《The Bad Boy OR The Best Friend》forty
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We have been sitting in my living room for the past five minutes, both of us trying to avoid eye contact. A loud audible breath breaks through my lips, making him snap his gaze towards me.
"How do you feel?" He asks, probably talking about my hangover.
"Fine." I give him an abrupt response.
His jaw twitches at that and I resist the urge to roll my eyes at him, because he has no reason to be pissed at me. Alright, well, waking up half naked in another guy's bed might be enough reason to make him mad, but even he must know that nothing went down between Evan and I.
"Do you want me to get you something, medicine or juice?" He asks, only stretching the awkwardness between us.
I shake my head, "Jay, I'm fine." I tell him, this time more persistently and he nods.
His tongue swirls down on his lower lip, the stud immediately distracting me as he keeps his gaze on the coffee table. When he does look up, my eyes are on his mouth so I look away, blood rushing to my cheeks. I hate that I blush so easily.
"You didn't pick up my call or reply to my texts." He begins and I gulp, nodding.
"I needed time."
That makes him frown, "For what?"
Suddenly I wish that we weren't sitting on the same couch, because I'm sure he can close the distance whenever he wants, and that makes a little anxious because I don't want any distractions while we talk. But we have a lot of space between us. I'm sitting with my legs folded underneath me on one end of the couch, facing him while he's just facing the television.
"To think about everything."
"Well, are you done thinking?"
I take a deep breath, keeping my tone in check as I rub my temples, "I don't know what to think. I'm confused." I tell him honestly.
He turns a little so that he's looking at me, "What are you confused about?"
"This whole thing we have going on, about everything."
"You're doubting the fact that we are in a relationship?" He asks, sounding hurt, which makes it even harder as I continue to look at his face that is drawn up in a deep scowl.
"What the hell am I supposed to do? I haven't hidden anything from you, Jay. I told you on our first date where my past relationships stand. You already knew about my feelings before you even kissed me, so please enlighten me that how the hell are we having so many problems?" I snap, not being able to control it anymore.
He fists his hand as he stares at me, "We were fine, everything was fine. I have no idea why are you letting Caitlyn come between us? She fed you bullshit, and you let her."
"Alright, fair enough. Let me keep aside whatever the hell your crazy ex-girlfriend told me. Now, tell me, why did you not tell me about Stacey?" I ask, looking right into his eyes.
"Because it's in the past, Claire. It doesn't matter." His voice is extremely calm and soft, catching me off guard, but it just really pisses me off more.
"It matters, and you know it. Please stop pretending like it doesn't, because that is definitely not helping your case. You never even once mentioned her, considering how close the two of you are. She lives in New York, but you would be shitting me if you tell me you don't stay in contact with her." I voice out the thoughts that have been literally driving me crazy, "How often do you talk to her?"
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He closes his eyes, drawing a breath through his lips before he opens them again. His gray orbs are swirling with emotions that I'm literally failing to detect right now.
"Claire, please."
"How many times?" I ask, drawing my knees closer to myself, as I rest my chin above them.
"Once or twice on a call in a week, and texts here and there." He says, not meeting my eyes.
Wow, I definitely didn't see that one coming. I thought it would be along the lines of, 'once in every two weeks', and I would have been fine with that but this just pierced through me, twisting my stomach in the worst possible manner.
I scoff, "That equals to every day." I stare at my nails, not wanting to look at him, "And during this every day texts and calls, you never bothered to mention that you are dating me?"
He pales, he literally pales as he tugs at the root of his hair. "I don't like to talk about myself, you know that."
"Don't give me bullshit reasons, please. I deserve better than that." I yell at him, making his eyes widen as he gapes at me.
"You need to calm down." He breathes, making me snort as I glare at him.
"Chris, you took her to the same place you took me to on our first date. Do you have any fucking idea how I feel about that?" I say, hating that I'm bringing that up, because this is not a fair reason to argue.
"I know, I know what you must be thinking. But you have to trust me when I tell you that when I took her there, I was high out of my damn mind. Honestly? I didn't even remember that happened until she mentioned it today, because I passed out when we went there, I slept through it. Her definition of a best date varies from mine, because the only best date I've had is with you." He scoots closer but I shake my head before he can touch me.
"I really want to smack your head for driving that long when you were high as fuck. Do you know how dangerous that is? You could've been dead!" I glare at him and his sides of his lips curve a little. "It's not funny."
"You make me crazy, you know that?" His voice is low, easing the knots in my stomach and turning it into a mush as I stare at him.
Nope, I am not getting distracted.
"And you make me want to bang my head against the wall. What the hell were you thinking mocking my feelings, Jay?" I say, my voice harsh but not cold, in fact, I sound hurt which makes me curse internally.
"I didn't mean to, it fucking slipped. I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry, that was an honest mistake." He pleads, "I'm sorry about that."
"Jay, I really am sorry that I've stuck you in a position where you have to see me have feelings for another guy, because I don't know how you do it. I would've been pissed as hell if you felt this way about another girl. I'm not mad if you dislike that, you have every right to because I would hate it if I were in your shoes. That isn't the problem here, I was mad because I have never said that aloud to anyone, except for my father. When you tossed those words so easily, and that too to her, it messed up with my head." I explain, trying to show him what the problem here is.
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He has every right to hate the fact that the girl he's dating is in love with another guy, I get that. That is not why I'm so hurt, I'm hurt because he said those words to Stacey like they didn't mean shit.
"I know, like I said, it slipped. I respect your feelings, I really do and I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise." He says, reach out to take my hand in his, and I want to snatch it back but the way his touch feels, reminding me of how hot my skin gets under his touch compels me to let him hold it.
"Tell me about her, please." I beg, because I want to rest my thoughts that are clawing at my brain so damn much.
"I dated her for a month or two, I think. I really don't remember, because half the time I was high or drunk to give two shits about anything. We were at a party when we randomly kissed because both of us were drunk. She offered a date, and I accepted. I mean, before that, I looked at her more like an elder sister because Jordan is literally a brother to me.
"Anyway, after a few weeks, she started demanding more from the relationship, romantic, cheesy shit. I think that was one of the reasons I took her there, to shut her up for a while but a week later I broke up with her."
My eyes are closed as I let his words sink in, but then I frown, peeking open one eye as I stare at him, "You broke up with her?" I ask, confused because from what I gathered from Evan last night, I would've that that Stacey dumped him and he found comfort between another legs.
"Yeah." His thumb caresses my knuckles, "She started throwing a fit about every small thing. We were fine, but then she wanted me to spend more time with her, and she was always there when I hung out with Jordan and the team. Never left me alone. I couldn't take it. I know I sound like a major asshole for dumping her for those reasons, but that thing wasn't going anywhere, Claire. I was still recovering from whatever shit went down with Hailey."
"Hailey?" I ask, but then the realisation strikes, "Your mother." I say and he nods.
His words surprise me, because Stacey sounds like the version I'm becoming. I throw a fit about small things, we have already fought twice in the little time we have been dating, and I am sure he has a major plot ready in his mind of how he's going to dump me.
Note to self : Don't be clingy anymore.
Major note to self : Don't you fucking dare fall in love with Christopher Jay Jones.
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, because it really didn't matter to me. But I understand that it hurt you, and I'm sorry. My list of girlfriends end there, Stacey and Caitlyn. I don't have any more skeletons in the closet that you need to fear." He says, bringing my hands up to his lips, kissing it and I try to ignore how his breath fans over my skin as his lips press against it, shooting electric like feeling through it.
"I'm sorry too." I whisper, not meeting his eyes.
"For what?" He asks, and I gulp, closing my eyes.
"That you had to see me like that in Evan's bedroom. It wasn't fair to you." I apologise, because I know it bothered him even though he didn't say it.
His eyes grow dark and distant as he lets go of my hand to pinch between his brows. "Why did you drink last night? I thought you didn't like it."
"I still don't. I was hurt and wanted an escape." I shrug and he nods.
"Did something—"
"Nothing. I swear on my life, nothing happened between us."
He narrows his eyes at me, "You don't even remember last night. How are you so sure?"
"Because I know even when I'm not in my senses, I would never do that to you." I tell him the utter truth, because if I were to ever cheat on him, I would literally drown myself in guilt.
The tense look from his still don't waver as he continues to look at me, "But you don't remember. What if something happened? You were half naked, that means he undressed you to put on that t-shirt." He points out, making me rack my brain but I know Evan would never even dare to go anywhere near my bra. He may be top, but he's a big wuss.
"He didn't. Don't ask me how I know, but I didn't. I can call him up right now to ask and wouldn't tell him that you're listening." I say, chewing on my bottom lip.
"Do it."
My eyes widen as I stare at him, because I didn't think he would actually take me up on the offer. But I pull out my phone which I got from Evan's bedside table, unlocking it. My wallpaper is a photo of Evan, my father and me from July 4 as we are smiling like idiots at the camera.
I speed dial Evan, and I notice the way Chris scoffs when he sees that my best friend is number one at my speed dial, but I don't bother acknowledging it as I put the phone on speaker. After two rings, he picks up.
"An?" He breathes, his voice making me gulp.
"Hey. Is everyone still there?" I ask, trying to sound casual.
"Yup! I'm out of the ear-shot though, just entered kitchen. Did he say anything to you?" He asks, referring to Chris and my boyfriend arches his eyebrow at me.
"Nope, we talked. Anyway, that is not the reason I'm calling." I rush.
"You sound nervous as hell, An. What is it? I'll come over."
My eyes widen, "No, don't! I'm in my bed and have a hangover, I just need to be alone right now."
"Oh-okay. Then what's wrong?"
I breathe, "What happened last night, Ev? I mean, did something —"
"Hell, no!" He whisper-yells, "An, nothing. Absolutely nothing happened."
Even though I was damn sure about it, a sense of relief washes over me, a huge sense of relief, and when I look at Chris, he's mirroring my expressions but he still insists me to go on, gesturing with his hands.
"How are you so sure?"
"Because you're my best friend, I wouldn't ever take advantage of you especially when you're drunk and crying over some other dick." He pauses, and Chris's muscles tighten as he hears him, "Anyway, I was sober. I didn't even drink a drop last night."
"What?" I ask, surprised and taken aback.
"Yup. Who would have taken care of your ass if I were drunk too?" He muses, making me smile as I continue to stare at the screen, avoiding eye contact with Chris.
"Yes, about that." I bite my tongue, "Um, did you undress me?" I ask, trying my best to put forward the 'did you see my boobs last night?' question as lightly as possible.
He chuckles, making me close my eyes because Evan somehow always finds something funny when I get easily embarrassed, "That was also you in your stripper mode."
"What the fuck?" I gasp, making Chris glare at me and he stands up from the couch, probably about to leave but I catch his wrist.
"Please." I mouth to him to sit back down but he doesn't budge.
"Yeah, don't worry. I didn't see anything I wasn't supposed to see. You stopped right after you went pant-less, but then you removed the rest of the clothes after you puked in the bathroom and a little on yourself. I promise I was turned around." He explains, making me sigh in relief as I bury my head in my palms, driving finger a little through my hair.
"How lady like of me." I joke, making him laugh.
"Was that what you were worried about?" He asks.
I look up to meet Chris's eye but he's looking down at the floor, a thoughtful look on his face, "Yeah, I just wanted to confirm." I tell him.
"How are things with your boyfriend?" He asks, making Chris look at me finally.
"Working on it." I shrug.
"Uh-huh. Tell him I said hello because I know he can hear me." He says, making the blood literally rush to my face, and I almost drop my phone.
Chris's scowling almost in a comical manner as I whisper, "What?"
"An, you would never call me up to ask me that shit, alright? We have known each other since we were four! You would've known if something had happened, and you wouldn't need me reassuring you," he pauses, making me gulp with a little guilt, "You would die before you cheat on him, and he should be fucking aware of it. And c'mon! I'm your best friend, give me some credit."
I nod, even though he can't see me and I look at Chris. His face is as blank as a new canvas, making me nervous as I keep gazing at him. But then I remember that Evan is waiting for me to respond so I speak up, "Ev, I'm sorry if you felt like I was doubting you. And thank you." I tell him.
"I got your back, always. See you later, An."
"Bye."
I hang up on the phone, literally throwing it away on the different couch as I stare at Chris, "Satisfied?"
"Either he's lying or he's gay. There's no way in hell a guy wouldn't see you naked if he had the chance." He says, his eyes roaming down my body, making color rise to my cheeks as I clear my throat.
"Neither is he lying, nor is he gay. I did what you asked, do you trust me now?" I ask, really getting tired of all the tension between us.
It either works between us, or it doesn't. I'm sick of fighting with him, and I'm sick of being a cry baby. I hate crying, especially if it's over a guy.
"He knew I was listening, so tell me, how do I even know he wasn't lying?" He asks, and his tone makes me stand up on the couch as I glare down at him.
"Don't do that! You know he wasn't lying, Jay! You heard him, I would die before I cheat on you." I point out, because I really would be dying from the guilt anyway.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair, "I can't get the image of you half naked in his room out of my head. I didn't say anything in front of the whole group because I didn't want to create a scene, but that doesn't mean that I have to be okay with it."
"You don't." I keep my hands on his shoulder, pulling him close, "You don't have to be okay with it, I would've lost my shit if I were in your shoes. I'm really sorry you had to see that."
My hands travel up to his neck, as my thumbs caress the sides. "Are you owning upto your mistakes?" He asks.
I shrug, "If that mistake includes me being half naked in a guy's room after I got drunk whole night, then yes, I am." I look into his eyes, "Communication is the key to relationships, right?"
"Yeah, I guess. But that would mean that we have a relationship." He says, still frowning and I retract my one hand from his neck as I smoothe over the lines on his forehead, massaging his temple lightly as he breathes through his lips.
"Well, do you want it?" I ask, because if I were in his shoes, I would walk far far away than staying with a hypocrite and overreacting girlfriend.
"I think so, but only if there's no waking up in other guy's bed, half naked or not." He says, making me smile a little.
"Even if the guy is you?" I say, blaming my no-filter brain and his face breaks into a smirk.
God, I even missed his smirk. What the hell is wrong with me? My hands push back his hair a little that are falling his eyes.
"No, I think I can work with that." He whispers, his hands coming around my hips since I'm literally hovering over him as I stand on the couch.
"I'm sorry." I tell him, and he frowns.
"For what?" His hands rub move down to the bare skin of my thighs below my shorts, distracting me immensely as his touch sends my brain into a frenzy mode.
"I feel like I overreacted that night, I was having a really bad day and all that shit just got to me." I confess, because I genuinely feel like all this could have been avoided if I were mature about it.
"Wanna talk about it?" He asks, and I shake my head before I'm reminded of something which makes me smile as I look at him.
"By the way, we have dinner on friday night at Breanna's place."
He arches an eyebrow, "We? A dinner?"
"Yup, Bri's step-mom invited, and I couldn't refuse because Luke was involved and he's really trying to impress her family." I explain, "You don't mind, do you?"
"No, it's fine. As long as I don't have to play dress up."
"Just don't wear the leather jacket that reeks of bad boy aura." I tell him and he pouts, which literally makes me swoon.
"What are you talking about? I look incredibly good in that jacket."
I nod, "I know, you look hot enough to make me want to jump your bones but her parents wouldn't appreciate that now, would they?" I give him an innocent smile while he gapes at me, then chuckles.
"You have no mouth filter." He points out, making me grin proudly.
•••
thoughts on their conversation?
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