Missing you comes in waves, Today I'm drowning

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Grief. Grief is like living two lives, One where you pretend everything is okay and the other is where your heart silently screams in agonizing pain. Grief is the price of love, the more you love someone the more it hurts when they're gone. Sometimes happy memories hurt the most, because you know you can't make anymore of them. Grief is not a place to stay, it's the healing after a rough endure. But, the hardest part of healing after losing someone, is recovering the 'you' that left with them.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why did I do that? I'd never let anyone call me Sam, not even Tiare calls me that because she knows how much it means to me. So then why the fuck would I let Elena Gilbert of all people call me "Sam"?

I mean she's supposed to be my arch nemesis, but ever since I've gotten to really know her I can't seem to want to hate her. Of course we put our past feuding behind us, but I didn't think that meant we would instantly click and have this amazing connection that I would have loved years ago, had I known.

I want to say I'm just overreacting, but this is kind of freaking me out. I mean why would I let a new friend/past enemy call me a name that sends a wave of despair through my body every time I hear, when I don't even let my best friend, boyfriend, or sister call me that. Tell me, please... I really want to know why I physically could not tell Elena Gilbert no.

The answer is at the tip of my tongue, yet I don't think I'm ready to say it. There is a voice in the back of my head telling me I know why I just don't want to admit it.

I just- ugh...I want to just ignore all of this and Elena and forget anything between us ever happened. But I know I would never forgive myself if I did. I know that I could never ignore the constant pull or the continuous ache to be around her. It's not the overwhelming feeling of happiness I get with Stefan or the feeling of comforting warmth I get with Damon. It's like a silent peaceful bliss, almost like I'm in a paradise world of nothingness.

This is something that I can't explain, and that scares me, because for once I no idea what to do.

After my almost mental breakdown I've decided to get ready for the party. I put on a thin white spaghetti strapped dress with a simple pearl necklace that match my earrings and bracelet. I tie my hair up in a cute messy bun before spraying on some perfume.

To go with the dress I added some silver open toed heels and a tiny pearl studded clutch before gliding on some lipgloss. I take one last look in the mirror as I hear the doorbell ring.

I answer the door to see Stefan standing with roses in his hand.

"Well don't you look beautiful" Stefan compliments twirling me around to see the full outfit. I giggle taking the flowers from him and places a kiss to his lips.

"And don't you look dashing" I smirk up at him. I quickly put the roses in a vase and hurry back to Stefan.

"Shall we?" Stefan holds his arm out. I chuckle with a wide grin.

"We shall"

Stefan and I are sitting in comfortable silence on our way to the dance. Stefan's leg bounces up and down, so I can tell he as something to get off his chest.

I place my hand on top of his knee to stop the incessant movement. I look up to him with a raised eyebrow pretty much telling him to spill.

He gulps nervously and starts pulling at the tie around his neck.

"So earlier I um had a talk with uh with Zach and we both agreed that we had to do something about Damon. So we sorta kinda put vervain in his bourbon and he sorta kinda got angry and pretty much threatened to kill someone" Stefan explains in one breath. My nose flares in anger.

"B-but before you get too angry I have to tell you that this was all just bait for our trap, we needed him to think that we needed have anymore plots" I sigh in relief.

"Woo okay that's not that ba-

"So then I got vervain to put in Caroline's drinks so when Damon feeds he's vulnerable" Stefan blurts our extremely fast causing my eyes to bulge out of my head.

"YOU WHAT?!!?!" I scream loud enough I'm sure the whole town can hear. Stefan winces from the loud volume.

"I know I know, it's just-

"No, no no no no no" I shake my head vigorously. His heads snaps to me.

"What do you mean, no? This is the only way to put Damon down" Stefan tries to reason.

"No, it's the easiest way to put Damon down" I correct with a harsh glare.

"You're not using Caroline as an object of You and Damon's little game, she's been hurt enough" I order stubbornly while crossing my arms.

Stefan pauses to look at me for a second before turning back to the road.

"Yes I am" He mumbles under his breath. My head snaps in his direction.

"What did you say?" I squint at him challengingly.

He side glances me before clearing his throat.

"I said, yes I am" He coughs into his hand. I glare at the side of his face.

"Speak up" I snap sassily.

"I said yes I am!" Everything freezes.

Stefan looks like he's about to shit himself.

This motherfucker didn't just yell at me, right? Like I must be trippin, because I know he did not RAISE HIS VOICE AT ME.

I pulled my hand back and smacked him upside the head, hard.

"Who the hell are you yelling at?" Stefan pouts as he rubs his head.

He turns the car off as we finally arrive at the Lockwood mansion. Stefan sighs heavily.

"Look angel, I know that Caroline is one your "friends" and all, but I would and will do anything to protect you, even if it's from my own brother. So if I have to kill everyone in this town to keep you safe, I will do so...whatever it takes" He rants before getting out of the car to walk around and open my door for me.

He holds his hand out for me, I stare at it for a few seconds before I sigh and give in.

Stefan pecks me on the cheek while sliding his arm around my waist.

"You look beautiful" He says against my ear. I lean in closer to him.

"I know" I whisper back. I remove his arm before strutting away from him.

Stefan hangs his head in defeat with a deep sigh of frustration.

"Should've known it wouldn't be that easy"

I was standing by the appetizers nursing a champagne glass while observing the crowd.

This is where I start to regret coming in the first place, if I knew Stefan would be such an idiot and go behind my back. But then I wouldn't be able to stop him from using Caroline as Damon bait.

Of course I understand Stefan's need to put his brother down for good, but Stefan and Damon have their own issues and I'm not going to let anyone else get caught in the cross fire.

Plus it's not like I'm choosing Damon over Stefan, that's not what's happening at all. I just hate to see my boyfriend so blindsided by his hate for Damon that he doesn't realize who he's hurting in the process.

I honestly really hope it's not the case, but my gut is telling me this is just the beginning of what's to come.

"Hey Sam, you okay?" I snap out of my gaze to meet the doe brown eyes of Elena Gilbert.

"Oh! Yeah, I'm fine" I reply quickly with an award winning smile. She grins back in return.

I look over her shoulder to see a cute guy with strawberry blonde hair and blueish green eyes.

"You enjoying your date?" I nod to the boy behind her. She turns around to see him almost bump into someone and chuckles as he sends her a boyish grin.

"Yeah, he's adorable" Elena turns back to me, but frowns when she looks over my shoulder.

"Where's Stefan, I thought you came with him?" She questions looking around. I sigh sadly before chugging down the rest of the champagne causing Elena to raise both her eyebrows.

"Well I don't know but if you see him tell him I'm pissed and to find me, immediately" I grit out as I brush past her.

After to walking around for a while I soon find a quiet empty room. I look around at its contents, I freeze when I spot my parents wedding rings in a casing right next to Elena's parents.

"Aria, What a coincidence of seeing you here" I jump when I hear the loud voice of the older Salvatore brother.

I look over my shoulder to meet his icy blue eyes. I glance from him to the door.

"How long have you been standing there?" I squint at him accusingly. He holds his hands up in surrender.

"Not long, just long enough to see you finish your third glass of champagne" Damon gestures to the empty glass in my hand.

I sigh with a shrug.

"You caught me" I muse setting the glass down while sitting on a nearby bench.

Damon sits down next to me.

"So, what did dear old brother do?" I shake my head vigorously. He rolls his eyes.

"Come on, talk to the Demon" He reasons throwing his arm over my shoulder and pulling me into his side.

I look up to him with a raised eyebrow.

"What I've grown to like the title. I think it suites me" He smirks arrogantly. I roll my eyes playfully.

"Well your brother went behind my back and made a stupid decision and didn't think about how it would effect me, so I'm ignoring him" I mumble the last part with a pout while crossing my arms.

"Aw don't pout, I'm sure Steffy is working on his apology speech as we speak. He doesn't do well with guilt, trust me I know" Damon comments slickly underneath his breath.

"Anyways, don't sweat it. I'm sure he'll be back in your good graces by tomorrow..." Damon trails off whilst standing up and walking towards the casing I was looking at earlier.

"Or not" He smirks villainously.

I roll my eyes with a scoff.

"Should've known you'd say that"

I need y'all to vote on who you'd rather see Maria be with...I have a lot of visions on who her significant other could be, but I can't decide. So I was hoping you guys could help me decide.

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