the whole 3 hours designing, she finally done. She was finally satisfied with her own gown that was designed by her. Looking at those elegant decorations that was put on the gown, she grinned in satisfaction.

"It's done! " she gave herself a clap and blew the paper softly. She knows that she needed to show this to Jimin because she wanted him to give his opinion on her work. Plus, she was so excited to hear what he thinks about her designs.

"He needs to love it as much as I love it " she said to herself and woke up from her seat. She couldn't deny that her back was hurt since she sat on the desk for 3 hours. Non stop without any rest. She was trained to be committed to her works. She won't ever leave her design unfinished. At least, if she was too tired, she'll make another sketch of her ideas. So that she will still remember what she needs to do.

She pushed the back of her waist with both her hands to the front. Doing a body stretch out would somehow helps her to feel better.

Then, she took her sketchbook and excitedly went to Jimin's room, forgetting the fact that her body was still tired and exhausted from working for non stop. But, nothing could beat the her excitement. Everyone will get stronger when they're excited.

She walked to the room that was located just beside hers and opened the door without knocking. She was just excited that she didn't even think of knocking the door before entering.

As she stepped into Jimin's room, her eyes went wild to search for the figure she wanted to meet; Jimin. She turned to the left and right but there was no sign of him. She thought he wasn't in his room and was about to walk out. But not when her eyes spotted a man's shadow at the balcony. She was confident that the shadow was Jimin's.

Shrugging her shoulders, she made her way to the balcony. As usual, she'll be peeking on him first before approaching him. She didn't want to distract him if he was doing his works. Because Uncle Seon once tell her that Jimin hates distractions while doing work.

Her eyes were secretly looking at what he was doing. Then, her eyes grew wide in admiration.

His veiny hands were a bit painty as he moved the brush up and down. Jimin was having some privacy time to paint. Aera could tell that he just started drawing a few minutes ago since the paper still had many spaces on it.

Gently, he put a black paint on his brush and brushed it against the thick paper. His hands were moving naturally as he was thinking about something. Aera was confused because all the colors he used to paint the painting were all dark. There was no bright colors on his painting plate.

But she didn't questioning it because she knows that Jimin loves dark more than bright. She can see it by herself when she gets into his room. Almost all things in the room were black and grey. It was his character after all. She has no right to change him. She wants him to be himself and do anything he wants. There's nothing could block him.

Her heart started to feel like wanting to see his painting. But she knows he would stop drawing if she interrupts him so she decided to stay quiet and watched him from his bed. Her head turned to the right and saw his desk which she found it was the perfect place to keep her gown sketch. She put her sketchbook on the desk and comfortably sit on Jimin's bed while waiting for him to finish painting.

-

Aera didn't realize that she had fallen asleep while waiting Jimin to finish his painting. Maybe she was fatigued so she fell asleep so easily.

But a sound of someone sniffling woke her up from her quick nap. Wanting to know where was the sound came from, she opened her eyes and did a body stretching. Then, she looked at her surroundings and realized that it was Jimin's room. Not hers. She tried to remember what she was doing in his room and remembered that she wanted to see Jimin's painting.

She squinted her eyes softly and looked at the balcony where Jimin was sitting on the chair with his hair messed up. He looked terrible for some reason. Gasping at her point of view, she took a closer look to see if Jimin was really having a breakdown. Because his face was wet and so did his hair.

Slowly, she took a few steps to him.

"Jimin? " she called his name and hurriedly sat across him when she saw he was crying alone. The boy across her avoided from making any eye contact as he turned away from her. He thought he was alone.

"What are you doing in my room? " he asked, wiping his tears quietly.

"It doesn't matter. Tell me why are you crying? " she cut his question. She was worried if something was bothering him. Do you still remember when Jimin went out of control? He destroyed almost everything that was in front him. Including the mirror. So that scares her the most.

"Jimin. Answer me " she said strictly, forcing him to make eye contact with her. But it didn't work. He stood up from his seat and walked away from her.

"Jimin " she tried to chase him but he locked himself in another room.

[ ( ) if you still remember. ]

She stopped her steps and stared at the door. Yes, she has seen this room many times but she never thinks of asking him about this room. It was mysterious since it was locked and Jimin never allows her to enter the room. But now, she started to wonder, what's the function of this room? Is there's anything he was hiding from her? No one knows.

"Jimin, please open the door. " she tried to persuade him. But he didn't respond to her. She heaved a sigh as she started to give up. She knows Jimin doesn't like of getting forced. So in that case, she won't force him to open the door if he doesn't want to.

Exhaling a deep breath, she forced her heavy heart to leave his room as she knows he needed a privacy time. A moment for himself to be exact.

"I'll just see you when you're fine then. Hope you're okay. " she mumbled while looking at the door with a weak smile. It was a forced smile actually. It was hard for her to smile knowing that Jimin is hurting alone in the room, without her. The fact that she couldn't be with him through this hard time, breaks her heart. Looking down at the floor, she walked out from his room and closed the door behind her.

Blank.

That's the word to describe how I was feeling right now. The feeling of my head aching was so hurt. I couldn't even feel my fingers.

Groaning at the aches, I opened my eyes and slammed the floor with my left hand. My sight was blurred caused by my hurting head. I slapped my face several times, forcing myself to realize what I was doing. When I confident that I could control my own self, I held the wall beside me to help me standing up.

My eyes automatically made its way to look at my arms and waist that was full with wounds and bruises. Dammit, I went through a very tough time-

Gladly Aera didn't see it since I locked the door. She can't see me in that worst condition. She would be afraid and full of fear. As I always do.

I looked around the room to see if I had destroyed anything this time. Well, I usually do when I went out of control. Even myself isn't sure if I was out of control or possessed by a monster that was hiding in my inner self. I had changed to a different person. Yet, the monsters are still hunting to get my soul again. I'm not sure what it was.

When I said monster, it doesn't mean that I was talking about a real monster. But the monster I'm talking about is the darkness that had been living in my heart for a very long time. And it refuses to get out from it. I tried to love, but it forces me to hate instead of loving.

Shaking my head, I went to the desk that was placed right on the corner. I took the key on the desk and started unlocking it so that I can take the thing I wanted. It was a small soft blue box that I bought years ago. The box was already old but it still looks fine and good to be used for next few years. Or maybe decades. If I'm still alive- duh.

After opening the box, I put my hand into it until I reached a piece of picture. I looked down at the picture I was holding and a smile crept on my face as I adored the face of the 13 years old girl.

"You're still cute and grew up even cuter. " I mumbled as I softly caressed her photo with my thumb. I adored her so much that I sometimes lost my controls. I sighed and put the picture back in the box so that I could keep it safe. I stood up and locked it back in the desk. Since no one has ever enter this room, I'm pretty sure that all my stuffs will be safely kept here.

Making sure there was no one in my room before I got out, I stepped out from my secret room. Gently, I turned my head to right and left then locked the door using the key I was holding in my hand. My room was totally quiet and the atmosphere just filled by my absence and breath.

When my eyes suddenly landed on the painting I painted a few hours ago, I suddenly remembered about Aera. She said she wanted to see my painting when it's done but I ran away and locked myself in the room. She must be upset because of me. I ignored her without explaining what was happening.

I walked to the balcony to take the painting I had done to show it to her. But suddenly, I spotted a sketchbook that was put on my desk, right beside the balcony. I was curious because I know that it doesn't belong to me. Or maybe it's Aera's book? Well, she's a designer so there's some possibilities that the sketchbook belongs to her. Without thinking any further, I took the book and hold it up right in front my face. The book looked simple but elegant. My fingertips started to get eager as it couldn't wait any longer to open it. As I was about to open the pages, Aera was already standing behind me with her arms crossed.

"What are you doing with my sketchbook?" she asked, a slight madness was shown on her pretty face. I gulped down and turned my heel to the back so that I could face her. "You left it here. So I just wanted to check it out. " I answered casually as my breath went more stable than before. She scoffed and took the book away from me. "You should've ask me first before opening it. Have some manners please " she rolled her eyes at me.

I furrowed my eyebrows and I looked at her pouting face. "So you're mad at me? " I asked even I had known the answer already. Just played along with her flow. She turned away and licked her dry lips. "I'm not here to argue with you. Jungkook is here, he wants to meet you " she finished her sentence and my eyes grew slightly wide after hearing Jungkook's name. He hadn't visiting me for a while now.

"He's here? To meet me? " I asked. I was truly excited to meet him but my inner self didn't like it. Why? Because he knows the truth.

He knows the story behind me-

That thing scares me the most. I hope he didn't say anything to Aera when I wasn't around. Because if he did, I'm dead.

"What are you waiting for? He's downstairs. Don't let him wait too long. " Aera said but at the same time, she wanted me to know that she was mad at me because she raised her note a bit. Her sharp sarcastic eyes were looking at me as I nodded my head slowly. "Alright then. I'll meet him now. Thank you for calling me. " I said and walked past her. My heart was beating fast but not too fast. I was worried but at the same time, I didn't. Because I know I can trust Jungkook. He won't leak my biggest secret to anyone.

Heaving a deep sigh, I made my way to the living room where Jungkook was waiting for me.

•••

I need to write a longer chapter starting now because I want this book to just have 45 chapters. I don't want my book to reach 50 chaps because I find it uninteresting. Don't blame me for thinking like that. I just find it kinda annoying :p

btw, have a nice day everyone.