《Saanwli Si Raat》2. Aakhir (Finally)
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Usman Ali took a deep breath as he stared up at the young girl standing in front of him.
"Ma-talat is - she is - " Usman started speaking but was interrupted midsentence.
"Was." Zubiya softly interrupted him with a blank look on her face.
"Sorry?" Usman Ali gasped out, thinking he made a mistake in hearing her.
"Was. Not is. She passed away four-months ago." Zubiya explained calmly.
Asfandyar shocked, stared blatantly at Zubiya while Daniyal, Gaiti exchanged stunned looks between each other and their mother not knowing whom to comfort walked towards her husband who seemed as if he was slowly falling apart.
"Usman..." Lubna held her husband's shoulder, trying to pour in all the support that she could muster and pass it to her husband through a single physical touch.
"I didn't even know... I didn't even know..." Usman Ali who hardly cried in front of his family sobbed through his tears, making his family even more anxious.
Zubiya gulped down the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat and slowly walked to the man crying in front of her and stood in front of him without removing her gaze off him.
Who was this man, this man who was shedding tears for her deceased mother while her father didn't even care to grieve for his wife more than the mandatory three days...
"Who are you? And... and how do you know my Ammi? Please.... please tell me.. I- I need to know." Zubiya said, almost begging for any answer.
"Your mother is - I mean, she was my maternal cousin. We were very close. So much that your father despised me for it even though I was a married man and already had a son. He had stopped her from keeping any contact with anyone except her mother and sister, that is your Nano and Khala. And then I heard he slowly stopped her from stepping out of the house. Having no contact we almost lost touch, but she kept sending me letters once or twice a year, telling me all about you and your brother, Rehan. I am sorry, my child. I am so sorry..." Usman stopped talking and took Zubiya's right hand in his.
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Zubiya shook her head not knowing what to say.
"But.. why are sorry?" Zubiya asked confusedly.
"Because it's my fault your mother had to ever marry an evil man like your father. He was my friend. Or so I thought. To take revenge on me he married your mother. And I couldn't help her in any form..." Usman explained and by the end he had covered his face with both of his hands.
"If so.. then I should be the one who is responsible for my Ammi's death." Zubiya said nonchalantly, not giving attention to the rest of the members who gave her a stunned look.
"What?!" Usman Ali choked out lifted his head and looked at her confusedly.
"If you are responsible for how my father met my Ammi then I am equally responsible for my mother's death. My father had forbidden my Ammi to step out of the house without his permission. But I was the one who coerced her to go out with me for some reason. Do you know that it didn't take us more than even ten minutes. Ten. Minutes. My father became so furious when he came to know about our outing that he returned back home right that moment. He came in and started shouting at Ammi that he was going to give her a final lesson.. final punishment for disobeying him. I tried to come in between them.. tried to tell him it was my fault.. that she didn't want to go.. that I coerced her to go out. That it was my fault, not hers. I begged him to punish me, not her. I begged Rehan bhai to stop father, but he stood by and just watched. He didn't do anything. My father then hit mom and she fell on the ground. I waited for her to pick herself up, I tried to help her but she didn't move. She just laid there. I thought she had lost consciousness. Her eyes were closed. But she wasn't breathing. My Ammi wasn't breathing. I was in denial. I was just thinking.. no.. it can't be. That she will wake up anytime now. She will. I waited for her. And waited. But she didn't. She had passed away right then and there. So, I can say right that- that it was my fault? That I'm the one responsible for her untimely death? If I hadn't forced her to go out with me.. she would have been still alive today... right?!" Zubiya asked everyone, looking for an answer.
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For a moment, she almost seemed deranged. Asfandyar felt this weird feeling inside him as he watched her speak. His heart ached that she had to go through so much in such short span of time. Loss of a parent, her reputation being tarnished because of a mistake that every teenagers make and then being kicked out of her own house in the middle of night. How much more could one take? Seeing her coming apart piece by piece, awoke many emotions in him that he had never known he could feel. Anger. Hatred. Disbelief. Disgust. All against her family members. He wanted to keep her away from them. He wanted to protect her. Care for her. He looked down trying to control his emotions when his eyes fell on the ring on his left ring-finger. He was reigned back to his very own reality.
"I know... you are going to say the same thing that I have been trying to explain myself for the past five months. That it is fate. Nothing is set in stone. Therefore you are definitely not responsible for my parents' marriage. For all the grief that she had gone threw her whole life. Perhaps Allah wanted to test her patience in this manner. Perhaps it was meant for her to die in this manner." Zubiya finished speaking and stood there numbly.
Lubna slowly walked to Zubiya and took her into her arms, where Zubiya stood still for several minutes. Having forgotten how it felt to be embraced by a caring person, the feeling that she didn't know she had badly craved, she started shaking slowly. She felt like she couldn't breathe and started gasping for air. She heard an unusual sound coming from near her, when she felt another set of arms around her... perhaps the other girl's and realized that it was her own voice. Her grieving cries. She clutched tightly at the woman embracing her... trying to imagine her as her Ammi. She cried and cried until she finally let it all out off her chest.
Finally.
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