy...doing whatever it is that you do. But we were just wondering if you'd be able to spare a bit of time for us? There's something we wanted to ask you, and I hope that - "

"My, my. It's been years since you've asked for my help, Hadley Jamison."

I tried not to jump about a foot in the air as Death leaned casually up against the wall beside me, arms crossed, a relaxed expression on his face. He looked considerably better than the last time I'd seen him. Remembering how his final meeting with Lucrezia had gone, though, I suspected she was still taking up a large portion of his thoughts.

"You know, I am married," Hadley said to Death, giving a small smile. "It's Morales now."

"I know," Death said. "Saw that one coming from a mile away, kid. But you'll always be Hadley Jamison to me."

I wasn't quite sure what was going to happen next, but I definitely hadn't expected Hadley to walk forward and throw her arms around Death, hugging him tightly. I was sure Death was just as surprised as I was, but he hid it well, loosely wrapping his arms around Hadley in return.

"Thank you," I heard her mumble against his shoulder. "For everything."

"Yeah," Death said quietly.

And those were the only words they exchanged on the matter.

When Hadley stepped away from Death, she came to my side, reaching out to lace her fingers through mine.

"So why exactly did you need to see me?" Death asked, clearing his throat. He looked a little awkward after Hadley's unexpected hug. I imagined human contact was nearly nonexistent for him.

"We, ah...were hoping to ask you something," I said, exchanging a glance with Hadley.

"And that would be?"

"We were wondering if you would be Milo's godfather."

It was difficult to describe the look that slowly came over Death's face as the realization of what we'd said sunk in.

Surprised. Confused. Pained, even.

"You want...Milo?" he said hoarsely.

"Our son," I clarified.

"Your son." A slight smile pulled at the corners of his mouth as he looked to Hadley. "Looks like I was wrong, wasn't I?"

Hadley shrugged. "No harm, no foul."

"Wait. What're you two talking about?" I asked, confused.

"It would take too long to explain," Hadley told me. "But it's nothing to worry about. Death just showed me a...a version of our future, I guess. And we had a daughter, not a son."

If the events of the past few months had never occurred, I would have been a lot more baffled and angry. Now I'd learned to just accept it. Weird things were probably always going to happen to us from now on.

"That's why you were so convinced the baby was going to be a girl," I said.

"Exactly."

"I've been wrong occasionally," Death said. "It's been known to happen."

"Listen, Death," Hadley said, bringing us back to the matter at hand. "I understand if this is something you'd rather not do, but we just thought that after everything you - "

Death held up his hand, cutting Hadley off mid-sentence.

"Let me just get this straight. You two really do want me to be your son's godfather."

"Yes," Hadley and I said together. "We really do."

It might have taken only a moment as Death clearly had some sort of internal debate with himself, but it seemed much longer than that. I couldn't possibly begin to imagine what he was contemplating, but surely there were a few things to consider.

In the end, when he finally spoke, it was what sealed the deal.

"Then I would be honored to be your son's godfather."

Hadley broke out into a wide smile. "You had to have seen this coming a mile away."

Death actually smiled at that, something I would've thought impossible.

"Thank you," I said.

I'd never been any good at conveying emotion, and I hoped Death understood just how much I meant that.

Death clapped a hand on my shoulder, like he had the night I'd left Hadley. That seemed to say more than enough.

"We should get going," Hadley said, heading for the door. "Mass should be starting any minute now."

We crept our way out of the room, through the lobby, and back up the side aisle to where the family was seated. It was impossible not to notice the shifty look in Death's eyes as he glanced around at all of the people seated in the pews, especially at our very loud family as we approached them.

He looked nervous, actually. It would've been funny if I wasn't nervous, too, at the prospect of my family meeting Death.

"We were just going to send out a search party for you," Mom said, looking relieved when she saw us. "Where did you two wander off to? Not that anybody's minding getting their share of holding Milo."

"We didn't go far," I said. "But listen, Ma. There's somebody we'd like you to meet."

That was when Mom's eyes fell on Death, and all color seemed to drain from her face as she took an immediate step back.

I'd almost forgotten how downright creepy Death looked with the whole terminally ill thing he had going on. The polite smile on his face really wasn't helping either. It just made him look even creepier.

"Um." Mom dragged her gaze away from Death and stared at me blankly, like she'd forgotten how to speak. "What?"

"This is, ah..."

Hadley and I exchanged awkward glances. We couldn't exactly tell the family that they were being introduced to Death, right?

"Aleph," Death said, nodding curtly. "My name is Aleph."

Hadley shot Death a curious look, and I remembered I'd never told her that Aleph was Death's real name, but she went along with it, saying, "Right. This is Aleph."

"N-Nice to meet you."

I was shocked. That was the first time I'd ever heard my mother stammer before.

"Pleasure," Death said.

"Aleph is going to be Milo's godfather," I explained.

"Oh," Mom said, and now she looked incredulous. "I...I see."

I knew we wouldn't be able to escape the barrage of questions sure to be thrown at us after mass, but we had more important things to be worried about. I didn't think anybody would be too pleased that we'd picked an apparent stranger to be our son's godfather, but hopefully that would change when they had the chance to speak with Death. The man could be charasmatic when he wanted to. Even I had to admit that.

"Lauren," I said quietly, reaching over to where she was sitting beside John to squeeze her shoulder.

She looked up and gave a smile when she saw me. The bruises on her face had faded over the past few weeks and were not too noticeable now, but I knew her ribs were still giving her trouble. "Hey, Archer."

"Will you come here a sec?"

"Sure."

She joined us in the aisle, excited to see Hadley, giving her a hug, but her expression slipped and her eyes widened when she saw Death. She didn't say anything, but it looked like she was suddenly anxious to get the hell out of here.

"Lauren, we wanted to ask you something," Hadley said, drawing her attention away from Death.

"Yeah?" Lauren said slowly, looking back at us. "What's up?"

"We were wondering if you would be Milo's godmother," I said, giving her a smile.

"Me?" Lauren choked a little on an intake of air.

"We didn't think there'd be a better candidate for the job," Hadley said, squeezing Lauren in a one-sided hug.

"Absolutely," I agreed.

Truly, there wasn't.

The first time Lauren saw Milo a dumbstruck look came over her face, and she refused to give him up for a good half hour, just cradling him in her arms, brushing a finger across his cheek every so often. Milo had slept soundly, but held tightly onto her finger, and it was immediately clear she was just as taken with him as the rest of us were.

"Wow," Lauren said shakily, her eyes oddly bright. "Godmother. That's...definitely something."

"So will you do it?" Hadley asked eagerly.

Lauren pulled Hadley into another hug, saying, "Yes, of course I will."

"Nice choice," I heard my mother say quietly to me, giving me a smile.

I couldn't help but feel relieved now. Milo's soon-to-be godfather had shown up, Lauren had agreed to be his godmother, and the baptism was going to go off without a hitch.

Of course, seeing as our life was occasionally bat-shit crazy, it wouldn't surprise me if something unusual did happen.

Like, would Death burst into flames if he stood inside a church for too long? That was just one question my mind was currently skipping around.

We were approached by the deacon a moment later, informing us that mass was about to start, and that we would begin with the baptismal proceedings.

Hadley took Milo from Zia Sophia and Death, Lauren, and I all joined her in heading to the baptismal font up towards the alter. The priest was waiting for us and gave us a delighted smile as we gathered around the font.

Surprisingly, the baptism did go pretty smoothly, if you didn't count the fact that Hadley had to make mad dash for the bathroom with Milo to change his diaper halfway through mass.

Unsurprisingly, our son also put his lungs to the test wailing to his heart's content when the priest blessed him with holy water.

There seemed to be a never ending stream of sniffles and tears from all of the women in the family, as well as the continuous flashing of cameras. Milo's baptism was the spectacle we figured it would be, which I assumed caught Death unawares, considering he looked like he wanted to sink through the floor anytime somebody took a picture of him, which then made me wonder if he would even actually show up on film. Holding Milo for the five seconds that he did seemed to make him even more uncomfortable, and he was only too happy pass him off to Lauren as quickly as possible.

But I had to commend him for the brave front he put up, going with the flow, even though he never once cracked the smallest of smiles.

Mass went a little longer than its usual hour thanks to the baptism, but once it concluded, the family was eager as hell to book it to the cars to rush back to Mama Rosa's for the "after party."

"As flattered as I am that you asked me to be your son's godfather," Death said as Hadley buckled Milo into his car seat, "I'm not so sure I - "

"You've done enough," she said with a laugh. "You aren't required to come to the party."

He looked visibly relieved at this. "Thank you."

"Well, my aunts and my mother won't be too pleased about it," I told him with a smirk. "I'm sure I can come up with a feasible lie, though."

"Thanks," Death said, rolling his eyes.

"Are you ready to go, you guys?" Lauren said, coming over to us. "Your mom wants to leave before traffic gets too bad."

Traffic was always shit in New York, so I figured loitering around for a few more minutes couldn't hurt.

"We'll be good to go in just a second," I said to her.

Both Hadley and I looked expectantly at Death once Lauren wandered off again.

I wondered if there would ever come a time where we weren't going to thank Death profusely for saving our hides, and he seemed to realize this as he held up a hand, cutting us off before we could even begin.

"I'll be apart of your son's life as his godfather, but I make no promises that it'll be frequent. There are things I have to...constantly take care of."

"Yeah, I think we're better off not knowing the details of whatever the job you have is," I said. "We'll take what we can get."

Death laughed. "Good to know."

When we said goodbye, it wasn't emotional and there weren't any tears. We seemed to have a silent understanding as we shook hands.

Death bent down to have a few words with Milo and say goodbye, and after tipping us a salute, he took off down the side aisle, disappearing from view in that unnatural way of his.

I glanced down at Hadley, and she was watching the spot where Death had been standing just moments ago, a blank look on her face.

"When do you think we'll see him again?" she asked me, her voice quiet.

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