It had been exactly thirty seven days since I'd been back in Ryan's 'care'. Although I had only spent twenty four of those days conscious because whenever I wasn't cooking or cleaning I was passed out on the floor somewhere due to a beating that I'd just received.

I barely recognized myself when staring at my reflection. My face was more messed up than it had ever been from Ryan's beatings, even from when we were dating. I figured that it was because I was house bound now so he didn't need to worry about getting caught. My body was just as bad.

I sighed and wrapped fresh bandages around the several cut wounds that my body had collected. But not without flinching every time that I brushed the wrong area and a rush of pain was triggered.

I had finally given up on the idea that Antonio was ever coming back. He had told me that he'd be gone for a week, maybe two. Not over a month. I was finally coming to terms with the idea that this was just a part of some plan he'd compiled in order to get rid of me. Perhaps it was the fact that I'd settled down and finally came to feel things for him. That meant that he had nothing to punish me for anymore. Bottom line, he was a bored sadist and no longer had anyone to torture. Or he was dead. I honestly wasn't sure what was worse, that the only man I'd ever felt something real for was dead or that he had potentially stopped caring for me. Was it best that he chose to leave me or had been taken away?

"Alice!"

I gasped from the sudden sound of banging against the bathroom door.

"Yeah, just a sec."

I quickly glanced down at the wedding ring that I was holding. I had moved it from the kitchen cupboard to the bathroom one. Ryan never opened these cupboards, it mainly contained medical stuff that I'd use to clean my wounds. Every time I came in here I'd take it out and admire both it's beauty and what it now meant to me. I'd occasionally slip it back on my finger and became more disheartened every time it appeared more and more loose. I had lost a lot of weight. Ryan chose when and what I ate which meant I'd eat once a day, if I was lucky and that would usually be whatever he hadn't eaten from his meal. All my clothes were getting baggy on me too, not that Ryan cared. He didn't care about my well being, not until it actually began to effect him.

"Open the fucking door Alice, I got to piss."

I quickly hid the ring back in the cupboard behind some bandages and opened the door before Ryan lost any more patience.

"Finally...."

He muttered grumpily and shoved past me, the abrupt force causing me to stumble back a bit.

I walked away, after closing the door behind me.

"I want you to wear this tonight."

Ryan had informed me that he was taking me to one of his friend's party tonight. Apparently it was his mates birthday and they were all going down to a bar. He wanted me to be there, probably just so that he could show me off but I didn't care. What mattered was that this would be my first time getting out of the house. That was good for two reasons. One; I desperately needed a change of scenery. Two; Antonio could still be tracking me!

I didn't know how he did it but now a whole load of food was being delivered once a week. I guess that he'd made arrangements with someone to come and leave me food so I wouldn't have an excuse to leave. Obviously whoever left it there still had no idea about what was going on inside the house either. I had told Ryan that the food came from some online delivery service that I'd purchased and they automatically sent me food without even having to choose things on a computer or something. I didn't know if such services even existed but he bought it.

I focused my attention back on the dress. It was something I had bought for myself a while back after I'd gotten away from Ryan. A person at work had invited me to a Christmas party and insisted I came. I went out and got the dress, intending to come and have some fun. Of course that never ended up happening. No, I spent my Christmas Eve at home on my sofa wearing sweats and binge watching the latest junk on Netflix, my only companion for the evening, a tub of chocolate fudge ice cream.

I did love the dress though. It was a dark maroon color and was made of sequins. Although it was certainly an eye catching number, it also remained somewhat modest. When I purchased it I was well aware of the fact that it was for a work event and for that reason didn't want to be too flashy. It had a high neckline and went down to my knee, with fairly long sleeves too. In fact I was surprised that Ryan had selected this dress for me to wear. It was oddly unrevealing for his taste. Usually he dressed me up in tiny outfits when we met up with his friends. Oh well, I wasn't complaining. At least I could wear the dress without being super uncomfortable. Plus, I wouldn't even need to put makeup on my tattoo because it was covered by the material.

(Please note that I do not own this image.)

"Of course I'll wear it."

I beamed at Ryan. I wasn't about to blow my chance at getting out of this damn house.

He sharply nodded and threw the dress at me in a hurried way, still attached to it's hanger.

"Hurry up. We're leaving in an hour."

I sat down on Ryan's lap when he pulled me towards him. My whole figure was stiff as he wrapped one arm around my body, the other rested on the arm chair with a beer in it's hand.

"Alice, I have to admit we didn't think we'd be seeing you two together again."

Ryan's best friend, Fred, spoke to me. He spoke as if he was teasing me and when I hesitated in answering I felt a tight grasp on my thigh. That was enough of a warning to trigger my answer.

"Yeah..... I er.... I was sick. I didn't know what I was saying...."

I figured that it was best to play the whole 'I'm sorry, It's all my fault' card because I knew where an outburst would get me. I couldn't show Ryan up, not while he was infront of his mates. Embarrassing him was actually a suicide mission. I remembered his friends and the position they held during the court case. Obviously they had all been used to determine a verdict and all supported Ryan. They said I was a cheap whore and only was using Ryan for his money and now wanted to get rid of him so made a fuss of nothing. Fred even went as far to say that I'd tried to seduce him. The court didn't believe what they'd said anyway so it never really mattered to me. In fact, I never thought that I'd even have to see any of these disgusting men again, but here we are.

"Well, in that case I hope Ryan has punished you accordingly for your mistake."

I gulped and nodded slowly before lowering my head in complete submission. All of Ryan's friends were the same as him. Abusive, pathetic and evil. All of them had hurt their girlfriends the exact way that Ryan had hurt me. If anything they'd given each other tips on how to break us. It was sometimes as if they had their own little competition. Most of the other girls weren't like me. They always got out early, as soon as they were struck once, maybe twice. However, I always stuck around. They said it was because Ryan had trained me well. They always spoke about me as if I was some kind of pet. They were actually proud of Ryan for what he had turned me into. I wish I'd have been like the others. I wish I'd have gotten away from Ryan as soon as he hit me for the first time because no matter what he said, it was never the last time.

"Trust me, I have."

Ryan spoke while grabbing my jaw and forcing me to kiss him while he groped me in front of all his friends. I couldn't help myself as I shuddered in disgust at the action. But I didn't dare pull away from his hold. It wasn't worth it. That's what I kept telling myself.

After he pulled away, it was only a matter of minutes before I was sent away to get some drinks for the table. Seeing as we were in a bar and we could have just called a server over to take our orders, it seemed pointless for me to do it. But it was just Ryan's way of testing me, showing me off to the group. It sounded, no it was, so toxic but I was used to it by now.

"Good girl"

Ryan whispered in my ear as I walked away from the table. I didn't miss the deranged sound of the men laughing when he slapped my ass. They were all pigs, disgusting pigs and I hated myself for following their rules and commands but the alternative was always worse. That was my excuse. The one thing that I held onto as some sort of explanation as to why I never stood up to them. It was this or getting myself beaten to death. Maybe that was my problem, I still held onto the hope that one day I could be free. But everyday with Ryan that hope was dying out, slowly but surely.

The whole evening I had been a waitress to the group and simply had to keep a smile on my face as they teased and harassed me. Though my face was a pretty picture of what they wanted from me, in my mind I was screaming at them all. I'd found myself ignoring their conversations completely, instead imaging scenarios in my head where they'd all die in horrible and violent ways. Maybe that was the real reason behind my smile. The version of Ryan that I'd made up in my head was far more fun than the one I was currently stuck with.

I missed Antonio. I wished that he was here right now to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be ok. But instead of being there for me, he had abandoned me in literally, the worst place he could've. Admittedly it wouldn't have been so awful under different company, the timing of my return was horrendous. A day or two later and Ryan may have actually left completely, not bothering to wait for me to come back home.

That evening Ryan was so wasted that I was shaking to the point that even my teeth were chattering, but not from the cold. From the fear. When Ryan was this drunk, the evening never ended well. He always became violent and took his rage out on the closest person possible, which was nearly always me.

"I'll go and get you some coffee...."

I stated calmly once Ryan was seated on the couch. I wanted to get him to sober up a bit more before things got too out of hand.

"Why?"

Shit.

I instantly stopped in my tracks. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I then painted my fake smile back on my face and turned around to face him.

"I just thought that we could have a nice drink togeth-"

I didn't get to finish my sentence.

"DO YOU THINK I'M FUCKING STUPID ALICE?"

I began to sob and shook my head head in a hurry.

"YOU DON'T LIKE ME LIKE THIS? IS THAT IT?"

He began to advance towards me and I could only step back so far before my back hit the wall. I was trapped.

"I-I...."

I stuttered, unable to form a coherent sentence before Ryan aggressively back handed me across the face. As I collapsed onto the hard floor on my hands and knees, my vision went blurry for a minute or two.

The next few minutes went by in a total blur as I forced myself to focus on anything but the harsh blows being delivered across my body. The pain was immense, worse than anything I'd felt before. I could have sworn that I heard my own ribs crack. But at this point I was so out of it that I couldn't be sure.

Eventually Ryan stopped, allowing me to turn over onto my stomach and throw up what I assumed was vomit but upon seeing his shocked expression I glanced back to the puddle, surprised to see blood. I'd thrown up blood, and a lot of it.

"Fuck....that can't be good."

Ryan murmured to himself as my head flopped back onto the ground.

"I- I.....hos- hospital.....hospital...."

I was barley audible in my pleas but Ryan obviously caught onto what I was trying to say as he responded quickly.

"No."

I needed serious medical attention. Ryan had never caused my body this much damage. I was literally lying in a pool of my own blood and my breathing was raspy and strained.

"I err- I'll go get some bandages and shit....yeah. I'll be back. Stay there."

Yeah, as if I could go anywhere. Then a massive wave of fear washed over me. I felt a huge weight crush me as I remembered what was waiting for Ryan once he found those bandages.

The fucking wedding ring.