Mel and I watch the twins and Jase playing in the backyard, chasing after soccer balls. Running barefoot, their dress shoes abandoned shortly after their feet hit the grass, they laugh and giggle, occasionally stopping to find food or drink. They are truly enjoying themselves, they don't realize the depth of what went on today. So as far as they are currently concerned they have their friends with them, enough toys, grass and food to entertain them, and people to give them hugs, kisses and snacks. For these moments in time, the world is safe for them.

Right now, their world is good. They have their best friend Jase playing with them. A never-ending supply of cupcakes and cold lemonade, because today of all days, no one can bear to say the word 'No' to these children. Surrounded by love, they feel the invincibility and confidence of a child. Tonight, in bed, they'll remember and miss their parents, but right now, all is right in their little world.

"He's back. Have you seen or talked to him yet?"

Mel quietly verbalizes what I've been grappling with since I saw Tuck in the church. My intent was to ignore him, but he keeps hovering in the background, talking with his parents, restocking the food and drinks, taking out trash. I don't know why he's here, I mean I do know that he loved my family, but he hasn't seen my parents in years. And in all honesty my brother talked to Tuck as infrequently as possible for a manager to communicate with his client. This is puzzling, and annoying, I guess it's easier to focus on something that makes me angry, Tucker, rather than the things that make me sad. I don't care if its right or wrong, I'm just angry with him for being here. He doesn't belong, and he doesn't deserve to mourn people he ignored for years.

"No, I first saw him during the funeral, and I've caught glimpses of him this afternoon. I didn't realize that anyone had gotten a hold of him. To be honest, I didn't think of trying to get a hold of him, I just assumed he wouldn't come anyway. He's been gone for too long, it was nice of him to come to the funeral, but he really needs to leave my house." I try to say this calmly, but it really comes out sounding angry.

Mel sighs and looks at me.

"Kell said that Jake tracked him down and brought him home. He's not staying at the house though, I guess he's at a hotel in town. He told Kell that he's home for at least a couple of months if not longer, he wants to set things right."

Furrowing my brow, I don't understand what she's saying.

"Set things right? What does that mean? I guess apologizing to his parents and Kell?" I shake my head while trying to imagine righting all the wrongs he's done to his family.

Mel shakes her head, looking down at her lap.

"I honestly don't know what he meant, I don't think that Kell does either. I mean, he hasn't really been a part of this family for years, hopefully he can make things up to his parents. No one knows more than you do how precious and fleeting love and time with your family can be."

Mel reaches over and throws her arm around me, pulling me in and giving me a kiss on my cheek. She truly is a sister to me.

"Yeah, that would be wonderful for all of you guys, I hope he can fix the relationships with you all."

"Well, I hope so too, but I think you should include yourself in on that. If the way he's been watching you all day is any indication of his feelings, he wants a do over with you too Sky."

Snorting and shaking my head I start to laugh.

"Oh Mel, that ship sailed years ago. He was my best friend, and then he evaporated from my life. I don't wish any ill will towards him, and I really hope that he fixes things with all of you, but truthfully, my life is way too chaotic and full with the twins now I don't have the time or the inclination to deal with that emotional history. If he apologizes for ditching our friendship, then I'll totally forgive him, but truthfully, I forgave him years ago. I just don't have the time or energy to give to him, he sucked all of that from me too long ago. And to be real here, F-him for abandoning my parents and Ty and Rach, they loved him and he ghosted them too."

The loud angry cries of three-year-old twins echoes over the lawn.

"Give me the ball now Colt, I want to go home for a nap!" Yelling and angry, Nell faces off with her brother.

It seems as if we've overstayed at the party, time to get Colt and Nell back to the house.

Wrapping my arms around Mel, I lean in and speak into her ear.

"We're going to head back now, I'm not going to say any good byes, so if anyone asks, just let them know the kids needed to have naptime. Thank you so much for everything Mel, I wouldn't have been able to get through today without you and Kell, I love you guys so much."

We stand and hug, I'm holding on to her, trying to get some of her strength to carry me through the night.

"Kell's on his way over, let him help you, I'm going to go tuck Jase in for a nap too. Love you Sky, we all love you. I swear you can do this, I believe in you! Remember, you're not alone it this!"

Bending down to pick up Nell, I kiss Colt on the top of his head.

"I can handle this myself Mel, you and Kell stick around with his parents, no worries. Colt honey, you ready to go have a rest? I'm going to let you pick out the story, Nellie chose yesterday. Come on guys, let's get out of these dressy clothes, and into something soft and comfy!"

With Nellie balanced on my left hip, and Colts left hand tight in my right hand, we walk across the lawn to my childhood home. The home I will now live in as an adult.

The home I will live in without my parents or my brother.

The home where I will raise my niece and nephew as if they are my son and daughter.

"I love you guys, so much. I'm so proud of you, you were so good, I know it's been a long day, but you guys were awesome!"

I stand straight and strong, walking across the lawn, shoulders back and head high, we're going to do this. Together the kids and I will be a strong and good family. Just like we were before we lost mom, dad, Ty and Rach. The three of us have enough love that we can handle all of this, we're a team still. A smaller team than we were before, but we are still powerful in our love and support.

"Love you too Auntie Sky!"

They say this in unison, in their own way, the language we have all called twinspeak.