《Saanwli Si Raat》19. Silli Silli Hawa - Part I
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Gaiti bhabi's due time came closer and there was just about a couple weeks left before the new member joined their family for which they were really excited. And it showed as one entered their house because it was filled with Baby items - some gifts received in the Baby shower and some gifts which constantly kept arriving everyday from distant relatives.
Asfand guilty for accusing Zubiya had tried to make amends to her. But he failed because Zubiya ignored him each time. She had changed her roaster times as such that she wouldn't have to come in contact with him.
One such morning Asfand had stepped out of his room as he blearily rubbed his eyes and tripped hard on a box and fell on the ground.
"OW! SHIT!" Asfand exclaimed as he clutched at his sore toe and cursed at the house-workers.
As he sat on the floor and rubbed his sore thumb he didn't realize another person's presence as she stood watching him.
Zubiya had finished her shift and was climbing the stairs to her when she heard Asfand's cry and decided unwillingly to take a peek at him. She knew she was going against her promise to herself to never talk to him... but she just couldn't help it.
She found him on the floor clutching his feet with his eyes closed and mumbling curses at the house-workers.
A bad dancer always blames the stage.
She mentally rolled her eyes. She must have made a sound in annoyance when Asfand snapped his head toward her.
"Zubiya!" He gasped out and started stammering. "I- The house is filled with so many stuffs.. I just tripped and fell.." Asfand tried to pick himself again when he stumbled slightly and Zubiya's body automatically moved forward as if to catch him. But mid-step she stopped herself. She was so in-tune with him that she forgot she was supposed to be angry with him.
Asfand took a couple of steps towards her when she turned around and walked away towards her room with a huff. Leaving Asfand to sigh and stare at her retreating figure with nothing but melancholy in his eyes.
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Zubiya sat alone as she gazed at the sky. She had missed coming to the terrace.. the peace that she felt coming up here.. after talking to him... But she chose a different day to come up here. She knew Asfand had night duty today. But the main reason was she needed some fresh air. As she suddenly felt a bit claustrophobic in her own room. She wanted to watch the sky right above her. To feel that her mother is watching over her.
Today she missed her mother's presence quite a lot as her heart felt heavy.. not for herself though. Not because Asfand doubted her. But generally for all the female generations on this earth.
For every single woman out there on this earth. For her mother. For herself as well and other future girl-children that maybe born. She kind of even agreed with what the mother of her patient said today. That women shouldn't even exist on this planet. And if they do, they should be killed when they are born.
At first she felt horrified because how could she think like this? But if you feel from her point of view.. it is a complete different thing. To have your 7-year old daughter gone missing for five days. And then receiving the news that her dead body has been found in a near by trash, murdered. And to top it all, to get the knowledge that in these 5 days she has been raped. Not once, but numerous times.
Her heart broke for that woman. She knew she couldn't empathize with but she could at least try to.
Not only for that child, for every single child who has been tortured in such a manner and is being tortured, for every teenage girl, for every wife and for every mother.
She has watched her entire childhood how her father treated her mother and finally had watched her demise in front of her at the hands of her own father.
How long will this go on? How long will the females be treated like this?
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She felt like breaking down and giving up. She, being a woman felt the weakest at this moment. The weakest.
She sighed and started to walk towards the stairs, but stopped short when she saw him step in.
Her eyes watered suddenly. How she craved his arms around her. How she craved for his words. To calm her. To soothe her aching heart. To say everything will be well, In Sha Allah.
Asfand, who had been feeling ill and had come home early, unable to do the rest of his duty.
His heart had been feeling so heavy with guilt that he couldn't take another step at the hospital mid-duty. He physically felt the pain and had started rubbing it furiously when a colleague saw him and worriedly asked, "Asfand, are you feeling okay?"
"Yes - it's just.. It's aching badly.." Asfand mumbled as he sat down on a chair.
"Take deep breaths. Let me check." His colleague said and after checking him out he suggested that he takes a couple days break and make-up for it later.
Glad to get off-duty, he wasted no time before he was back home. His parents were surprised to have him back before but happy nonetheless. He longed to at least get a glimpse of her. His eyes surreptitiously roamed around looking for her when his father said that she had gone to sleep. And his heart sank.
Feeling lowly, he had decided to go to the one place where he felt close to her - The Terrace.
Asfand, shocked to find Zubiya stood still. He hadn't expected her to be here.
"Zubiya, please. Please. Talk to me." Asfand almost begged her as he caught her left hand.
Zubiya gasped and looked down at their hands. As she gazed her vision blurred while Asfand's words rang in her ears - Accusing her. Doubting her.
He was just like the rest of them. Like her father. Like every men out there.
Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head again and again. She finally looked up into his eyes and said, "But I have nothing to talk with you. Please let go of my hand."
"No! Enough is enough! How long will we stay like this? We are going to get married in just a few months -"
"And it can be put to a stop as well." Zubiya said monotonously, without meeting his eyes.
Asfand felt as if every breath left his lungs while he stood still staring at her. "Do you really mean it?"
Zubiya gasped in realizing what she had just uttered. Tears ran down her cheeks as she looked back down at their attached hands. She desperately wanted to shout - No! How can I? When I love you so much!"
But before she could answer him, Asfand's phone rang.
Asfand answered the phone, still staring at her "Yes, mom. What? Ok, I am coming down right this second. Don't worry, Ma. Okay, I will contact Zubiya. Okay- Okay, please just pray to Allah that everything goes on well in sha allah. Okay, Allah Hafiz."
Asfand looked up at her and said without any emotion, "Gaiti bhabi's contractions have started. We have to take her to the hospital now."
Zubiya nodded her head as she wiped off her tears with her right hand and was about to head downstairs but was held back by her left hand which was still tightly clutched by Asfand.
"But this conversation isn't over. I won't let go of you until you look into my eyes and say it. I will not let go of you, Zubiya Khalil. I will not be one of those who will have regrets in the future. I will not." Asfand stated clearly before walking back downstairs leaving her standing there alone, stunned.
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