You say don't worry about me and this makes me worry most about you. I want to go with you wherever you go because I know you aren't capable of walking alone.

-Rain

"Who eats pickles and peanut butter?", Sam shrieked dramatically.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes. He was being way to dramatic. It is normal when you are pregnant.

"Oh Sam you don't know. Once I ate pancakes with tomato ketchup.", nana stated.

Sam made a disgusted face as I giggled. It was so much fun annoying him. But I really liked this combo of peanut butter and pickles. Not quite sure about pancakes with tomato ketchup but still can try it.

Pregnancy can make you do weird things. I took another bite of the cucumber pickle coated with peanut butter.

"Gross doll!", Sam sighed.

At that very moment Amber kicked within me. It was euphoric feeling. It wasn't the first time she has kicked inside my womb and also not the last time.

I am just seven months pregnant and have two more months to go before I could give birth to her.

I don't know why I named her Amber. But I really liked this name. Maybe I want her to have a spark that I couldn't have.

Flaring and blazing.

Confident and bold.

She kicked again and I put Sam's hand on my stomach. Many people confuse Sam to be the father of Amber but I deny it peacefully. He is my cousin after all.

"You know she is going to be a footballer and her uncle will teach her all the skills she needs to know.", Sam stated as I nodded my head.

Sam had been the star footballer in his college day. He could definitely teach her.

"She could be anything she wants to be with two condition. Firstly by promising me she won't get hurt and secondly she will always stay with me.", I stated.

"She won't go anywhere leaving you doll.", Sam assured and I nodded my head.

The alarm of my phone rang. It was time for my meds.

"I will get them.", Sam stated as he opened the cabinet in my night stand and took out three pills.

He placed them on my palm as he poured water in a glass from the jar. He passed the glass to me as I swallowed the pills with help of the water.

"Good girl.", Sam stated as he pressed a kiss on my forehead. He took the glass from me as he placed it on the night stand.

He got on the bed making himself comfortable. He picked up the remote.

"Want to watch something or sleep?", he asked.

"Watch.", I stated as he played a random episode of FRIENDS.

Joey had a photo of Monika and was being blamed by Rachel by calling him a pervert.

I couldn't control my laughter. I laughed loud along with Sam.

Soon I felt something wet leaving me. Sam got down the bed. He removed the duvet cover to see the bed and my pajama shorts were wet.

"Crap your water broke!", Sam shouted.

He started running around. Worried that how could my water break in seven months. Even nana and nanu came up and started panicking.

I tried to call them but non were ready to listen to me. Sam was about to call the ambulance.

"Guys!"

I shouted as everyone looked in my direction.

"My water hasn't broken. You know I laughed so loud that my bladder couldn't hold it.", I said as I looked down ashamed.

"Walton and Sam leave the room. I will manage from here.", nana stated as both the men left the room.

I felt tears tumbling down my cheeks. I felt embarrassed. I felt nana's frail hands wipe my tears as she told me it was okay.

I just nodded my head and passed her a weak smile. She helped me out of the bed to the bathroom as I changed my underwear and pajama shorts into the Minnie ones.

I went out to see she has also changed the bedding so that it was no more wet. She passed me an encouraging smile as I helped her cover the mattress with the new sheet.

In between Amber kicked inside of me.

"Nana, Amber is laughing at me.", I said pouting.

Nana laughed at me as she went inside the bedroom to wash her hands. She came back and squeezed my button nose.

"Nana!"

I huffed as I crossed my arms around my chest.

"She wasn't laughing at you silly. She was trying to cheer you up.", nana stated.

Amber kicked again.

"Nana she agrees with you. She just kicked again.", I stated as nana chuckled.

"All good in there?"

I heard nanu's voice as I muttered a yes. The door opened up as both nanu and Sam walked in.

A yawn left my mouth as I suddenly started feeling sleepy. I leaned on Sam's chest. It was warm and I liked it.

"I think we should all eat the dinner.", nanu stated.

I looked at nana as she nodded. Meanwhile the telephone in the living room ringed.

"I will get it.", Sam said as he started making his way out of the room leaving me cold.

Soon nanu and nana also went out of the room. I looked outside the window at the stars and the crescent moon.

I went to the window to look outside.

"Rain come down for dinner.", I heard nanu's voice. So I dragged my sleepy body out of the room making my way down the stairs.

I was too sleepy to look down carefully so that I didn't slip.

I missed a stair.

"Ahhh..."

A scream left my body as I felt my body make contact with the sharp ends of the stairs.

I fell on the floor screaming and crying. I could feel the most pain in my womb.

My Amber!

I couldn't hear any voice. I only felt being lifted up and being put in the ambulance.

"Amber!"

I groaned in pain as I was rushed to the operation theatre.

I heard the doctor saying that I wasn't hurt or bleeding but my Amber was in danger thus they had to operate on me.

I felt an injection being injected in my back. Numbing the pain I was feeling the womb.

Please god punish me if you want to but not my child. Not my Amber. She is the only one I am left with. I pleaded to the god.

I lost track of time as they cut open my womb while wiping the blood that was leaving my body. Soon they took out my baby and cut the umbilical cord.

They patted her at her back but no movement. They did it again but no movement. My heart was in my mouth. The doctors gave her CPR but still nothing. They felt her pulse and their faces fell with this even my heart fell in my stomach.

"I am sorry Ms Rain but it seems like you have give a stillborn."

"Amber!"

I got up with a jolt. Cold beads of sweat were running down my face.

The whole dream was correct but the last part was wrong. I never had a still born. Amber was alive and breathing. She is still breathing.

Then why?

I got down of the bed but as soon as my legs touched the ground they gave up.

I fell down.

I felt like screaming. Why am I this pathetic? I mustered all my strength and got up.

I need to reach my Amber. I had to reach her. This dream was wrong. Nothing like that would happen. I consoled myself. I looked at the clock on the wall to see it was 3 o'clock of early morning.

I went to the bathroom and washed my face. My Amber is coming back.

"No negative thoughts Rain.", I said to myself.

I can't meet her looking like a zombie so I went to my room and I decided to take a bath and wear a fresh set of clothes. I wore a pair of random jeans and a saffron cardigan.

Today I will cuddle with her all night. I told myself as I made my way downstairs waiting for Damien the come back with Amber. I wanted to see her so bad.

I picked up of Amber's soft toy as I sat on the couch downstairs. The time was taking an eternity to pass.

Soon the main door opened up as I looked at the clock to see it was 4 o'clock.

Damien stepped in covered with blood. But I didn't care about that at that moment. All I cared was that both Damien and Amber were fine.

I rushed in Damien's direction. Looking at him expectantly.

"Where is Amber?", I asked him.

He was quiet. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. My heart stopped beating.

"I am sorry angel. Amy, s-she is no more.", he whispered.

I laughed at him. Nice try but if you think you can fool me then you are wrong because you can't.

"Damien this is no time to joke. Let me meet Amber. She must have been so scared over their.", I stated.

"I am not lying angel.", Damien stated.

"Do-on't lie to me.", I croaked

Damien shook his head as he moved away.

There she was, my Amber lying in Dominic's arm. I rushed to her. I touched her. Her body was so cold. There was no bruises or Mark's on her body.

She can't be dead. No she can't be.

"Amber?", I called her as I gently shook her. She didn't move.

Then I used my secret trich and tickled her. But she still didn't move.

Now I shook her by force. Tears were flowing down my cheeks. My dream can't come true. It is impossible. My Amber can't go leaving me. She just can't.

"Dominic tell her to wake up. Tell her she is making her momma cry.", I pleaded to Dominic.

He looked at me and shook his head.

"How can she be dead? She is not even wounded.", I cried out.

Damien stood next to me as he lifted Amber's left wrist. A deep cut was there in her artery.

She died because of lost of blood. She got a slow and painful death where each moment she could feel her life moving away from her.

"She even couldn't cry for help.", I stated as I placed my hand on her cold cheek.

"I am sorry.", Damien stated.

I turned around and slapped him on his left cheek hard. So hard that even my hand hurt but I didn't care.

I then slapped him on his right cheek and continued slapping him.

He didn't utter a word. Finally I was exhausted and my legs gave up. I fell on the ground with a thud.

I cradled my face in my palms.

"My Amber!"

I shouted as I sobbed. Damien sat down in front of me.

He encircled his arms around my body. I tried pushing him but it was of no use. I started hitting his chest.

He pressed his forehead on mine.

"Sshhh..."

I continued punching and pushing him.

"I hate you. I hate you.", I shouted.

Damien didn't utter a single word. He kept rubbing circles on my back. But it only fueled my anger.

"You are a monster.", I shouted.

"I know love. I know it.", Damien sobbed.

I placed my head on his chest. I didn't know what to do. How much he repelled to me yet that much he comforted me.

"She could never learn sign language, never go to school, never make a boyfriend and could never prepare my funeral. I did my parents funeral and now my da-aught-er's funeral."

My voice broke.

"She could never fight with me over her boyfriend, never sneak out for a wild party, I could never walk her down the aisle and could never see her children.", Damien stated.

His words made me cry louder.

"My Amber is gone. How long was she saying to me that she wants me to teach her how to bake and she left before I could teach her.", I said.

"Before I could scold her for burning down the kitchen. Well I shouldn't have scolded her but she should have lost her permit to enter the kitchen.", Damien stated.

I sobbed and didn't know when I fell asleep but this time I hoped I would never wake up.