Very angsty

What's wrong with me?

That's what kept bouncing around in her head. She didn't like guys, not at all. Well, they were cute. But not like how girls were, girls are beautiful and graceful and just..wow.

She shook her head, her hands turning into fists next to her temples

"What is wrong with me?" She whispered to her self. This couldn't be normal, could it? She didn't know anyone who liked the same sex, let alone wanted to be with someone of the same sex. Was she broken? More than she thought? She knew she was messed up, after all she wasn't even completely human.

She hated that her mind kept drifting back to a certain kunoichi. Any time she was near her, her eyes would linger longer than they should, in places they shouldn't be. Why couldn't she be normal? Atleast a little bit?

She had two guys tripping all over them selves to try and impress her and 'steal her heart', it was nice, but she couldn't bring her self to like either of them, not more than friends that is. And she had tried, she had tried so damn hard, she had even kissed one of them. Her first kiss.. it should have been magical, but she felt nothing. If anything, she felt sick. She wished she could go back and never do it, but she didn't have that luxury.

She could feel the tears dropping onto her thighs as she sat on her bed, her head clutched in her hands. Her hair was down and undoubtedly a mess, unbrushed. Her father was out of town so she had no reason to get up and do something with her self, and it was summer, so no school. So for the last three days she did nothing but wallow in self pity in her room.

But tonight, tonight something changed in her. She didn't know what, and at the time she didn't care. She picked up her phone and stared at it for several long minutes, she opened up her contacts and went to messages, she had barely typed one word before her fingers froze, hovering over the letters. Was this a mistake? Another mistake she would never forget? She couldn't tell, but she had made up her mind. She to do this. She typed out a risky text, then deleted it. Deciding it's better said in person. She sent a simple

'Hey, can we talk? It's Imporant..meet me at my place?'

She let out a shaky breath, closing her eyes as hundreds of senerios played through her head,all of them bad. She had almost dropped her phone when she heard it go off. She hesitatantly looked at the text, feeling relief wash over her when she seen

'Sure. See you in five'

Oh god.

What was she going to say? She was on her way and probably less than five minutes away. What was she going to say? She hadn't planned anything, and she didn't want to sound like an idiot and what if-

What if she's not even interested in girls? What then? Would she reject her? Would she avoid her? Tease her? What if she told the others?

She could feel a block of ice begin to form in her chest and stomach, as well as a wave of nausea fighting to take over. She put a hand over her mouth, closing her eyes as she tried to fight away the negative thoughts; the thoughts that have been plaguing her for so long. She froze when she heard a knock at her window

Well, here we go.

she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm her frayed nerves and her shaking body

"Come in" she cringed at how weak her voice sounded.

Well, this is going to be hell

she sighs as she hears the window slide open, she slowly opens her eyes and looks over at the figure standing in her room; Karai.

Karai put a hand on her hip and tilted her head

"What's goin on princess?" She raises an eyebrow slightly, taking in her disheveled appearance. It was clear she hadn't slept at all, and something was deeply troubling her. She watched as April fidgetted and played with her hands, then shifted from different sitting positions. She was shaking.

Karai dropped her hand from her hip, her eyebrows scrunching together slightly, she stepped closer, which froze the other girl

"What's going on?" She repeated, afraid she had been threatened or hurt, so her eyes scanned April's for any wounds or bruises, but found nothing. That was a relief, but she was still a little afraid. Whatever it was, was giving her alot of trouble.

"I..I have something to tell you..but..but.." April wasn't looking at her, she couldn't

"But..?" Karai stepped forward some

"..promise you won't hate me.." her voice was a whisper at this point. This caused Karai great confusion, what could she say that would make her hate her?

"I won't hate you, I promise" she says and crouches in the obviously terrified girl, gently holding her shaking hands. She wasn't sure if this was comforting, or making matters worse. It was a couple of minutes before she spoke again, but karai didn't mind waiting.

"I've had these...feelings...a-and I didn't know what they were at first or..how to deal with them.." she was quiet, but she wouldn't look at Karai. And for once in Karai's life, she had no idea what to expect next, nor did she have any idea about what was going on. Was this about one of the turtles? Or maybe she had different types of feelings? Was she wanting to run away from it all? The last one wouldn't surprise her, who wouldn't want to get away from their hellish life.

"I-I still don't really know what to do about them besides..besides telling you. And i..just..please don't hate me okay?" April finally looked up at her; with tear filled eyes. Karai gave a reassuring smile, she was starting to become convinced she did want to leave April sighed and looked down again, glancing at their hands

"I..I like you..as more than a friend..a-and I know I shouldn't and I've tried to stop it but-" she was interrupted with a kiss, a soft and sweet, yet hesitant kiss. She was stunned. Karai pulled away from her, smiling, smiling. April couldn't speak, she made a few noises that we're supposed to be words, but her brain couldn't function properly; had she imagined that? It felt so real yet-

"I've felt the same." That statement made her thoughts stop, and look at her in shock, she once again made a few inaudible sounds, then finally got a few words out

"How long-?" Her voice was uneven

"Honeslty?" Karai glanced away a little, giving a small laugh

"Since we fought the first time" she had a light blush dusting her cheeks, a look on her face April hadn't yet seen. April could feel so many emotions swirling around in her head, she felt like she was burning up and she wanted to cry and scream at the same time. She loved and hated this feeling at the same time. She looked up at Karai with hope filled eyes, that was enough for both of them to know what she meant. Karai simply smiled at her, before leaning in and gently kissing her cheek. She leans back and brings her hands up, gently wiping away her tears, then going back to holding her hands. After a moment of staring they gently rest their forheads together and close their eyes, enjoying the moment; as awkward and sudden as it was.

Karai sat with her like that for a couple of minutes, then slowly moved away. She gave a kind smile

"I'll call Shini and let her know I won't be home tonight"

"You don't have to do that, I'll be al-"

"What kind of girlfriend would I be if I left you alone like this?" She had a partial smirk on her face, amused as April got noticably flustered and nervous

"G-girlfriend?!" Her voice was high pitched and cracked, her eyes wide, her face redder than her hair

"Unless you'd rather-" Karai started, but was interrupted

"No its not-" April let's out a sigh, then smiles

"I'd love to." Hearing that, Karai's smirk turned into a smile, she gently kisses April's forhead

"Get your self cleaned up, after the call we can eat, then you need to sleep" she says as she stands, taking her phone out of her waist band and strolling out of the room, dialing a number.

April sat for a moment, a million questions running through her head. She opened her eyes and nodded, giving a determined look to her self. The questions faded away and the voices disappeared, and she felt like she could breathe again. She stood and went to the bathroom attached to her bedroom; she cringed at her reflection. Karai really kissed her when she looked like that?

Damn..she must really like me

as she thought that her cheeks heated up and a smile tugged at her lips. She got a hand towel and got it wet, using cold water. She put the cold rag on her face and sat like that for a moment. It soothed her aching eyes and brain, as well as the swelling in her eyes. She heard karai say good bye and hang up, so she set the towel on the side of the sink and brushed her hair.

Well, atleast I look a little less dead now

she though, almost laughing at her self. She walked out of the bathroom and to the living room, not seeing karai she went into the kitchen; finding the kunoichi going through her fridge, probably trying to find something to eat. That's when April remembered, she needed to go shopping

"Um..there's some pasta we could make?" She offered, a nervous smile on her face as Karai stood up and looked at her, she nodded a little. April went over and got the ingredients, setting them on the counter. The two began to make their small and simple meal, sharing the occasional joke to make the other laugh, mostly just silly things. Once their meal was made they put it on paper plates and began to eat, just staying in the kitchen. They chatted as they ate, but April had most of the meal, Karai didn't eat very much, nor was she hungry, plus, April hadn't seemed to of eaten in atleast a day or more. Once they had both finished they threw away their garbage and put the dishes in the sink; or atleast, Karai did. She had sent April to her room to get ready for bed.

Karai walked quietly into April's room to find her sitting on her bed, playing with some of her hair. She crawled onto the bed and over to her, then hooked her arm around her waist, laying down. She pulled April down beside her, who had let out a cute little squeak like noise; which brought a smile to Karai's face. Karai was mentally thanking her earlier self for not coming in her full gear, and was instead in her yoga pants and long sleeved shirt. She smiled, a loving, happy smile at the read head in front of her, who's face was as red as her hair. Karai leaned over and kissed her nose

"Sleep..my princess" she has a hint of a smirk on her face, but there was no malicious intent behind it. April gave a mute nod and curled into a ball slightly, her head resting against Karai's chest. She gently pulled the blanket over her girlfriend and her self, wrapping her arms around the shorter girl. Soon enough both had fallen asleep, although only one of them really needed it.