"Hi, Siri."

"Hello, Queen Champion Awesome Flabbatastic Amazeballs Chloe."

I was currently lying on my bed. I had nothing to do because I'd finished unpacking and I was so bored so I decided to talk to Siri.

"How are you?" I asked it.

"I feel good!" It replied. Or she.

"Sing me a song." I commanded.

"You wouldn't like it." It replied and I rolled my eyes.

"Sing me a song."

"You know, Queen Champion Awesome Flabbatastic Amazeballs Chloe, there's a reason why Apple didn't want me to sing at their music festivals."

That sass though. "Sing me a song, please!" I said, as if the 'please' would do anything.

"I'd rather not." Yeah, well, I didn't ask if you wanted to or didn't want to, woman! I asked for you to sing me a song!

"Sing me a song, please." I repeated, but it was too stubborn.

"You know I can't sing, Queen Champion Awesome Flabbatastic Amazeballs Chloe."

This went on for quite a while. I didn't know why I had to get Siri to 'sing' for me. It took about six times of me asking her to sing me a song, sometimes shouting, until it finally agreed.

"I could while away the hours, conferring with the flowers, consulting with the rain... And my head I'd be scratching, while my thoughts were busy hatching, if only I had a... hey wait a second!"

I laughed. I didn't really expect it/her to actually sing the song, but if she did, that would be truly awesome.

When I first got an iPhone, (Dave had bought it for me when me moved in with him) I wasn't really sure about Siri and all that, because firstly, what was the point of it? I mean, it was only one tap and you could open anything, why would you need Siri to do it for you?

Secondly, after watching movies about how Artificial Intelligence could take over the world or develop its own mind or something, I was a bit cautious. Especially after I watched Avengers, Age of Ultron. That movie was amazing, and I couldn't wait for the next one to come out. If John was there to watch it with me, it would have been so much better. I would keep on making comments and he'd keep on telling me to shut up then I'd steal most of his popcorn but he didn't mind.

Because he stole my popcorn after.

He claimed he did it so 'we could be even' even though he practically finished mine and I only took a handful of his.

Pig.

Anyway, I decided it wouldn't hurt to unpack the rest of my things, so I got to work. I played some music to get me into the mood.

Caught out, sleeping around

He says it's nothing with her lipstick on his mouth

and you might think he doesn't care that much at all But they always come back, yeah they always come back

I swayed my hips as I put my clothes away.

When he returns he puts you in a situation But it's too late to have that kinda conversation

It's not your job to show this boy some education, no

Now ain't it funny how we never seem to work it out!

"THEY'RE ALL THE SAME! THEY NEVER LEARN! JUST TAKE THAT PAIN AND LET THAT MOTHERFUC- oh hi mum."

My mum stood at my door, hands on her hips and watching me with an amused expression.

"If you're done with your... Arranging," She started, holding in her laughter. "Dinner is ready."

I nodded, smiling sheepishly. Maybe I did get a little too excited...

****

"So, when am I resuming school?" I asked my mum as we ate in the kitchen. She'd made some delicious pasta and I was on my third plate.

It was a mystery how I wasn't fat.

"Next Monday, so two days." She told me. I stared at her.

"Two days? Are you kidding me right now? Two days?" I exclaimed. She frowned.

"What's so bad about that-?"

"Two days." I muttered to myself, shaking my head. "I-I just... Two days... School... It just doesn't make sense."

"Chloe, school starts on Monday, what's the problem with that?" My mum asked.

"Do you think I'm mentally and shoppingly prepared to go back to school?"

"Shoppingly isn't a word..."

"Well, it is now! Is there any way I can go back in like... Never?"

"Chloe! You're going on Monday and that's that." My mum told me firmly and I sighed, violently shoving the last forkful of pasta into my mouth.

"Can I go shopping?" I asked.

"With what money?" She retorted and I groaned in frustration.

"What is life?" I shouted, getting up and keeping my plate in the sink.

"Stop being so dramatic." My mum sighed.

"It's all part of the act." I whispered to her, then returned back to my character and stormed out.

***

I logged into my Boohoo account and started looking at new things I would want to buy. They were doing free delivery until nine o'clock, and as I glanced at the clock which showed it was already seven, I knew I had to order quickly.

I came across a cute hoodie with the words 'weird? No, call me unique' and I was reminded of a childhood memory. I smiled slightly as I thought about it.

"John, John!" A young six year old me called. John looked up questionably.

"What is it?" He asked, coming closer to the fence that separated us.

I held up the wounded animal in my hands. "I finally captured a pigeon! I told you I would!" I exclaimed and held out my free hand between the fence. "Now pay up."

John sighed and dug into his pocket then handed me eight cents! I grinned to myself. I was so rich!

"You should probably keep it in the fridge or something so it won't rot by the way." John added casually. I gave him a weird look.

"You're a weird boy." I told him.

"Weird? Nah, I prefer unique."

*****