《Saanwli Si Raat》20. Silli Silli Hawa - Part II
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Zubiya took some deep breaths before she finally followed Asfand and headed down towards Gaiti bhabi's room.
Asfand stood next to Daniyal bhai as he tried to support him while Zubiya stood opposite as she couldn't withstand taking a seat at this moment.
Asfand hadn't tried to talk to her again after they came down from the terrace. And she hadn't approached him as well even though she wanted to as she felt ashamed. Guilty.
How could she just utter those words?
A nurse came out, suddenly breaking them out of their thoughts. When Asfand and Daniyal bhai quickly rushed towards her the nurse softly smiled at all of them and announced, "It's a girl. Congratulations to all of you."
Daniyal bhai smiled widely and hugged Asfand tightly, as he said tearfully, "I have a daughter."
And then he was enveloped in a hug by everyone. Lubna aunty kissed his forehead and hugged him again.
Zubiya stood back as she watched them with happy tears running down her cheeks. She tried to surreptitiously wipe them but fresh ones arrived not long after.
Asfand's heart craved to gather her in a hug. But he knew after they had talked at the terrace they needed to have a serious conversation.
He felt cold every time he remembered those words - And it can be put to a stop as well.
After Daniyal bhai headed inside to check upon Gaiti bhabi and his newborn daughter Zubiya was engulfed in a hug by Lubna aunty and her Mamo.
She tearfully hugged them back, desperately needing their hug.
Asfand and Zubiya stood apart on two sides as they waited for their chance to meet the newborn baby.
Both tried to avoid meeting each other's eyes and were relieved when Lubna Aunty came out and sent them inside.
Entering the room wasn't a different experience for her. Years back she had had been excited to meet her own brother's child. And now it was another brother and sister-in-law's child, she was excited to meet.
Watching Daniyal bhai holding on to the baby made her miss her own nephew and despite everything her own brother.
She directly headed towards Gaiti bhabi and hugged her as tightly as she could without hurting her. After shedding some tears with her she turned to hug Daniyal bhai.
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Her breath caught when she saw the baby in Asfand's arms. She almost tripped and was caught by Daniyal bhai who held her upright. She quickly removed her eyes away from Asfand as she congratulated Daniyal bhai. And then slowly walked towards Asfand who was still looking down at the baby in such an amazed manner that it made her heart beat run fast.
"Hi. Can I- ?" Zubiya whispered to Asfand, who finally removed his eyes from the baby. He looked at her and then down back again, almost as if he didn't want to let go of her. Almost. Because soon he started instructing her how to hold a baby, but stopped when she calmly informed him that she knew how to hold one as she herself is also a doctor. Asfand reluctantly put the baby in her arms.
Holding the baby.. the feeling is totally out of the world. Holding her small fingers, caressing her fresh skin.. watching the baby slightly pout her lips and holding her forefinger in a tight grip was totally out of the world.
Knowing that this little person is totally new to everything is totally out of the world. Yes, she was excited to meet her nephew when he was born. But right then she really didn't understand the meaning of all these feelings as she herself was a kid.
She softly whispered into the baby's ear, "Assalamu Alaikum." It was then the baby suddenly opened her eyes, blinked a few times and closed it again.
Asfand watched her, his heart bursting full of love - he felt it was going to burst out of his chest. He took some deep breaths to calm himself. She looked so perfect. With the baby in her arms. Looking at her he came to terms that she didn't mean what she had said earlier. And he was adamant on finding it out later.
Zubiya finally handed off the baby to Daniyal bhai and bid goodnight to them after congratulating them once again. She then followed Asfand outside where Lubna aunty asked Asfand to drive her home while she and mamo would stay for a little while longer.
She glanced at him nervously and saw that he had already started walking away. Annoyed, she followed him again.
Zubiya glanced at Asfand who was quietly driving the car. She huffed slightly.
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He wasn't even looking at her.
And then she wondered if he agreed to what she had said earlier.
Was he happy? No. He said he wouldn't leave so easily. Shouldn't I be angry by what he said? But then why do I feel slightly comforted by his words?
"Dammit!" She exclaimed in her mind.
"What did you just say?" Asfand asked her, glancing at her once.
Uh-Oh. Did she just say it aloud?
"Nothing.. it's just.. nothing.." She replied, shrugging her shoulders.
"Hmm." Asfand hummed and didn't say anything else which slightly grated on her nerves.
"Hmm- what? Aren't you going to say anything else?" Zubiya finally asked.
"What else should I say?" Asfand asked back.
"All that you are supposed to say! Weren't you talking a lot at the terrace - that this conversation isn't yet over and all that jazz!" Zubiya exclaimed.
"Wait a second. Yes. That conversation isn't yet over. But I don't really think now is the perfect time to sort this stuff out.." Asfand stated as he continued to drive.
"This stuff?! Our relationship isn't a 'stuff'! And now is actually the perfect time to sort it all out." Zubiya stated.
"Oh! So you really want to explain about what you said earlier, right?" Asfand exclaimed as he stopped his car, parking it in a free space and finally looking at her fully. "Speak up! Why are you so silent right now?"
His words stilled her and she looked away for a while.
"Those words came out of my mouth because for a moment I felt as if you are also one of those men that feel that women are lower to them..
"Do you really think I'm like that?" Asfand asked her softly.
"No.. When I saw you, Daniyal bhai and mamo today.. how happy you all were that we have got baby girl in the family.. I realized that you all are totally different from those type of men. Because having a girl born into a family is normally considered as a bad luck. Like how my father felt and continued to make me realize that I was nothing more than a burden for him. But.. please explain. Why did you ask me such questions that day that I felt as if you were doubting me - accusing me of something?"
"Because I was jealous. Of him. He was getting to spend those precious times with you. I am sorry if you felt as if I doubted you. I would never do that because I trust you more than myself. I trust you with my life. I am sorry I made you think that you were making the same mistake again. I am really sorry." Asfand apologized as he looked down.
"Do you know today I got a case where a seven year-old girl was kidnapped and then her dead body was found after five days in a nearby dumpster, not from her home. After taken in to the hospital, it was found that she had been raped numerous times and then murdered. After seeing her mother I realized.. what real pain feels like. She held my hand tightly and kept on saying that no girl should exist in this world... And if she does it's better if she dies because a girl has nothing but pain for her in this life. I was silent all along because what I could I say? I had nothing! My entire life I had witnessed how my mother suffered by the hands of my father and eventually she had her life taken by himself. Will all the girls and women alike get such treatment all their lives? How long? Can't we do anything to bring about a change? Anything?" Zubiya asked Asfand as she grabbed his hand and held it in her grasp tightly.
Asfand sat quietly as he himself had no answers to her questions.
"I don't know, Zubiya. I don't know. What our country needs is education. Girls- boys, everyone. When the entire will stand together and make a decision we can overcome this disease that has spread in our country. Only then will a change come. We can do as much as possible to help them.. we can open schools where girls will be educated on how to protect themselves. To take a stand. And then In Sha Allah we'll find a change."
Zubiya smiled at him, hopefully, "In Sha Allah."
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