"Morning mum." I smiled sadly as I sat down cross legged in-front of her grave and placed a bouquet of white roses onto the gravestone. My mums favourite flowers had always been white roses and I remembered ever since I was little she was always have a vase of them in the kitchen. When she first passed, dad couldn't bare the sight or smell of them as they just reminded him of her. I looked at the grave stone and smiled sadly at the words engraved in italics.

Mary Walker. Beloved mother, wife and daughter.

I wiped a quick tear that had escaped as I gave a smile, looking up into the clouds. "Do you know how much I miss you? Dad pretends that it doesn't hurt as bad as it does but I know he's hurting still." I told her.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on them. "It's been ten years since I saw your beautiful smile and those gorgeous brown eyes that would always light up when you saw me or dad. God how has it been ten years? It feels like yesterday when you picked me up from school for the last time." My voice croaked and now the tears were fully coming but I didn't care.

"Remember we went to get ice cream after I begged and begged?" I chuckled to myself. "You pushed the ice cream in my face and I sulked the whole way home."

By this point I was full out sobbing as I cradled my head in my knees. "I miss you so fucking much mum." I cried in-between sniffs.

After a few moments, I had managed to calm down and wiped my wet cheeks and fiddled with my necklace Reece had given me for Christmas. "You'd like him mum and to be honest I don't even know what to do." I shook my head. "How I wish you were here so you could laugh at my boy problems."

It felt good to let this all out to her. "What do I do? My friends and Belle all seem to think that he likes me back but I don't even think there's a one percent chance that's true. Plus, I don't even want a relationship but I can't help how I feel."

I took a deep breath. "In all honestly I'm absolutely petrified." This was something I'd never admit to my best friends. Ever since Belle's party, I was being suffocated by feelings I didn't want to have.

"Because I keep telling myself it's only a little crush but deep down I know it's so much more than that. I think." I paused, taking a deep breath. "I think I'm falling in love with him."

Holy fucking shit, did I actually just admit that out loud?

"But I'm only a friend to him and that's ok. I never expected us to go this far to be honest. When he started tutoring me, I expected him to be a dick and that we would get our tutoring over and done with and never speak to each other again."

I chuckled lightly. "Well that clearly didn't happen."

Talking about Reece made me feel better and that's what pissed me off. Why was it as soon as I start thinking about him and his stupid attractive face that I feel better.

I was truly pathetic.

I glanced at my phone and sighed deeply when I saw it was ten past 8. Me and dad had plans to come here later but I just wanted to see her on my own first. Every year we would light lanterns and make a tribute to the person we both loved and missed most in this world.

"Anyway I better go, you know school and all." I said to nowhere in particular, just knowing that I was talking to my mum. Hoping she was up there somewhere having the time of her life. I had no idea if she could hear me or If I was just talking to absolutely no one but it helped.

It has helped since the day she died.

I stood up and grabbed my school bag, flinging it over my shoulder and taking one last look at the grave before leaving.

"I'll be back later; I love you mum."

Not looking back, I scurried to my car and drove to school. My eyes slightly stung from crying but I quickly applied some concealer to cover the redness of my cheeks and eye lids once I had parked up.

This was going to be a long fucking day.

I sat down at lunch nibbling my sandwich as I watched my friends laughing with each other. Cole had his arm around Jodie as the three boys wound her up about something. I didn't know what they were talking about even though I'd been here the whole time I just couldn't concentrate on anything all day.

Cole and Jodie knew it was her anniversary but I always said I didn't want them to act different around me on the day as it would just make it worse.

"I'm going to the toilet." I announced as I stood up.

Jodie shot me a knowing look before smiling. "Want me to come with you?"

I shook my head. "No its fine, I'll be right back." I replied and made my way out of the cafeteria. I walked slowly to the toilets as I wasn't in a rush to go back. It wasn't anything they were doing wrong I just didn't feel that great about everything. I thought I would be ok and dad even offered me to take the day off but I didn't want to sit at home on my own dwelling on the fact that my mum has been dead for ten years.

I pushed open the toilet doors and sighed so fucking loudly when I saw who was in there. Amber, Chloe and Mona stood staring into the mirror fixing their hair and makeup. I was just about to retreat when their heads snapped to mine.

Amber and Chloe shared a look and Mona just looked confused. She never really knew what was going on.

Amber stepped forward with a strange look on her face. "Hello Sam."

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you want?"

"Oh nothing." Amber smiled. But it wasn't a sweet smile, it was one of those fake bitchy ones. "How are you?"

I sighed. "Look Amber I'm really not in the fucking mood for your shit today."

I turned around to leave the bathroom but only to be pushed back in by Brad. The door was slammed shut as he stood in-front of it, blocking me from leaving. I threw my hands in the air. "What the fuck do you lot want? I'm so fucking bored of this shit."

Mona furrowed her eyebrows as she looked in-between Amber and Brad. "What are you guys doing?"

Chloe shushed her as she glared back at me. "We're here to talk to you." Amber replied.

"What? Was posting half naked photos of me around school and cutting my hair not fucking enough for you?" I yelled, getting angrier by the second.

Mona's eyes widened as she flipped her red hair off her shoulder and turned to Amber. "You what?"

This time, Chloe and Amber both silenced her and turned back to me. "Oh hunny, that was just a warning." Amber said.

"A warning for what?" I snarled, getting angrier by the second as I clenched my fists. "What the fuck have I done so bad to you to deserve that? You're the one who my boyfriend cheated on with. You're the one who's a fucking bully, not me."

The mention of boyfriend made her eye twitch and if I wasn't so mad I would have laughed. "Boyfriend, that's right." She stared at her nails before looking back at me. What is it with these girls being obsessed with their fake fucking nails?

"The same boyfriend who fucked me in the same car the same night you lost your virginity to him."

I shook my head with disbelief. "You think I give a shit? Well I don't and when I tell you do not fucking mess with me today because it won't end well for you."

Chloe laughed and Amber held her hands up in surrender with a mocking smirk. "Oh I'm so scared."

"You think your mum would be proud of who you are?" She shook her head at me. "You're a fucking disgrace. You're just an ugly slut running around with Reece who doesn't even fucking like you. You think you're special? Well, news flash, you're not."

I stared at her for a second as I took in what she had just said. She smiled proudly as she had shocked me but what she wasn't prepared for was me diving on her and plummeting my fist into her face multiple times.

If it wasn't today of all days, the hardest day of the year for me I wouldn't have reacted that bad but I told her not to mess with me today.

"Don't ever fucking talk about her." I screamed in anger as I threw my first back down at her again. I was harshly yanked back as fingers dug into my arms painfully. I threw my head back and head-butted Brad as I sent an elbow to his groin. He cried out in pain and let me go as I flung open the bathroom door and took a run for it down the corridor.

I didn't stop running until I reached the courtyard and I slid against the wall. I wasn't running away from them; I wasn't scared of them. I was scared of myself. I let myself become a complete mess and I let her get to me. I always did.

She had won once again.

Now I would probably get expelled for punching her like that.

"Sammy." Reece breathed softly as I arched my neck to look up at him.

"Hey!" He was next to me in a heartbeat as he crouched down in front of me and then looked at my fists which were slightly bloody. He picked them up and observed them before looking back at me but I could hardly see him as my eyes were so glossy.

"Jodie told me what day it was. I'm so sorry I didn't know." He stated as he slid down the wall next to me, not letting go of my hands.

I shook my head but no words came out. "Come here." He spoke so softly as he pulled me into a sideways hug. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him. I buried my head into his chest as the tears followed. I cried into his chest as the tears kept on coming, they were uncontrollable. I wrapped my arms around him and clutched the back of his t-shirt with my fists.

"I just miss her so much." I sniffled as I cried harder.

"Its ok." He whispered, gently stroking my hair. "Let it all out."

I wrapped my arms around him even tighter as I thought about everything that was making me cry.

The fact that I missed my mum so badly it physically hurt.

The thought that Amber would never leave me the fuck alone and was always getting to me no matter how hard I tried to not let her.

The fear of getting expelled as I just punched someone in the face repeatedly in the toilets and it would be 4 against 1.

And then there was falling so hard for someone who would only ever see me as just a friend.

But that last one wasn't bothering me right now as I cried into his arms. He was there for me and that's what mattered but that didn't do anything but contribute to my already fucked up emotions.

"Hey." He spoke ever so softly, his usual voice barely recognisable. "Remember when Jake was going on about the Christmas of 2013 back on Christmas eve."

I nodded into his chest.

He chuckled as he continued to stroke my hair, running his fingers through the strands. "Well, mine and Jake's mum have always got along and are pretty much best friends, and as Peter had recently been put in prison we decided to spend Christmas at Jake's house. Jake's mum cooked us up an amazing meal but little did she know I was allergic to garlic."

Reece then sighed and I could feel his erratic heart beat against my face as it was buried in his chest. "There was garlic in the turkey and I ate a lot of it, and I mean a lot." He emphasised. "In the evening, I started to get a huge stomach ache so I went to the toilet and I had explosive diarrhoea in the downstairs toilet. It didn't stop for hours as I stunk out the entire house."

I burst out laughing into his chest and I could feel his chest rise up and down softly from laughing too. I looked up at him as the pad of his thumb wiped away my tears. "That sounds rough." I replied, in-between fits of laughter.

"Yeah." Reece grimaced. "Jake has never let me live it down. To this day our mums still call it the brown Christmas of 2013." He chuckled lightly as his eyes bored into mine. He then picked up my wrists once again and stroked the cut with his thumb.

"I came out to look for you and saw you running, what happened?" He asked, his eyes not leaving mine.

"Amber happened." I sighed and his jaw clenched. "They were already in the bathroom and she started being a bitch like usual but then she mentioned my mum and I just snapped."

I closed my eyes for a brief second before opening them again. "Am I going to get expelled?"

Reece shook his head with a light smile. "I'm not gonna let that happen."

"But its 4 against 1. They're just going to say I beat her up for no reason."

His eyes widened. "4?"

I nodded. "Brad stood at the door to stop me from leaving and if he hadn't of pulled me off her I don't know what would have happened." I shakily said. "I couldn't stop punching her."

Reece nodded in understanding, stroking my knuckles "What did you do when he pulled you off her?"

I gave him a sheepish smile. "I head-butted him and elbowed him in the nuts."

Reece smiled widely at this as his eyes twinkled with amusement. "That's my girl." He grinned and stood up, helping me up.

"Come on, they're probably already talking to the principal."