Benji and I were currently sat outside, waiting for John's surgery to be completed. The doctor was able to give me details of his injury since I was supposedly his sister, and it was not looking good. Three broken ribs, one had punctured his lung, a concussion and sprained ankle along with various other bruises.

I couldn't help but feel an insane amount of guilt. If I'd agreed to help him, this wouldn't have happened.

As if he knew what I was thinking, Benji's grip tightened on my hand, a silent reassurance that he was here. I would have been helpless without him.

Thirty minutes turned into an hour, and soon time blended into itself as we stayed sat in the same position. Nurses and patients passed in front of us, the hospital buzzing with energy as we stayed unmoving.

My gaze was fixed on the pristine white wall opposite when Benji stretched and stood up. He looked down at me. "I'm going to the canteen, want to come with?"

I silently shook my head.

"Alright, I'll get you something." He said and walked off, passing the receptionists desks. I rubbed my eyes and squinted when I saw two familiar figures talking to the receptionist.

Before I knew what was happening, my feet carried my over to their direction and I intercepted their movement towards where I was sitting.

"You have a lot of nerve showing up here." I told Cyrus and Ian in a low voice, my words accompanied with a hard glare.

I had to hand it to them; they looked vaguely concerned about John. Ian's blonde curls were a mess and he looked like he threw on the first clothes he saw. Cyrus looked better but there were dark circles underneath his eyes. Cyrus sighed and pulled someone closer to him. I was shocked to see it was Maisie, my former best friend. She looked pretty stressed as well.

I thought back to the days where my biggest problem was Maisie dating John and hiding it from me. Now my best friend could lose his life because of the people standing in front of me.

"We're not allowed to see how our friend is doing?" Cyrus questioned, frowning slightly. I could see the challenge in his eyes.

"Not if you are the reason he's here in the first place." I shot back and his eyes narrowed.

"I don't think you know what you're talking about, Chloe." The warning was clear in his voice. I was far beyond caring.

"I know more than you think." I stepped forward, staring up at him with my fists clenched. Cyrus glanced down at them and smirked slightly.

"You gonna punch me or something?" He taunted.

"Unlike you, I don't like getting my hands dirty."

Ian decided to intervene. "Chloe, do you know how he is doing?"

I turned to him, the intensity of my glare not lessening. "Ask a doctor if you care so much."

"They won't tell us anything cos we're not family." Maisie told me quietly.

I shrugged. "Sounds like a you problem."

Ian ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I know you think we're evil people and horrible friends to John, but he did this on his own accord, alright? We didn't force him to get hurt."

"You made him chose between breaking my heart or going on the bet, and when he chose to be a decent human being you didn't cut him any slack."

"It's wasn't break Chloe's heart or go on the ambush." Ian replied. "It was break her heart so you don't go on the ambush."

I scoffed, crossing my arms. "Look, I really don't care. My opinion on you guys is set in stone. All I know is John is better off without you guys in his life, so if you care as much as you claimed, do him a favour and get lost."

With that I turned on my heels and headed back to my seat, feeling their burning gaze on me. I picked up a random celebrity magazine while waiting for Benji to come back, skimming over its contents.

Jax Summerz is rumoured to join the popular band Please Stand By!

My eyebrows raised at the headline as they were one of my favourite bands and I became engrossed in the article. A couple minutes later Benji arrived with a coffee and snack for me which I took thankfully.

We waited another half hour before Doctor Smith came with some news.

"How is he?" I asked anxiously, standing at her arrival. I couldn't read her facial expression.

"John is in a stable condition right now, the wounds were not fatal." I breathed in relief at that. "He is currently unconscious but you can come and see him for a couple minutes if you would like to."

I nodded, following her to where he was. I slowly entered the white room, my eyes fixed on John who layed still on the bed. He was sporting a bruised lip, black eye and his left arm had a wound dressing.

But he was alive.

"I'm so glad you're okay." I whispered, holding back tears. I gently held his limp hand, enclosing it in mine.

I stood like that for a couple minutes before commotion outside caught my attention.

"I am allowed to see my son, am I not?"

"You can ma'am, as soon as you calm down."

"I'm perfectly calm, but I will not be if you continue to stand in my way."

"Ma'am, please-"

The door to the room I was in banged open and I jumped, staring at the entrance. In the doorway stood a woman I hadn't seen for years but could never forget.

Everything about her was dark, the clothes on her body, the colour of her stringy hair and the look in her eyes as she surveyed me. Her face arranged itself into an unpleasant sneer.

"You."

"Mrs Allen." I greeted John's mum shakily. A nurse appeared behind her, looking disgruntled.

"Ma'am, could you please wait outside so this young woman can see her brother."

Mrs Allen's expression shifted to one of amusement. "Her brother?"

"It's okay, I've seen him." I quickly interrupted, not wanting to be caught in my life. I avoided her piercing stare as I walked towards her to exit the room.

Before I could leave her hand enclosed my wrist in a tight grip. "I do not want to see you here when John wakes up."

I met her gaze evenly. I'd been through far too much because of John and with him to abandon him.

"Don't hold your breath." I responded seriously. Her eyebrows rose in surprise and I shook my wrist away, leaving the room.

*****

Benji and I eventually had to leave as it was getting late and our parents were worried. We waited outside for our separate cabs. The sky was a dark and uninviting colour, void of stars but neighbouring houses donned bright Christmas lights.

Benji followed my gaze and offered a small smile. "Merry Christmas... and happy birthday."

I kissed his cheek as a thank you. "I won't ever forget this birthday." I said humorously.

"I could give you one of your presents now if you wanted?"

I stared at him in surprise. "You have them on you?"

Benji nodded. "I was planning to give it to you at the party because I thought we would be there until late."

"Okay." I agreed excitedly, my mood higher than it had been for the past few hours. He pulled out a small black box and handed it to me. I opened it to reveal a golden bracelet. I smiled, hugging Benji immediately.

"Thank you, it's beautiful." I told him earnestly. He smiled back; helping me put it on my wrist.

Upon further instruction I realised things were attached to the bracelet. "What do they mean?" I asked.

"The number three is for us almost kissing twice, and then on the third try we finally did. The heart is because you have mine. And the ring is for when hopefully in the future, we can take our relationship to the next stage. So a promise ring, kind of." Benji shrugged, trying to tone down the meaning of his words.

I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him close. My heart was beating fast and I couldn't stop smiling. This was the most thoughtful gift I'd ever received, and it made me realise something I'd already known for a long time.

"I love you, Benjamin."

He'd changed my life for the better. After Dave and Australia I'd viewed myself as tainted and felt like a part of me had been damaged but Benji made me realise that was not the case. Through thick and thin he'd been there with me even if it didn't suit him. How could I not love him?

"You don't have to say it back." I told him when he stared at me in shock. "I just wanted you to know."

"I love you too, Chloe."

I never knew those four words could fill me with such elation. I reached up and pressed my lips to his, the world around us fading away.

When I got home I was surprised to see a car parked in our driveway, then I realised it was Amber's. I attempted to sneak in but was swiftly caught by my mum.

"Chloe, it's almost one am. Where have you been?" She asked with a disapproving frown, blocking the way to my room.

I quickly summarised where I was and was let off the hook. "Is Amber here?"

My mum nodded, leading us up the staircase. "Yeah, but Joe has the kids and is spending Christmas with his parents."

"What?" I asked, shocked. Amber had never spent a Christmas apart from her children.

My mum shrugged, yawning. "She won't tell me but I think something happened between them. They'll be here for New Years, though."

"Oh." My mind immediately flew to the worst case scenario. What if Amber had found out Joe was keeping my secret for me?

"Good night sweetie and happy birthday." My mum said before entering her room.

I tried my best to sleep, but even after the night I'd had, it didn't come. Before I knew it my room was filled with light from the morning sun and Christmas music was playing downstairs.

I got ready for the day, wearing the Christmas jumper Mum had laid out and putting a bit more effort into my appearance seeing as it was my 18th birthday. I couldn't help but glance over at my phone every few minutes, hoping for a call about John's condition. I didn't want to visit in case his mum was there.

When I arrived in the living room I immediately rushed over and hugged Amber. With how much stuff that had happened in my life the last couple months I'd forgotten about her and felt bad.

"It feels like I haven't seen you in ages!" I exclaimed, taking in her warm brown eyes and shoulder length hair-wait, shoulder length?

"You cut your hair?"

Amber gave me a sarcastic smile. "Evidently." I shoved her shoulder gently.

"Come on; let's go help mum with breakfast. She's making pancakes for you."

"Yes!"

We spent the morning in our usual routine, the one we had formed over the years when Amber still lived with us. Pancakes and bacon for breakfast, followed by opening of presents, cheesy Christmas movies and games before dinner.

I was setting up Monopoly at the table in the afternoon when Amber's phone started ringing. She was sat opposite me so I saw it was Joe calling. I watched as Amber huffed in an annoyed manner but answered the call.

"Hey. How are the kids? No, I can't talk right now. Joe, I'm helping mum with dinner so I'm busy. Look, you'll get back on Monday so we can talk then. Bye." She hung up and practically slammed the phone on the table.

"What was that about?" I dared to ask quietly. Her brown eyes met mine and she was clearly distressed.

"We're just going through some stuff, nothing to worry about."

I fixed her with a hard look. "Amber, I'm not a kid. You don't have to protect me from the truth."

"Alright." She conceded. "I just get the feeling that he's hiding something from me. That he has been for a while now. I try to ignore that feeling but the other day he was texting on his phone and acting all secretive about it. So I wanted to go through his texts and call log but he started freaking out." She explained and my heart dropped.

Maybe Joe freaked out because he knew Amber would see my call to him. It wasn't long ago so she could have come across it.

"So we had a really bad argument where he admitted he was hiding something but it wasn't his place to say anything. Like, what? And now I can't spend Christmas with my children because I'll probably burst into tears every time I'm around him." Amber finished, running a hand through her hair.

I was barely listening to her, trying to gather the courage to finally tell her about Australia. There was a small chance Joe was hiding something else from her but I wasn't willing to take the risk. Amber deserved to know, no matter how much it pained me to tell her.

"It's not his place to say anything." I started quietly and she looked up at me, confused. "Because it's mine."

Amber started to smile but stopped upon seeing my serious expression. "Chloe, what are you talking about?"

"Dave and mum didn't break up because they didn't work out." I felt like I was about to vomit. Might as well rip the plaster off. "They broke up because he molested me."

I hurried to fill the stunned silence. "That's why we left Australia, and that's why I've never been the same since. I was taking care of Hugo a couple weeks after we came back and I must have started freaking out. Joe came to pick Hugo up and was scared and confused when he saw me so I told him in simple terms what had happened. I begged him and mum not to tell you..." I trailed off when I noticed her eyes were filled with tears.

"Dave, he... he touched you?" Amber asked in a whisper. I nodded, ignoring the lump in my throat.

"How many times?"

"Only once. He was drunk and said he thought I was my mum. He felt really horrible and promised not to do it again-"

"Stop defending him." Amber cut in. "Well, is he in jail?"

"Mum's sorting that out. It's complicated because I waited long to tell her." I explained, still on edge. I wished she would yell at me not stare at me with a heartbroken expression.

"I can't believe..."

"Amber, please don't be angry at Joe or mum. They wanted to say something but I literally begged them not to. It's not their fault, it's mine."

"But why? I'm your sister, Chloe. Why wouldn't you tell me about this?" She asked, tears freely running down her face. I looked away, ashamed.

"I didn't want you to see me differently." Saying it now, out loud to her, I realised how much of a silly excuse it was.

"I felt... different after him. Damaged, broken, unworthy. Tainted. I didn't want you to see me like that and I didn't want you to treat me like I was fragile, even though I felt it. I was in a really dark place after Dave; I couldn't even say his name without crying. After it happened, because I didn't say anything we still lived with him for a couple of weeks. Those were the worst weeks of my life."

I was about to tell Amber what I hadn't told a single soul, even refusing to acknowledge it myself. "Amber... I didn't want to live anymore."

I burst out crying and covered my face with my hands. My shoulders shook with the intensity of my sobs. I heard a chair scraping back and soon felt Amber's warm embrace.

Once I calmed down I looked up at her. "I am so sorry for not telling you."

"No, I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't. I must have done something wrong at some point for you to feel like I'd judge you or see you differently." She tried to reassure me but it made me feel worse.

"No, no. It's just... I've always looked up to you a lot. You're my big sister, you know? In my head it's always been me and you against the world. You are practically perfect in my eyes. So it was hard for me to... expose that side of myself to you when I think you are amazing."

She frowned. "What side of you?"

I looked down at my hands. "Like I said a damaged side. A suicidal side. I've come a long way from feeling like that, don't worry. But at the time, it felt like I couldn't move on from what happened, let alone tell you."

She kissed me cheek fondly, something I'd usually complain about but didn't mind this time. "I'm glad you have told me."

"You're not angry I kept it from you?"

"Of course not." Amber said. "I'm more so angry at myself for not realising something had happened in Australia. There I was going on about how it's a shame that pig of a man and mum didn't work out while you were suffering in silence. Joe has always said I'm too oblivious." She cracked a small smile that was more sad than happy.

"Will you work things out with him? Please don't be mad at him, Amber."

She sighed. "I don't know, Chloe. On one hand I admire how he kept that promise to you and I am glad he was there for you. On the other... he should have told me, Chloe. We're husband and wife, we don't keep secrets. Especially about my sister."

"Amber." I started seriously. "When he mentioned telling you I got down on my knees and begged him. I was crying so hard. I think I threatened to run away. Please keep this in mind."

She looked conflicted but nodded. "Okay. I love you, Chloe. Nothing could ever change that, okay?"

"I love you too." I murmured, hugging her. I felt the guilt and shame I'd been carrying around all this time fade away. If I knew I would feel this relived I'd have told her earlier. We heard the kitchen door open and my mum appeared with a grin on her face.

"Who's ready for some Monopoly- oh dear, what's happened?"

Amber and I exchanged a glance and laughed heartily.

*****