"christmas is exactly in seven days. are you excited?" my mother sits next to me. "no way. i couldn't tell from the entire house being covered in christmas decorations." i joke. "even sick you're still an ass." she grabs the remote from my hands.

"hey! i was watching something." i frown. "what? the cooking channel? you couldn't cook even if you tried." my mom laughs then gestures for me to lay down on her. i do then i cover myself with my blanket.

i wasn't even sick. i didn't know what i was. i just started feeling weird a week ago. i don't know how to describe it other than weird. i had no apetite, i was sleepy all the time, i just wanted to lay in bed and i cried a lot because of the cramps i got.

my mom thinks i'm depressed but i'm not. her attitude changed towards me, she's been nicer. "i think you should go to the hospital." she suggests. "why? so we can wait forever just for them to prescribe me medicine that we have in the cabinet?" i lay there holding my stomach. my cramps have never hurt this bad before.

"maybe they'll give you something stronger." i watch her change channels. "i doubt it."

"are you inviting dad over for christmas?" i ask changing the subject. "of course i am. i'm not a bitch." well.

"just asking. i don't know where you two stand anymore. you say you love each other but you went through with the divorce."

"i do love your dad and i always will. like i've said many times before, you'll understand when you're older." my mom plays with my hair. i roll my eyes. i am older. i'm going to be eighteen in april.

the door opens and i groan when i see noah walk in. he says hi to us then sits on the couch next to us. "what are we watching?" he asks. "i don't know, mom's been switching channels for five minutes."

✰✰✰

"mom this is stupid why are we here?" i cross my arms. "to get answers." she presses the elevator button with a pen. "to what? my cramps? they're going to tell me to drink water and stretch." i complain. "just shut up." she fake smiles at me. i fake smile back and wait for the elevator to stop. when it does i follow my mom to wherever we were going.

she checks me in and we wait in the waiting room for fifteen minutes. i never liked hospitals. finally my name gets called and we walk in with the nurse. she takes me to an area where she checked my vitals then we went to a room where she asked me to pee.

"pee? you want me to pee?" i frown at the brown paper bag she handed me. "yes. you said your cramps feel like period cramps but worse right?" the nurse asks. "right." i look at my mom suspiciously. "and you're not on your period. you told me you have over twelve days left. well cramps that come before and on your period are usual. as you know, cramps are caused by your uterus contracting. you have quite a few days left before your period so i'm just testing to make sure everything is okay." she looks at my mom.

this feels weird, something isn't right. "just pee in the damn cup marie." my mom says and i go to the bathroom. after peeing in the stupid cup, i wash my hands then put the cup in the brown bag.

"there i did it." i hand the nurse the bag as i come back into the room. i sit back on the table wishing i could go home. "let's see." the nurse holds out her hand towards my mom. confused, i watch my mother pull my other pregnancy test out of her purse and hand it to the nurse.

"what the hell. what's going on?" i start to panic.

"bri you're pregnant." she looks at me and i freak out. "no i'm not! why would you say that?" i get off the table. "i've been paying attention to you. i know you're pregnant." my heart starts to race. "no i'm not!" i yell.

"i guess we'll see in five minutes." she eyes the test in the cup i peed in.

this is fucking crazy! i'm not pregnant! there's no fucking way!

"i can't be. i'm on birth control! i can't be pregnant!" i panic. i deny it over and over. the nurse comes back in and looks at my mom.

"i'm sorry but you're pregnant."