"What is E.E. Cummings trying to get at here?"

Some guys snicker at the poet's last name while I read the poem over and over until I feel it inside my bones

i will wade out

E.E. Cummings

"i will wade out

till my thighs are

steeped in

burning flowers

I will take the sun in my mouth

and leap into the ripe air

Alive

with closed eyes

to dash against darkness

in the sleeping curves of my body

Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery

with chasteness of sea-girls

Will i complete the mystery

of my flesh

I will rise

After a thousand years

lipping

flowers

And set my teeth in the

silver of the moon"

The room is eerily silent but I find power within myself to speak up.

"The verbs imply movement. The poem is breathing, it's alive and vibrant. He references parts of the body...real tangible things that you can touch that are juxtaposed with the personification of nature. It's both physical and spiritual but he blends it so seamlessly. Maybe it's some sort of inner awakening or unity between body and spirit. It isn't overtly sexual or anything but it's sensual as hell."

It's almost as if the rest of the room has evaporated. There are no sounds but the rustling of papers and shocked stares sent my way. I don't care. It can all melt away because Mr. Malik runs his tongue along his bottom bottom lip, anxious for more and asks:

"How so?"

"In sleeping curves of my body, shall enter fingers of smooth mastery...that illustrates penetration but then he describes the fingers as being chaste. It's sort of like he's undergoing some transformation that goes way beyond sex."

"Precisely. There's a balance between purity and sensuality. It's kind of like a balance between light and dark. The reader is given power of the mind, body and soul. By reading this we embrace nature and feel a sense of rebirth. I have a little assignment for you guys. Write a short poem about how this poem made you feel. If you still can't fully grasp the poem don't worry, just write anything that came to mind when you read it. I won't test you over this."

People begin scribbling away while I ponder for a moment.

"There is one other E.E. Cummings poem I want to discuss. Turn to There Is A in the anthology and we'll talk through it."

There Is A

E.E. Cummings

"there is a

moon sole

in the blue

night

amorous of waters

tremulous,

blinded with silence the

undulous heaven yearns where

in tense starlessness

anoint with ardor

the yellow lover

stands in the dumb dark

svelte

and

urgent

(again

love i slowly

gather

of thy languorous mouth the

thrilling

flower)"

As he examines the poem I think about what I could possibly write in response to this one but my mind draws a blank.

"You don't have to respond to this one."

I breathe a sigh of relief as a girl's hand shoots up on the other side of the room. She bats her eyelashes and draws out her words agonizingly slow.

"Mr. Malik, can you share something poetic that you have written?"

I roll my eyes, my pencil pressing firmly against my paper. The lead breaks and rolls off the edge of my desk onto the unforgiving floor.

"Love involves falling

and i'm deathly afraid

of heights"

My heart shivers again and again as those words echo through my mind.

The bell rings and I shove my stuff into my backpack hurriedly. I want to bolt out of the room but he smiles at me and my feet are plastered to the floor.

"Where did that come from?"

"What," I ask perplexed.

"The beautiful things you said in class."

My heart tumbles, flutters around in my chest and sings out an enchanting aria.

softly singing

haunting melodies

on an empty stage

i don't expect

anyone to listen

but he hears me

anyway

"From my heart."

I want to kick myself for saying something so idiotic but his response makes my breath hitch.

"Thank you for that."

"I like Rupi Kaur," I blurt out.

"Really? Mind sharing one of her poems with me, or is your girlfriend waiting?"

"you must have known

you were wrong

when your fingers

were dipped inside me

searching for honey that

would not come for you"

He frowns, a line forming between his thick unruly brows. "Why did you choose that one?"

"E.E. Cummings didn't address forced intimacy. He talks about touch but not forced touch."

"Touch is a very special thing Harry. It's easy to touch someone but it's completely different to feel someone."

He chuckles, his fingers tangling in his soft raven black quiff. "That probably made no sense."

"No! That made complete sense," I give a dimpled grin.

"You haven't turned in today's assignment."

I hand it in and his eyes soften, crinkling at the corners.

feral ferocity

to the tone

sleeping with

a gentle grace

i will take

the sun in my mouth

to burn the back of

my throat

"I usually don't find myself at a loss for words but this is talent."

"Thank you," I murmur.

"Tell me something Harry, how do you have an A in Calculus and a D in my class? Is it really that miserable? I would like to think discussing literature is a lot less harmless than finding derivates and integrals."

A laugh bubbles out of me. "Truth is I think I'm starting to like this class."

"I'm glad to hear that," he smirks.

My feet trod to the door but his voice stops me once again.

"It wouldn't have anything to do with the teacher would it?"

I give him the middle finger along with a carefree smile. "You wish."

...

"If anyone else wore glasses like that they'd look like a total nerd," Lou points out. "Instead all it made me do was develop a glasses kink."

"Whatever," Liam slaps him upside the head. "Enough drooling over your teacher."

"Ow," Lou whines. "That isn't fair. You're the one that had a wet dream about him. You don't hear me talking about my fantasies."

Niall's eyes light up and he munches on some crisps. "Please, tell me more."

"Don't you dare," Liam warns.

"Do not threaten me," Louis retorts. "Mr. Malik had him bent over the table, isn't that right Liam?"

"Why did I even tell you," he groans.

"What did he say again...that you were a naughty boy?"

"Stop," his cheeks flush and Niall howls in laughter.

"Guys cut it out," I snap. "I don't care to hear about your sex lives."

"Speaking of which, how is Sam?"

"Fine I guess."

"Yeah but have you ever jacked off to a picture of her?"

"Lou!" I swat at his hand and he chuckles.

"What about phone sex?"

"You're impossible."

I groan as their perverted conversation wanders back to Mr. Malik.

"I mean come on, what other teacher is inked at this school? If you say you haven't thought about slipping your hands up under his shirt and feeling him you're lying."

"He's really fit," Niall notes. "Looks pretty toned underneath all those soft sweaters."

"Hell," Lou adds. "He wore a fucking turtleneck one day and gave me a boner. I don't even swing that way."

soft fabric

covering supple skin

what i would do

for just one touch

to see you flinch

and those veins

in your neck

as my lips

etch patterns

and my tongue

makes you wet

"Harry, what are thinking about?"

"N-nothing," I stammer.

"You're blushing."

"Just drop it, okay?"

a sliver of tan

as you write

on the board

the smooth skin

of your hip

makes me want more

if i can't concentrate

it isn't because

i don't care

maybe the problem is

i care too much

"What was with you answering in class today? Do you feel okay? Are you sick?"

Liam places his hand over my forehead and I laugh it away.

"I'm fine. I guess that poem just spoke to me."

"Did you see the way he looked at you?"

"What?"

My heart gets caught in my throat.

"It was like you hung the damn moon or something."

your smile

encourages

the stars

to be strung up

in the sky

your hair

midnight black

it makes me

wonder why

you're so afraid

of falling

when you lift

me up

so high

"I guess I didn't notice."

The lie tastes so bitter on my tongue. Of course I noticed and it made my heart trill.

I don't like the effect he has on my eyes. I want to skip his class but I can never find the courage to do it. Instead, I show up get off from his words.