Hands shaking and rain pounding on me, I brought out my phone. I squinted, the brightness of the screen hurting my sensitive eyes.

After calming myself down I'd hurriedly left the neighbourhood, knowing the longer I stayed the more likely I was to face some sort of danger. I was sitting on a bench not too far away, scrolling through my contacts.

I was too weak to walk home, feeling physically and mentally drained. My mind was a storm of negativity after what I'd overheard and my body felt like it was in shut down mode.

I was so tired.

I wiped my screen on my soaked jacket, pondering on who to call. Most of my friends were out of the question, I was close with them but not tight enough to randomly call them for a ride.

Well, apart from one.

Brown eyes and a dimpled smile flashed in my mind, calming me down immediately. Benji would help me...

I shook my head. I didn't want him to see me like this, and I'd have to explain what had happened. I needed someone who wouldn't ask questions.

I sat up when it occurred to me.

Joe. My brother in law.

I hated to add to the pile of secrets he was keeping for me, but I had no choice. Joe wasn't the best at comforting, but he knew when to keep quiet and listen, which was exactly what I needed.

I pressed my screen, holding the phone to my ear as I shivered. I looked around, suddenly hyper aware of my surroundings.

It wasn't even six in the evening yet it was pitch black already. Cars zoomed past on the road in front of me but apart from that I was utterly alone.

I sighed, forcing myself to stand up. As I did I heard Joe's voice in my ear.

"Hey, Blondie." He greeted fondly. I felt myself smile slightly at the nickname. It was self-explanatory.

"Hey, are you busy right now?" I asked quietly as I attempted to start walking. My legs were shaking but I pushed on.

"Terribly, but what's up? I guess I can spare a second." Joe teased. I let out a shaky breath.

"Um, could you please come and pick me up?" I asked timidly. He sharply inhaled and I braced myself.

"You're outside?" He exclaimed. "Chloe, it's practically a storm out there! Where are you?"

I cleared my throat. "I'm close to Blackjack Avenue."

Silence.

Joe had been our neighbour for some time, so he was familiar with the area. Meaning, he knew about the reputation of the neighbourhood I'd named.

"Get to the nearest store and wait there. Turn your data on so I can track your location. And do not hang up." He commanded quietly, sounding extremely pissed off.

"Ok. I'm going to put my phone in my pocket though because my hand is cold." I said quietly. He sighed sharply.

"Of course she's not wearing gloves." I heard Joe mutter. "Let me guess, you don't have a jacket? Or better yet, you're actually wearing a bikini?"

"I'm covered up, Joe."

"I'm covered up, Joe." He mimicked in a high pitch voice. I heard him open a car door so I picked up my pace.

"I'm driving now. Jog to a store, the rain is terrible." Joe told me and I complied, hanging up.

I ended up waiting in a small convenience store, huddled in the corner pretending to look at things. I was worried the owner was getting suspicious when my phone rang.

"I'm outside." Joe stated shortly and I practically ran out of the store, pulling up my jacket hood.

I spotted his car and entered, feeling immediate relief. His dark brown hair, warm green eyes and reassuring smile was a familiar and needed sight.

"Jeez, Chloe. You're soaked." He exclaimed, immediately turning up the heat. I looked down at my feet sheepishly.

"Sorry for getting your car wet." I said shivering and he rolled his eyes, staring to drive.

"Forget that, what happened to you? Why were you at that neighbourhood? Don't you know how dangerous it is?"

I sighed, resting my chin on my hands and staring out of the window. The light from the streetlamps illuminated the raindrops rolling down the window.

"Actually, warm clothes and some food will make you feel better. You can come back to mine-"

"No!" I cut him off in panic. Joe glanced at me in confusion. "I can't go to your house; Amber can't see me like this. You know how she is; she'll get worried and start asking questions. Questions I can't answer." I explained and Joe sighed.

"Lucky for you, Amber went to visit Selena. It's just me and the kids, and they're asleep right now." Joe responded and I sagged in relief.

I felt him glance at me a couple more times and I knew what he was thinking. You still haven't told Amber about Australia?

"I will tell her, one day." I spoke out loud, breaking the silence. "I'd just like to enjoy her not hating me for the time being."

"She won't hate you, you're her sister." Joe answered resolutely, his green eyes fierce. "But the longer you put it off, the more she may feel betrayed."

"And betrayal will lead to resentment, and then eventually progress into hate." I sighed. "And not just to me, or mum, but to you for keeping the secret too. That could cause tension in your marriage. And it all comes down to me. Therefore I'll prolong telling her for now."

Joe was quiet until we arrived at his house. I looked at him when he stopped the car and held my hand, watching me earnestly.

"Chloe, you're underestimating Amber's love for you. She practically raised you. Amber may feel many things towards you, some negative and some positive, but the conquering one will always be love."

I felt myself tear up as I hung onto his every word. I desperately hoped he was right.

"I just don't want to ruin your marriage... I just don't want her to hate me." I repeated in a whisper, looking down. Joe smiled wryly.

"Amber and I, we're forever. No need to worry about that." He told me, love clear in his eyes. "And that's the same for you guys. There's no pressure, tell her when you're ready. But don't let fear hold you back, you've been through too much to let something as measly as that do so."

It was amazing how his words made me feel much better.

"Wow, when did you get so good at comforting?" I teased, nudging him and he grinned.

"Having children teaches you a thing or two. When they cry you can't just stare at them, apparently. Needy little things." Joe replied and I laughed.

We exited the car and entered the house, where Joe immediately prepared a shower for me and clothes to change into.

After showering and changing I stared at myself in the foggy mirror, knowing what was coming. After eating I knew Joe would interrogate me. He was just holding back because I'd looked like a drowned lamb at first.

"I made some lasagne, if you want any." Joe informed me quietly when I met him in the kitchen.

"Just a small portion, please." I responded and he nodded, warming it in the microwave.

For the next twenty minutes I ate, watching a random show on TV while Joe went to check on his kids. I would have loved to see them but I knew they would tell Amber I'd visited, which couldn't happen.

Once I was done, I waited for Joe to sit down before informing him about everything. Everything to do with John specially, including his evasive behaviour, his friends and our eventual truce, which was all a lie. Then what I'd heard that evening.

I felt detached as I was telling the story. I could hear myself talk but it felt like no words were leaving my mouth. No anger, no sadness, just indifference. I concluded I was too mentally drained to give any more of a reaction. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

Joe on the other hand went through an emotional rollercoaster. Shocked, furious, sympathetic, everything. But I wasn't expecting what he told me next.

"Chloe, I'm so sorry." Joe told me remorsefully, digging his hands in his head.

"Um, it's alright?"

"No, you don't understand." Joe continued, looking truly pained. He couldn't meet my eyes. "I knew where John was when he disappeared. In fact, I helped him do so."

"What?"

John and Joe had always been close, as when John was younger Joe's mum baby-sitted him. They were practically brothers; John had always looked up to him. I wasn't aware they'd kept in contact after I'd left, but it appeared so.

"Yeah." Joe sighed, leaning into the couch and looking ahead. "He'd contacted me out of the blue. Said he felt suffocated and like he was about to lose it." Joe's green eyes locked with mine. "Chloe, the guy sounded like he was going mental."

"And now I know why." I seethed, sitting up. "The guilt of the bet was eating him up. He'd just found out about Australia then realised what he was doing to me." I shook my head. John had never been good at letting his emotions out in a healthy way.

Joe continued. "But he didn't say any of that. Just mentioned his mum, how they'd got into a massive disagreement and he'd rather be homeless than live with her anymore. I asked about his dad but he was out of the picture. I knew John couldn't stay with us, it wouldn't be convenient. So I contacted one of my friends who works with hotels and was able to get a good deal for John, so he could stay at one until he felt better."

"If I'd known what was actually going on, I would have spoken sense to him. Trust me." Joe finished, shaking his head.

"I would have too." I agreed quietly, staring at the fireplace in front of us. The gentle light glowed on their family pictures. I stared at one of Amber and me grinning at each other and sat up in realisation.

"When is Amber getting back?" I asked Joe urgently. He looked startled at my sudden question.

"Um, like an hour or so. Why?"

"Why? I can't be here when she gets back. I need to leave now." I told him, tying my hair back.

"Well, you can't go home. I'm not comfortable with you being there alone for the night, since your mum is working." Joe retorted, frowning. "Do you have any friends you can stay with?"

I smiled shyly. "Well, there is one..."

*****

We pulled up to Benji's house thirty minutes later.

After a thorough interrogation about who Benji was and who he was to me, Joe complied and said we could hang out for the rest of the evening.

I'd called Benji to confirm and he seemed more than happy for me to come over, only he and Ada were at home as their family had gone to a relative's house. Benji and Ada had exams to revise for so were let off.

"Right, remember to text me before you go asleep, yeah? And in the morning." Joe said for probably the fifth time as I unbuckled my seat belt.

I rolled my eyes, chuckling. "Yes, Joe."

"And no funny business with this Bentley character, yeah?" He continued his face serious.

"Benjamin. Anything else, dad?"

"Stay safe." Joe finalised with a small smile. I nodded, leaning over to hug him.

"Thank you for everything." I said and he nodded so I left the car. Joe waited until I'd reached the front door before driving off.

I stared at the daunting wooden door. I had no clue why I was so nervous all of a sudden. Benji wouldn't pry if he saw I was uncomfortable, so that wasn't why.

Shaking off the nerves, I knocked twice. A couple seconds later the door opened to reveal Ada, clad in PJ's and a messy bun. But she somehow still looked like a model.

"Hey, Ada." I greeted with a smile which she returned.

"Hey, Chloe. Come in." She stepped back, allowing me to enter the familiar house. Ada locked the door as I removed my shoes.

"Benjamin told me you were coming over. He's just in his room, you remember where that is, yeah?" Ada asked and we walked towards the staircase.

I nodded and she shot me a thumbs up before heading towards the living room. I took a second to adjust the low bun my hair was in and apply lip balm before ascending the staircase.

I arrived at his bedroom. The door was closed so I knocked gently and entered when I heard his beckon.

"Hi..." I greeted timidly, shuffling into his room. Benji was bent over some notes at his desk, wearing a hoodie with the hood up. He looked up at the sound of my voice, shooting me a grin which made me knees shake.

"Hey." Benji responded, looking back down at the paper. "You good?"

"Evidently not. Sorry, I look like a mess." I chuckled, stuffing my hands in the pockets and observing his room.

Benji glanced at me, setting down his pen. "Yeah, you could have at least dressed up a bit since you were coming over to see me."

My mouth dropped open and I approached to shove him as he laughed. "Jerk. You look like a hermit so you can't speak."

"Oh, you thought wet hair looks cute on you?" Benji retorted.

I walked over to his mirror, bending over slightly to observe myself. "Yeah, it's a look. Just one not all of us can pull off, no need to be so jealous Benji." I shrugged and he shook his head, watching me.

"Whose clothes are you wearing anyway?" Benji asked, his tone no longer playful. I glanced at him with a small smile.

"My brother in law, Joe." I replied and he relaxed, spinning in his chair to face me. "You think I would show up to your house in another guys clothes?"

"Hopefully not." He muttered, throwing his pen in the air and catching it. "I would lose it otherwise."

"Cute." I remarked, heading over to his bed to take a seat. Benji watched me closely and I sighed, knowing our banterous conversation had come to an end.

"Not that I'm not thrilled about it, but why'd you come over?" He asked, moving closer on his chair. I avoided his eyes.

"I'll tell you, but promise to not get mad?" I asked.

"Nope." Benji responded calmly. "Since you said that I will most likely get mad. But I'll try to not react."

I made a face. "That's reassuring."

Benji leaned back in his seat, watching me expectantly. I shifted uncomfortably.

"Could you maybe sit next to me? You in front of me feels so formal." I asked and he smirked, rising from his seat.

"If you wanted to cuddle you could have just asked." Benjamin responded in a sing-song voice as he climbed on the other side of the bed.

"Did you take an extra dose of annoying with your cereal today or something?" I retorted and he chuckled, pulling me closer.

"Being annoying is my love language. You're gonna have to deal with it." Benji murmured with head on my shoulder. "So, story time."

"So, you know how John has been avoiding me," I started and I felt him nod. "I saw him after school when I was going to the grocery shop. So I followed him."

I felt Benji tense but thankfully he kept quiet.

"He ended up going to Blackjack Avenue and meeting with his friends, Cyrus and Ian-"

"Please don't tell me it's the Cyrus and Ian I'm thinking about." Benji interrupted quietly, his tone hard.

"Yeah..."

"Chloe..." He grumbled, sounding thoroughly angry.

"Please just let me finish, then you can freak out." I snapped. Benji scoffed.

"Sorry for reacting to you endangering your life, over John of all people." He said sharply, running a hand down his face.

"Do you want to hear what happened or not, Benjamin? I didn't come here for a lecture." I answered, crossing my arms and moving away from him. There was a pause before he sighed.

"Sorry." Benji murmured. I felt his gaze on the side of my face but refused to look at him or move closer.

"Chloe. I said I'm sorry, I won't interrupt. Don't be grumpy." Benji practically whined, pulling on my arm. I couldn't help but smile.

"Whatever." I shuffled closer and we resumed our former position. "Anyway, he met up with them. Cyrus asked where John had gone and why, and it was revealed John felt too much pressure and had to get away. I later found out what he felt pressure from."

I took a breath. "To cut the long story short, John had come up with a bet with them. He would make me fall in love with him then break my heart, or go on a dangerous ambush lead by their gang member. He of course chose the former option. This is why we became friends again in the first place. John had never actually forgiven me, but instead channelled his hate into a form of revenge."

I carried on. "However, John revealed he no longer wanted to carry out his side of the deal. I gathered it was because of the guilt he felt, as I'd told him about Australia. Cyrus warned him if he went on the ambush he wouldn't come back. John didn't care. After he left Cyrus and Ian were talking about him as if he was dead already... They were contemplating what made him go back on the bet. Ian proposed it was because he loved me..."

Benji sat up abruptly, his expression furious and lips in a tight line. "I'm sorry for interrupting, but he doesn't Chloe. That's not love."

"That's what Cyrus said." I added on quietly. "I know he doesn't, Benji. But... it's not like there's a true definition of love, right? It's subjective."

Benji's expression lifted slightly. "There is. Give me a second." He left the bed and roamed around on his desk, then came back with a book. At a closer look I saw it was the Bible.

Benji expertly flicked through the pages until he stopped at somewhere, then handed it to me. "Read here out loud." He ordered, and I followed where his finger was pointing.

I cleared my throat. "1 Corinthians 13, verse four."

"Wait. As you read, think back to every encounter with John. If his love is the same as the definition."

I nodded and started reading slowly.

"Love is patient and kind." "Yeah? Then why did you leave?" John screamed, his booming voice echoing in the room.

"Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way." John cut me off by sighing loudly and running a hand through his hair aggressively. "Why are we still talking about this? I said you can go with him if my company sucks so much!"

"It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged." "Of course I want a fucking explanation Chloe. I'd like to know what's so wrong with me for you to take my heart and crush it to pieces."

"It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

I handed the Bible back to Benji, my eyes watery and heart heavy.

"That's the definition of true love, Chloe. Pure love. Not what the world deems a love, which is lustful, conditional and painful. But what God deems as love. This is the same, unimaginable love that led Him to send Jesus, His only son, as a sacrifice for us. Even though we do nowhere close to deserve it." Benji told me earnestly.

"Now you know the definition, is John's 'love' in line with it?"

I shook my head.

"Humans are flawed creatures. We're not able to attain that level of perfection and love by our own power. But by living a Christ like life and through the grace of God we can. And there's also another thing, do you know what it is?" Benji asked me, his brown eyes calming.

"I'm not sure..."

"Effort." He answered. "We can't just magically expect to become perfect without putting any work in. John is not taking the active steps to become a better person, to let go of his resentment. This is why no matter how much he claims to love you, as long as that cloud of hate is present, that love is tainted and corrupt."