《Saanwli Si Raat》14. Gair Kanooni (Unofficial)
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"Did you just say that you miss me?" A voice interrupted her thoughts and she glanced up, startled to find the person who had taken up her entire thoughts standing in front of her.
In a trance, she watched as Asfand made his way slowly towards her while she stood still for a few seconds. Coming out of her trance she quickly moved a few steps back only to be stopped by the hard wall behind her.
She gasped as she felt Asfand trapping her between himself and the wall as he stood very close in front of her, gazing into her eyes with such passion that she almost felt weak at the knees.
"So, you missed me?" Asfand asked softly, bringing his mouth closer to her ear.
She shivered as she pulled back, and looked down in shyness. Asfand stood back himself giving her some space. She looked up to find him smirking at her as she collected herself. She gasped as the first thing she noticed from close was the lack of his long locks.
Her hand automatically rose to touch his hair, forgetting her previous shyness.
"Your- Your hair?" She asked him, as she looked at him quizzically.
"Cut them. I think it was big time I cut them. Ammi has been pestering me for a long time. Why - don't you like this hairdo or do you miss my long hair?" Asfand said, smiling at her teasingly as he ran his right hand through his hair.
Zubiya's throat dried up as she found that little action really distracting.
She cleared her throat softly, "No. I mean- it's not like that. You look good with both the hairdos."
"Why - thank you!" Asfand said as he did a little bow, making Zubiya chuckle softly and shake her head at her own foolishness.
Asfand smiled softly as he gazed at her with an endearing look. Zubiya looked away shyly, unable to bear the soft look he gave her.
This feeling was out of the world as she had never felt so cherished. Not even with Rameez. She had always felt her sixth sense or something in the pit of her stomach trying to forewarn her with Rameez. As if she already knew that his motives weren't good. But with Asfand, she felt safe. She felt... top of the world would be the perfect term. Yes. She felt exactly that. Top of the world.
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But why did she still feel as if she didn't deserve this? Why did she still feel as if she was living a dream? How can a person be so lucky as her?
"Please stop looking at me like that." Zubiya softly said as she looked down at her hands.
"Like what?" Asfand asked her back calmly, and waited for her response.
"Like- like you care for me! Like you love me!" Zubiya exclaimed at him, frustratedly.
"Why should I stop when I do all of the above that you just mentioned?" Asfand fired back at her.
"You shouldn't! Because I don't deserve you! And you don't deserve me - you deserve a girl, much better than me.. who doesn't carry so much baggage in her life!" Zubiya finally shouted out, leaving her almost breathless.
A thick moment of silence spread between them.
Zubiya didn't dare look up at him, lest her resolve breaks the moment her eyes fall upon him.
"Zubiya... you deserve the world. You deserve nothing but the best. Stop portraying yourself so low. Zubiya, people do make errors in their lives. It's a common thing. But it doesn't mean that they don't deserve to be forgiven or they don't deserve a second chance at their lives. Frankly it's your family members, i.e., your father and your brother that don't deserve to be forgiven. Instead of putting your fears to rest and making you understand they just put the blame on you and outcaste you in the middle of the night. During the ups and downs in one's life, it is the unity of one's family that matters. Not the reputation. And they chose reputation over family. Zubiya, please stop blaming yourself. Because we don't. Your past doesn't matter to me and neither my family. I love you because of who you are. I care for you because of who you are. And my family will be happy to welcome you permanently as a family member. We are just waiting for you to say yes. If you are not ready yet, then we are willing to wait. I am willing to wait. I am willing to wait until you finally say 'yes'. Until you finally accept that you care for me the same way as I do. Until you finally admit that you love me." Asfand stopped speaking as he moved forward towards Zubiya. He slowly wiped the tears with his fingers that had rolled down her eyes as she quietly listened to him and gazed at him with an unknown expression. He could only hope for what he wanted to see there. Trust. More than anything in this world he wanted her trust. Her belief in him. Faith in him. And later, if Allah willed, Love.
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Zubiya watched Asfand as he softly wiped off her tears. His touch was soft.. soft as a caress. She gazed into his eyes and found something in them that she had always dreamed of. And read in fairytales.
"Will you marry me, Asfand?"
Zubiya, watched Asfand freeze in his actions and slowly move his gaze towards her.
She hadn't expected these exact words to blurt out of her mouth but she didn't regret them now. Her resolve was made. If Allah had planned all of this for her, who was she to stop them. She could just leave it all to Him and hope for the best.
"Wh-What?" Asfand whispered, gazing at her in disbelief.
Zubiya smiled at him tearfully as she said, "You know, I think you are purposefully making me ask again..." Asfand shook his head and was about to speak when she asked in clear voice, "Will you marry me, Asfandyar Usman Ali Khan?"
Asfand laughed out in disbelief and said, "I can't believe are asking me... this was supposed to be my line, you know! And yes! I will definitely marry you, Zubiya Khalil!"
Asfand lifted her in his arms and rotated on the spot making her hold onto his shoulders tightly and squeal in surprise while he exclaimed out, "We are unofficially engaged! Wohoo!"
"Asfand- Shhh! You will wake everyone up! Please put me down now!" Zubiya half-shouted, half-squealed.
Asfand slowly put her down and held on to her waist as she slightly stumbled upon him, still dizzy from all the rotating.
"I don't really care. I want the whole world to know, now."
"Asfand- what about my family? I mean, how can I marry without their blessings?" Zubiya suddenly asked. Asfand quietened down as he looked at Zubiya's pained expression.
"Zubiya.. I don't what to say about this. I have asked my parents about this. And dad is adamant that he won't ask for your hand to your father. He will just let him know and give him the invitation when our marriage will be held. If your family wishes to join us they will, and if they don't then they will not. The decision to give you away will not be of your father's because he has officially lost that right the moment he let you out of your house." Asfand softly said, to which Zubiya numbly nodded as she looked down to their entwined hands.
"Zubiya, please don't worry about them anymore. Let's move forward now. Think about our future. Together." Asfand said as he lifted Zubiya's head with his fore-finger making her smile.
Zubiya slowly nodded her head accepting his request. He was right. She should let go of the past and welcome the present and future with open arms.
"Okay, so when do you want to get married?" Asfand asked Zubiya as he stood holding her waist, and looked at her with a wide smile on his face.
"How about... maybe after 5 years?" Zubiya asked lightly. She bit her lip as she looked up to watch Asfand's eyes slightly bulge in shock as he exclaimed out, "5 years?!"
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