*A/N* Ive warned you this book has grammar mistakes so if you have a problem leave. This is a comedy so thats why things move fast, some of you are plain annoying complaining this is a book not real life. Thats why its stupid...

Someone grabbed my waist, and hoisted me off from Harry.

"GET OFF OF HER!" Screamed Alex.

"Well. Technically I was on him. Plus you're not my boss!" I said matter of factly.

"Is he your dad?" Harry asked.

I burst out laughing."Yup."

"Are you drunk Ally?" Alex asked me looking at me concerned.

I shook my head no.

"I'm not her dad. I-I'm her bo- erm body gaurd!" I never seen Alex stuttered.

Wait,"BODYGUARD?" Alex shot me a look.

"Every things all right body guard Harry's a good guy. If you'll let us go back to our make out section." I grabbed Harry and started kissing him. I peeked at Alex he looked really mad. Why would he be mad?

"I SAID GET OFF OF HER." Alex got Harry by his beautiful curls and pulled him off of me.

"Make me." Spit Harry.

"Watch me." Alex suddenly punched Harry. And all bananas got loose.

"Hey! Don't ruin those curls. I want them for a wig!" I shouted.

Alex and Harry were punching each other. Suddenly the blond bimbo walked over and screamed.'ALEX HONEY BUNHES!" She tried to pull Alex of Harry. I stared dumb founded what were they doing?

"HEY I NEVER KNEW YOU TWO WERE GAY! I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME BUT I SEE YOU TWO ALL OVER EACH OTHER!" I screamed at them. I ran over to the booth ignoring Alex's voice!

"Give me your strongest." I growled to the bar attended.

"Coming up." He yelled a strange name and I got my cup in less than 10 seconds. I gluped it down. I made a sour face. This was really strong.

"Another one." I slurred. Then I gluped another one. I was about to ask for another one. When someone spun me around from my chair.

I started at an 49 year old motercyclesist.

"Honey. I think you need a spanking for be so bad."

"Spanky Spanky." I giggled spanking him. I was getting dizzy. I don't feel right. I don't feel anything. I can't think straight.

"Do you want a Spanky hun." He said grinning at me. I smiled and shook my head no.

"No no. No Spanky for me. Me goodie." I stood up. Need to find Alex I thought.

Suddenly someone squeezed my bum.

"AH!" I screamed jumping but tripping over my heels someone yanked me up straight.

"Spank." Said the old dude slapping my butt. What the freak?

"Hey don't touch me." I giggled walking away from him. I fell on a couch. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the old dude following me.

"You have a fine butt. Can I explore?" Huh?

"Only if your Dora." I slurred. The people next to our couch where literally having it. So why I can't I have fun. I smiled at Alex.Wait I think my vision is failing me . I shook her head. That's not Alex.

"I'm Dora." The old man said smacking his hands together. He slowly massaged the my butt. It felt creepy he wasn't doing it good like my personal massager.

"Ahh massage that feels good." I slurred nodding my head. I started giggling and laughing to my self.

I felt some hands under my dress. By instinct I my leg back and smacked something hard with my heel.

"OW!" yelled the old dude.

"GET OF OFF ME!" I yelled back.

"Don't talk to me like that."

"THEN DON'T GO OVER BOARD."

Someone yanked my hair. The dude was pulling my hair & face towards him.

"I'll do as a please." He snarled. He pinned the me down on the couch and started kissing my neck.

"GET OFF OF ME OLD DORA!" I screamed kicking and punching he wouldn't even flinch.

"Stop! I'M BEING RA-." He clammed a hand on my mouth to shut me up.

Where's Alex when you need him?

"Ally?" I heard someone ask.

"MMMheee." I tried to talk but he sill had one hand on me. Who knew old people were strong?

He started kissing me like a manic. Why doesn't be freaking go hit on his mom! I smirked evilly as I bit him really hard.

"ALEX!" I managed to scream. I quickly scrambled off of the couch. I stood up and punched the dudes gut.

"Not this time. And here's so you wont rape girls and eat the pregnant." I kicked him in the balls.

"I don't eat the pregnant!"

"Or get them." I said punching him again.

"Ally?" Someone's voice rang behind me.

I spun around and came face to face with Alex. The old dude growled and ran away.

"Who's that?'' He asked pointing to the old dudes back who was near the exit.

"No one you care about." I growled.Where was he when I was getting raped?

"Can we leave?" I asked him.

"I was going say that." Alex laughed.

I nodded and started walking towards the door but fell.

"Ooh nice floor." I said petting it.

"So when you get drunk you turn bi-polar?" I heard Alex grumble as he picked me up bridal style.

"What are you doing?" I asked. I started getting butterfly's in my tummy.

"Taking you to the car." Alex was a fast walker in no time we made it to the car.

"What time?" I asked as soon as Alex buckled me in my seat.

"3:00 am." My eyes grew as wide as golf balls.

"AWH I missed Dora's new episode." I mumbled.

"What?"

"Nuttin." I slurred.

"Why did we stop so soon?" I peeked my head up and saw we were at a hotel.

"Why are we in a hotel?" I asked

"Because my dear friend we are staying here tonight."

My jaw dropped open.

*A/N*

Comment

Vote.

Okay so I want to get to know you guys I'm going to you ask a question every chapter. You guys can answer if you want.

1) how old do you think I am?

2) how old are you?

Don't worry I'm not a stalker XD