eyes snapped open. he was covered in a cold sweat. his heart pounded against his ribcage at an alarming rate. his fingers trembled as he sat upright on the bed.

namjoon had never forgotten his first kill. it stayed lodged in his heart as a deep wound.

he turned his head, glancing at everything present in his room. he rubbed his eyes, shivering from the distant memory.

"i'm sorry, kookie," he mumbled, "i didn't want to do it."

haru's eyes fluttered open at the sudden jostling of the bed.

"what the fuck do you want now?" she mumbled groggily.

haru turned her head towards the black haired man. she noticed him trembling. her eyes softened. she noticed how the man beside her trembled. haru knew namjoon had a nightmare. she had experienced her fair share of them.

haru sat upright on the bed. she moved right next to namjoon.

"hey." she gently rested her hand on his shoulder, "what happened."

haru didn't know what washed over her. in her right mind she wouldn't be talking to namjoon. however, she felt the pain he did. she saw herself waking up in a cold sweat, longing for someone to listen to her, someone to ease her sorrows.

namjoon didn't hear haru. her words slipped past his ears.

haru tapped his shoulder again with the lightest touch.

"namjoon?" her voice was soft, "you can talk to me if you'd like."

namjoon didn't know what to expect at haru's sudden kindness.

his voice shook. his fingers still trembled. he felt as if it all had happened again. he saw the same chocolate brown eyes that filled with tears.

namjoon's throat turned dry. he stared into his hands, now filled with a stain of red.

"namjoon." uncle jeon's voice wavered, "take jungkook with you and leave."

uncle jeon struggled to breath. his breaths came in short gasps.

namjoon's eyes welled with tears. the dagger in his hands was now painted in blood red. the blood of his best friend's father.

"i'm sorry." namjoon chanted.

he didn't know who he was chanting it to. he didn't know if he felt sorry for himself, or jungkook or even his father. he felt sorry for all of them. most of all, he was mad at himself for falling into a trap perfectly set up by his father.

"namjoon." uncle jeon choked out with his last breaths, "tell jungkook i love him.

uncle jeon pointed towards his heart, "i'll always be with him."

namjoon couldn't take it any longer. once the first tear broke free, the rest escaped like a flowing waterfall.

he held uncle jeon in his arms. the blood soaked his white shirt, tainting it in a dark shade of red.

what would he say to jungkook?

uncle jeon had always been more of a father figure to him than his own father.

"namjoon." uncle jeon croaked out, "please leave with jungkook."

"don't wait here for me. my times almost up."

namjoon looked towards uncle jeon. loud violent coughs escaped him.

"namjoon-"

the twinkle in uncle jeon's floated away. the chocolate brown in his eyes dulled. uncle jeon's body went still.

namjoon's eyes welled up with tears without his knowledge.

haru's eyes softened as she noticed the tears brimming in namjoons eyes. he had always seemed so unbreakable and tough to her. this side of him reminded her of herself.

"namjoon?" her voice was silky, "can i hug you?"

namjoon didn't say anything, but deep inside haru knew he needed a hug. she had always longed for a hug when she woke up trembling from her past memories.

haru's arms wrapped around namjoon, swallowing him in an affectionate hug. every second felt like an hour to them.

namjoon's arms were glued to the side as haru embraced him. he didn't want her sudden warmth to leave him. he wanted to stay in her embrace for a bit longer.

haru removed her arms from namjoon. namjoon didn't speak.

"thank you." namjoon mumbled.

haru smiled as she saw the small dimples forming in namjoon's cheeks.

"it's alright." she chuckled, "i've experienced too many of them."

"it seems like it's all happening again doesn't it?"

namjoon turned towards her, a small smile graced his face, "it's like you're reliving the distant memory."

namjoon got up from the bed, he reached towards the door. haru followed behind him, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"where are you going?" she looked at the clock, "it's 4 am."

"i'm going to see kookie."

haru tilted her head, "cookie?"

"jungkook."

the door creaked as namjoon opened it. haru followed namjoon, she didn't want him to get hurt.

haru's foot caught on the small lip in the wood as she raced behind him. it prevented her from taking the next step. her life flashed before her eyes. she didn't know what had happened till she was almost halfway towards the floor.

"be careful." namjoon caught her by the waist.

namjoon's face was too close to hers. a light pink tint rose on her face. she stood up straight, dusting her clothes. she looked away from him as the pink tint grew brighter.

namjoon opened the door where jungkook and hoseok rested. he stumbled inside, finding a seat. haru sat right next to him.

namjoon focused on the brown haired boy resting. he stared into jungkook's chocolate brown eyes.

"do you think he forgave me?"

haru didn't know what namjoon had done, but she was sure that jungkook forgave him. she might have hated namjoon, but she knew he had a kind heart.

"i'm sure he forgave you. we all make mistakes, don't we."

haru turned her head towards namjoon, meeting his eyes.

"but it's up to you." she paused, "to better yourself from them."

the room became silent. time had seemed to stop. it seemed like it was just them in this room.

namjoon chuckled, breaking the soft silence.

"i guess you're right."

haru rested her head on namjoon's shoulder. she was sleepy. namjoon didn't have enough energy left in him to remove her head off his shoulder.

sleep overtook them like a rising wave.