kind eyes

and disheveled hair

up to 3 AM

his nose brushing

over my shoulder

as he turns over

in his sleep

honey eyes and

a tender soul

that people

take for granted

i love him,

his warm soul

and his

beating heart

so i want

him to

leave me

sappy poems

or love letters

but never

leave me

without a word

"Morning babe," he mumbles.

He looks so radiant in the morning light, his raven black hair disheveled, long eyelashes brushing over his cheekbones as he yawns.

"I went out and bought some bagels," I beam. He rewards me with a gentle kiss on the cheeek and my legs go weak.

"Thanks babe. I've never slept in this late."

"You're a teacher, you deserve to sleep in for once."

He looks drowsy as he slumps into a barstool, his eyelids drooping.

"We can go back to sleep, you know."

He smiles sheepishly as he smears some cream cheese on a cinnamon raisin bagel.

"Why were you up so early?"

"Felt like I owed you," I blush furiously and he chuckles.

"For what?"

I chew at the inside of my cheek and pour a glass of water, taking a nervous gulp.

"We made love Harry. Why would you owe me anything? That in itself is a gift."

My cheeks completely flush, my gaze casting down at the table. I fiddle with my fingers and he places his hand over mine, calming me immediately.

"What's wrong babe? Are you sore?"

He isn't teasing, he's completely serious, his eyes filled with concern.

"If I'm ever too rough you can tell me, don't-"

"It was perfect Zayn."

He peppers the side of my face with kisses and I giggle, my curls tickling his neck as I bury my face into the crook of his neck.

"Let's be lazy today Harry," he grins and my heart tumbles. "Tommorow we can go shopping or something...today I just want our bodies tangled in the sheets."

I hum in agreement before pulling away to take a bite out of my bagel. I smudge some cream cheese on the corner of his lip with my thumb and his tongue darts out to clean it off.

"Can't believe we've already kissed today."

"What is that supposed to mean," I frown.

"Haven't even brushed our teeth."

I roll my eyes playfully as I continue munching on my bagel.

Then it dawns on me, the pink and orange sunlight filtering through the blinds.

This is it.

Jokes about morning breath and freshly brewed coffee, my notebook flipped open on the bar, Zayn smiling softly.

Falling asleep beside him and waking up beside him.

Beginning each new day with him.

Dawn.

...

"When did you realize you were gay?"

His body is warm against mine, his cheek pressed to my shoulder as he wraps his arms around me.

"I don't like labels," he mumbles.

"Well you're attracted to guys."

"I'm attracted to you," he corrects.

I can feel my pulse strum in my neck as I mutter "you were attracted to Mason."

"Harry please," he pleads. "We were so wrong for each other. I don't know if we were ever truly in love. It was just a mixture of lust and being naive. I was so foolish then."

"Zayn...how did you know that you loved me? When did you know?"

He draws a long sigh and flips over to face me, a faint smile on his face as he tucks a curl behind my ear.

"When I realized my life wouldn't be the same without you. When I ached to see you and touch you and talk to you about motifs and symbolism. You touched me when we were both fully clothed. I don't know if that even makes sense but you touched my soul Harry...made me forget what happened with Mason. Pavana says true intimacy is the joining of two naked minds."

My dimples pop as I return his smile, my heart processing what he said.

It's harder to expose your heart than your body. It makes you vulnerable, putting your feelings out there and showing your sensitivity.

"People say you just know...when you fall in love. I think I was intimidated by you at the beginning of the year, by your eloquence and your wit, by everything. I wasn't particularly fond of poetry until you taught me to delve deeper. Then I realized that people leak their pain on paper, they write down their hurt. Things that seem simple at the surface usually contain so much meaning. You just have to know what to look for."

His thumbs trace circles in my cheeks as he captures my lips.

He pulls away and I dip back down to kiss him briefly.

"i have survived

so many fires

i can no longer

tell if i'm alive

or if i'm still

burning"

I rest my head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. He tugs at the covers and a comforting warmth washes over me.

There isn't anywhere else I belong.

"I'm burning for you. I always will."

"Harry," he murmurs. Chills run down my spine as his fingers find my scalp. "I don't question how I love you anymore, I wonder how I could ever stop."

I blink fiercely to hold back tears but it doesn't work. He pulls me impossibly closer, our legs entwining.

"Hey its okay, don't cry."

My body racks with sobs.

I don't understand.

I don't know what I did to deserve Zayn.

"Shhh," he coaxes.

Warm bullets puncturing skin, sharp knives, spewing hate and spreading lies. Starvation and pleas for salvation and tears and fears and uncertainties.

But I have Zayn and let my eyelids close, my body begging for rest.

And I realize the world isn't so bad after all.

A/N: I know that was short but school has been sooooo stressful and sign of the times still has me shooketh. It's like Mind Of Mine releasing all over again. Zarry dates coming up, I love you all