《Journey to the Old Era (Drisana's Mahabharat #1)》Chapter 12
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After living in Kichakas for another month or so the pandavs started to travel again. On the third day of travelling, they camped at a open space in the forest area. They decided to roam the surrounding area in search of some fruits as they didn't have much to eat.
"Nakul and Sahdev, go into that direction. Arjun and I'll go into this side. Bheem stay here." Said Yudhisthir.
"No!" All looked at Drisana as she shouted. "I mean. I wanted to go too Jyesth."
"Why don't you come with me and Jyesth?"asked Arjun with a mischievous smile.
Drisana signed Sahdev for help. He understood and said,
"You go with Nakul. I've something else to do."
Drisana nodded immediately and started towards the direction Nakul was supposed to go. Nakul followed her.
Drisana wanted to talk to Nakul about them. After admitting her feelings to herself, she decided it was best to talk and let it out. She loved him and wanted to be with him. She figured she wasn't going back to kaliyug ever. And if there was a chance to go back, she didn't think she could do it. The only thing that was stopping her from the start was knowing that he was going to marry Draupadi. But Bheem was also supposed to marry Hidimba, right? If that didn't happen, there might be a chance that the pandavs marriage with Draupadi also wouldn't happen. But if it happened, then what she would do.
Well, she decided she didn't care anymore. 'The destiny will hand over whatever you choose.' That was Krishnas words and she had decided to choose Nakul. He was hers. Period. She wasn't going to let him go or share him with anyone.
"Nakul, I wanted to talk." Drisana asked him as he was searching some bushes.
"About what?" He said without looking at her fighting a smile. He knew what was going in her head.
"About us. I mean you and me-" Drisana said helplessly. How the hell people talk about this? Nakul turned to look at her with a blank expression. Okay. He wasn't going to make it easier. Drisana started taking a deep breath.
"When I first came here, I was confused. I thought I'd leave after sometime. I never felt like belonging. Even before coming here, I was always alone. But after meeting your family, I formed a bond with you all. I found my mother in Mata, big brother in Jyesth and bhrata Bheem, a friend in bhrata Arjun and Sahdev. And you became a companion who had been there for me. Since I came here, you were always there for me, looking after me, taking care, understanding my unspoken words. But still I thought I'd leave and so I didn't wanted to get involved. Then when I decided to remain with you after Varanavat, I still wanted to remain aloof. Because I didn't wanted to get hurt. I didn't trust you to always remain beside me. I was afraid, I still am that some day something will happen and you won't be with me anymore. Even through all the hardships in these past months you never failed to look after me. You were there even though I gave you no hope. And for the first time in my life, I feel like I belong. I feel at peace. I feel happy. I feel loved. And I'm afraid of losing this. I'm afraid of losing you. I want to be with you. Not for a limited time period. But for my whole life." One lone tear slipped her eye. Nakul closed his eyes for a moment. This was the first time they were talking about their feelings. Then opening his eyes he stepped close to her and cupped her face with one hand, brushing the tear with his thumb.
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"Since the day you came into our life, I have wanted you beside me. You thought about leaving me and I thought about binding you. You didn't wanted to get hurt and I promised myself I won't let you get hurt. You didn't trust me to remain beside you and my only wish is to remain beside you till my last breath. You never gave me hope but you are my hope. I didn't take care of you, I took care of myself. When Jyesth said he'll drop you to Dwarka, for the first time in life I thought to oppose him. Dwarka was a long way and we could easily get separated and lost. That was in my mind. Am I selfish for wanting that? For wanting you? I don't care. And I don't regret it. You are afraid of losing and there is nothing I'm more sure of then remaining with you. You are afraid something will separate us and I know there is nothing powerful enough to separate me from you except death. All I need is for you to accept me, Drisana. Will you accept my love? Will you accept me not only in your life, but also in your heart, your mind, your soul? Will you be my wife?" Nakul said staring straight at her eyes.
Tears were now falling freely from her eyes. She didn't know what was in store for them in future. But in fear of the future, she wasn't going to let the present slip through her fingers. Holding his hand that cupped her face, she nodded finding it difficult to form words. Nakul kept his forehead on hers with a smile on his lips.
"Last chance to think again. I'll not let you go Nakul. And I don't have the same sense of Dharma like you all. I won't hesitate to do anything to be with you and I'll never share you with another woman." Drisana said staring at his eyes.
"There's no chance you can escape me, Drisana. As a kshatriya, I'm bound by my duty. But you'll be the only woman in my life, my heart, my mind and my soul not because you want it to be, but because I'm not capable of giving it to another. It's not a promise. It's the truth." Nakul said, his eyes speaking of the honesty of his words.
"Then you're stucked with me." Drisana said with a smile.
"Gladly." Nakul replied while touching his lips to her forehead with closed eyes.
After sometime they returned to see a sage sitting with the rest of them.
"They've come too. Putra Nakul, putri Drisana, this is sage Vedavyas." Kunti said. Sage Vedavyas was staring keenly at Drisana trying to decipher something. Drisana was feeling nervous with his presence. She greeted him after Nakul.
"Parnipat." The sage didn't reply instead kept on staring at her. Then he came to stand right in front of her. Everyone was confused by this.
"You have the heat and warmth of sun just like your name indicates. Kalyan ho.(bless you)" sage Vedavyas said finally. Then turning towards all he said,
"Gandharraj is still searching the ashes. There is a town nearby. Live there till you hear from me. You'll be safe there."
Devika felt something was kept from her, but chose to not say anything. She trusted them with her life.
After that soon they left with sage Vedavyas. He started to lead them to a place called Ekachakra.
"So? Fal mila (You got fruits)?" Arjun asked Nakul with a teasing smile. Arjun and Sahdev were in both sides of him. Since Nakul came back with Drisana after their confessions, both of their relieved smiles and secret glances towards each other was a clear indication of their changed relationship. It didn't take longer than a few moments for Arjun and Sahdev to catch up.
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"How could he not get, bhrata Arjun? Itni kathor tapasya jo ki hai. (He has done so hard penance for it.)"
"Tapasya meri, fal mila mujhe. Aap dono ki kya samassa? (I did the penance, I got the fruits. What is your problem?) Nakul said even though his cheeks were red.
"How shameless you have become, Nakul?" Sahdev gasped dramatically.
"Let it be, Sahdev. Now he has no shame, so he himself will talk to Jyesth and Mata. We don't need to help." Arjun said.
"Bhrata Arjun, you're my favourite bhrata. How can you leave me alone in front of Jyesth and Mata?" Nakul said with a sweet smile.
"No, anuj. You've become so bold. You only talk to Jyesth." Arjun said with an equally sweet smile and went ahead. Sahdev continued to tease Nakul while he thought how to convince Arjun.
Drisana went beside Arjun. And Arjun thought to tease her too.
"You're looking so happy since coming back from collecting 'fruits' Drisana. Maybe the fruits were a little bit more sweet." Arjun said. Blushing was Nakuls' job. She wasn't going to do that even though a little pink coloured her face.
"That I don't know. Should I ask Brihannala?" Drisana asked with an innocent face. Arjun immediately stopped with wide eyes.
"Tumhe kaise pata? (How do you know?)"
"Krishna hai mere bhrata.(Krishna is my brother.)"
"Dena mat kisiko bata.(Don't tell anyone)"
"I'll think about it. By the way, who is going to talk to Jyesth and Mata?" Drisana said with attitude. Arjun sighed and said,
"Now I know how Nakul got so bold. It's your influence only." Said Arjun. Then looking at Drisana's frown said with folding hands.
"I'll talk, devi."
"That's better. And one more thing. Elders should be married first." Drisana said with a smile. Arjun frowned and then smirked after a moment getting her meaning.
Sage Vedavyas took them to a house of a Brahman and left after promising to come back after sometime.
They started to live there. The pandavs would go out during the day to seek alms. Devika and Drisana would do the household chores refusing to let Kunti do anything. At the evening when Pandavs returned with the alms, they would offer it to their Mata and she would divide it into two parts. Giving one to Bheem, the other part would be shared by the rest four, Drisana, Devika and Kunti.
After several days of staying there, Drisana thought to talk to Kunti. So finding an opportunity when Devika went outside to bring water, she started.
"Mata, Devika jiji is so nice. Doesn't let us do any work and look after everyone so well." Drisana said.
"Yes. That girl is so innocent and naive." Kunti said with a smile.
"Yes. And she respects all so much, specially Jyesth." Drisana said looking carefully towards Kunti. Kunti's expression didn't change.
"Yes, that is true. And I am not blind, putri. I can understand your meaning." Kunti said still smiling.
"What are you saying Mata?" Drisana asked with an innocent expression.
"Exactly what you're trying to make me understand, putri. Yudhisthir means the one who stays calm even during a war. And for the first time I saw him restless when it came to Devika. I'm a mother. Nothing escapes my eyes. Not Yudhisthirs restlessness and not Nakuls patience." Kunti said.
Drisana was surprised. Kunti acted oblivious to it all, but she surely wasn't. Drisana was trying hard to control her blush as she looked here and there. Damn it! It was Nakuls job. Kunti chuckled and said,
"Don't worry, putri. I was going to talk to Yudhisthir soon."
Here, while the Pandavs were roaming around seeking alms, Nakul and Sahdev were gesturing Arjun for something and Arjun was making a crying face. After taking a deep breath, Arjun called Bheem.
"Bhrata Bheem, Devika is such a nice girl. She's so sweet, so polite, so caring and she looks after Mata so well." Arjun said glancing at Yudhisthir. Yudhisthir remained unaffected.
"Yes, that's true, Arjun. And she is also expert in cooking." Bheem said smiling.
"Yes. You know whoever marries her will be so lucky." Arjun said.
"Where has her marriage talk come from?" Bheem asked confused.
"Not now, but someday she'll marry and leave us. How nice it would be if she always remains with us? Right Jyesth?" Arjun asked innocently. Yudhisthir gave him a blank look and said,
"Let's go in that direction. Maybe we'll get some alms from there."
When Yudhisthir returned that day, Kunti decided to talk to him at night. So she called Yudhisthir when everyone was sitting outside.
"Yes, Mata?"
"Putra, have you thought anything about Devika?" Kunti asked gently.
"What about her, mata?" He asked.
"Devika has gained a new life. And to lead this life she'll need a life partner. She's a very nice girl and already a part of our family. If you have no objection, I'd like to make her my daughter-in-law." Kunti said with a smile.
"Mata your every wish is my command. But I don't think, I'm the right person for her. I don't want her to marry me because she feels indebted to me. If you wish, I can search a good man for her." Yudhisthir said to Kunti. Kunti understood her sons concern and advised him to talk to Devika. But Yudhisthir said he didn't wanted her to be uncomfortable or feel obliged. Kunti couldn't understand what to do.
Unknown to them, Drisana heard everything when she was coming to drink water. She was lost in thoughts. It was true. They assumed Devika would be happy with this. But what if she didn't really want this and felt obliged to do so. She had to know for sure what Devika wanted.
Yudhisthir left after talking to his mother. He was again standing alone staring at the stars. Someone approached him and said,
"I don't understand one thing."
"What?"
"How to get answers without asking the question?"
"You won't get an answer without questioning. And it's better to question than being quite."
"What about assuming?"
"One can assume depending on the situation. But the only way to confirm that assumption is to talk."
"And what if we assume things and take decisions based on that without talking first?"
"That would be wrong."
"Then why are you doing wrong, Jyesth?"
Yudhisthir looked at Bheem confusingly.
"Worshiping someone, making someone ideal is not wrong. We also worship our mother. We brothers look upto you as our ideal. But that doesn't mean you take advantage of us. We always follow your every word, because we trust you and it is by our choice. You should also give that choice to Devika and trust her to make the decision that her heart wants." Bheem left after saying so.
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