The rest of the week was uneventful. So uneventful that I began to have doubts about Jack's feelings towards me. After Ellie's conversation, I was confident that I really had a chance. But this past week, my confidence faltered. On tuesday, Jack had decided to be lab partners with Asher instead of me. Then on Wednesday, he sat with his skater friends at lunch. On Thursday, he told me he thinks this girl from his Spanish class has a crush on him, and sat with Finn on the bus instead of me. It's not like anything he did was completely out of the ordinary, but it definitely made me feel very friendzoned. I ranted to Ellie on the bus, who was forced to sit with me since Jack took her usual seat.

"I'm really scared for tomorrow," I confided in her, making sure I was talking softly so no one around us could hear.

"Don't be. You've got this," she assured me.

"I don't know. Jack's been very friendly with me this week. It's like he's taken a step back, and I'm really scared he doesn't feel the same way as I do," I mumbled.

"Look, I don't know what else to say to you. Everyone you've ever met has said you and Jack belong together. He's just being weird. You know boys, they're dumb."

"I guess. I don't think I've had enough time. I don't want to tell him tomorrow."

"Madison, you have to do this. Quit being a little bitch and be honest. You'll feel so much better once the truth is out there," she commanded.

"Fine, whatever," I groaned, sinking into my seat and facing the window.

"Hey, Madison, we still on for tomorrow?" Jack called from his seat a few minutes later. I sat up and turned in his direction. He was smiling at me, and Finn was watching intently.

"Of course," I confirmed. Jack turned to Finn and gave him a high five, both grinning.

"Weird," I muttered. Ellie laughed.

"You know they were probably talking about you, right?"

"Weird."

Friday was a little better than the rest of the week. Jack paid more attention to me, and I made my decision final. I was ready to tell him about my feelings.

"What movie do you wanna watch tonight?" he asked, sliding into the seat next to me at lunch.

"Hmm, I don't know. Dazed and Confused?" I suggested.

"One of my favorites. You know me so well," he grinned, poking my cheek then grabbing the cookie resting on my lunch tray and taking a bite.

"I'm excited," I smiled.

"You should be. I made my mom get your favorite ice cream and I'm ordering you pizza."

"I don't deserve a friend like you," I beamed.

"You really don't."

I planned on getting off the bus with Jack, but he refused, insisting he needed 'time to prepare,' whatever that meant. It ended up working in my favor, because I got to go home and change. I settled on wearing a black hoodie and shorts. I carefully applied mascara, making sure not to overdo it, and put on lipgloss for the occasion. This was the night me life was about to change. After years and years of being Jack's best friend, I was about to be more. Hopefully. I knew this could all go wrong, very wrong, but I managed to keep the negative thoughts at bay. This is Jack we're talking about. I know him. I know he likes me. Everyone knows he likes me. There's no reason for me to be scared.

I ended up finishing my weekend homework to kill time until Jack told me to come over. We were given lots of homework this weekend, since we had a three day weekend for superintendents day, whatever the fuck that is.

jack attack 💛

yoooo

come whenever u want

my parents aren't home by the way

on my way!

the pizza better be waiting for me

jack attack

I just ordered it

yay

ok leaving now

jack attack

See you in a min

I put on one final spray of perfume and sprinted out the door. I didn't feel like driving, I had too much nervous energy that I needed to let out. I proceeded to run as fast as I could to Jack's doorstep, which resulted in me being completely out of breath by the time I reached my destination.

"Eager to see me?" Jack grinned, opening the door before I could knock. I didn't respond, I was too winded.

"I watched you sprint down the street. Are you thinking of joining track or something?" he teased, pulling me inside.

"I was just hyper," I shrugged, slowly regaining my ability to breathe. Jack led me to the living room, where there was a bowl of popcorn and a blanket waiting for us.

"The pizza's almost here. Want a drink?" he offered, making his way to the kitchen.

"What kind of drink are you thinking?" I asked. I definitely don't think getting drunk tonight was a good idea.

"Water. I don't feel like having a hangover tomorrow," he sighed.

"Same. I'll just have a water then." Everything was going fine, normal, but I couldn't help but feel off. I think we both knew there was some sort of weird tension that neither of us wanted to explain. I watched Jack as he retrieved cups from the cabinets and began filling them with water. He was wearing a dark blue button down and black jeans, and he looked good. Really good. He returned from the kitchen, precariously holding the two glasses of water.

"Here," he said, offering me one of the glasses.

"Wait, Jack, holy shit, did you paint your nails?" I gasped. Jack's fingers, which was still wrapped around my glass, were painted black.

"Yeah. You told me it looked cool," Jack said, looking at the floor and not meeting my gaze.

"It looks great," I grinned, finally accepting the water. The doorbell rang, and Jack hurried out of the room, returning a few seconds later holding a pizza box. He set it down on the coffee table, then sat next to me. I was watching him intently, and didn't speak when he sat down.

"Is everything ok? I feel like things are a little... I don't know... off?" Jack said, breaking the silence. Well, it's now or never I guess.

"Um- Actually- I- uh- I have something to tell you," I admitted. I refused to meet his gaze, choosing to instead stare at the wall behind him.

"Ok... then tell me," he said matter of factly.

"It's not that simple. This might... ruin everything. And I mean everything. Like, if this goes wrong, our friendship could be over forever."

"You know nothing could ruin us. It can't be that bad," he assured me.

"It might be that bad."

"There's literally nothing that could be that bad. Unless you killed my dog or something. Oh god, you didn't kill my dog, did you? Wait, did you like kiss my dad or something? Wait, actually that's really gross and not funny. Please tell me I'm wrong," he groaned.

"No, Jack, I didn't kill your dog. Or kiss your dad? Is that what you really think of me?" I laughed.

"Ok, let me guess. You're moving. Yep, that's it. You're moving far away, to like China or something, and the only way we'll be able to communicate is through carrier pigeons."

"Jack, calm down. I'm not moving, and if I was, you'd be the first to know."

"Are you saying I'm not the first to know this secret?"

"I guess not," I shrugged.

"Madison, just tell me. You have nothing to worry about, I promise." He reached for my hand, which was resting on the couch, and squeezed it in his own in an attempt to comfort me.

"You know what I just remembered? You never told me why you stopped talking to me for a month," I realized, half wanting to change the subject and half wanting to actually get an answer. It was Jack's turn to get flustered.

"Don't try and switch this on me," he said.

"Tell me and I'll tell you. Simple," I concluded.

"It might ruin everything," he mumbled.

"Looks like the feeling's mutual," I sighed.

"It's stupid anyways, it doesn't even matter," he said.

"Then tell me."

"Madison, I really don't think that's a good idea," he pleaded. We fell silent for a minute, pondering the situation.

"We never have secrets. I really don't like this," I admitted. This night was not going as planned at all.

"I don't like it either, but what am I supposed to do about it?" he countered.

"Tell me," I answered.

"Do you really want me to risk everything for some stupid secret? Just tell me what you wanted to tell me and we can move on," he said angrily.

"We both have secrets that could destroy our friendship, and we both don't want to tell each other," I stated, trying to explain the situation.

"No shit, Sherlock," he snapped.

"Woah, chill," I said, shocked. Jack was actually getting mad about this.

"Sorry. This is so stupid," he sighed. I nodded in agreement.

"I know, it's just, I've been wanting to tell you this for a while and I was planning on telling you tonight but now I'm just not in the mood and these stupid fucking secrets are ruining everything and I'm so scared to tell you because I don't want to lose you and I don't want everything between us to go in the wrong direction because you're the best person I've ever met and you matter to me more than anyone else and I l-" I rambled, cutting myself off with a sharp breath. Tears pooled in my eyes, and my cheeks burned scarlet from embarrassment. Why was this so hard for me? This entire night was a bust because I couldn't just be honest with Jack.

"Hey hey hey, it's ok. Don't cry," he comforted me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me to his side. "Alright, what about this. We have a long weekend this week, so, how about we spend the entire weekend together, and on Sunday night, we tell each other our secrets. Then we have Monday to recover, whether we stop being friends or not," Jack offered. I wiped my eyes on his shirt and nodded.

"That sounds g-good," I stuttered, still recovering from my breakdown.

"Great. Then if by some means we actually stop being friends, we can at least have one last killer weekend together. You can sleep over tonight, then tomorrow we can sleep at your house, then Sunday we can sleep at mine. Is that ok?" I nodded again.

"Perfect. Now let's stop crying and watch Dazed and Confused! The pizza's getting cold," Jack grinned.

The rest of the night was fun. We forgot all about our little fight, or whatever you want to call it, and hung out as friends. Jack had once again only gotten one blanket, saying it's 'not his fault his mom doesn't like to do laundry a lot so we have to share,' which I didn't mind at all. I ended up falling asleep on the couch halfway through the movie. I woke up at around 3am, still on the couch. Jack was lying with his back leaning on the couch cushions, and I was resting half on top of him and half next to him. His arm was around me, keeping me pressed against him. I wasn't sure if he did that in his sleep or not, but either way, I fell back asleep with a smile on my lips.