Tiredly, I make my way inside the apartment, tripping over something by the door. I stop in my tracks as I listen for Kathryn. When I don't hear anything, I close the door behind me, sure not to wake the brunette up. I sigh and kick my shoes off, my fingers searching the surrounding area for the wall or light switch. Either or would really help me right now.

However, my hands land on a body causing me to yelp. "Why are you screaming?" Kathryn laughs at my reaction. Shutting my eyes, I allow my hands to trail her body landing on her waist, pulling her closer. "Because it's dark and I can barely keep my eyes open. What are you doing up?"

I unintentionally smile when I feel the woman's lips on my chin. I move my head down, capturing her lips. I quickly break the kiss, yawning. "God Case, what did you eat? Your breath smells like garlic and onions" my girlfriend gags.

"Caramelized onion and garlic soup. It actually tasted really good, though maybe my breath is telling you otherwise." The woman hums. "Take me to the bed, I can't stay up any longer."

She obeys, pulling me into the room. Once the back of my legs hit the bed, she pushes me over. I fall onto the fluffy cushion. I feel Kathryn's slender fingers unbuttoning my pants before pulling them over my hips and down to my ankles. "I know you're getting turned on from stripping me but I am seriously not in the mood to have 4 hours of sex with you."

The woman chuckles, climbing into bed with me. "Not at all, baby. How was your night? Did you get along with everyone?"

Smiling, I nod my head. My eyes close and the only sound heard is our breathing. "While you were gone, I missed you a lot" Kathryn whispers into my ear. "Yeah? Would I be an asshole if I said I didn't really miss you?"

"No. I think in your situation, I would understand. You were too busy having fun with your friends that for once you could escape your clingy and crazy girlfriend, even if it was just for a few hours."

I let out a breath as I glance at the blonde. I could see her smiling in the dark, but her eyes weren't on me. "I realized that when you go off to college..." her voice cracked mid-sentence.

"You're so young. You just made 19 and you're not ready to settle down. But I am, I'm ready to start a family. In three years I'll be 30, Casey."

The brunette sits up, eyes on me as she continued. "That's what's so fucked about us. The age gap. You're not at the stage where you want to commit to one person. What if you leave and you realize that life with me is impossible? I've been diagnosed with PTSD, DID, Depression. That's too much to handle as a 19-year-old woman. I'm going to miss you like crazy and maybe your absence is going to cause episodes."

Where was this all coming from? It was so sudden, so unexpected. I swallow the lump in my throat as I hear the woman continue to vent.

"Fuck. I'm sorry, I've been rambling this whole time and you're tired. Shit, Casey, I'm sorry. I just... I was thinking maybe, maybe it's not the best time for us to be in a relationship. All I've been doing for the past few months was cause you stress on top of stress."

Hearing the words fall from her lips causes my heart to drop in the pit of my stomach. Where was this coming from? I sit up, moving over to the nightstand and turning on the lamp.

Finally, I'm able to take in Kathryn's appearance. I could tell she had been crying. No wonder it was so dark in here, she was hiding from me.

I move towards my girlfriend, cupping her face. "Kathryn, where's this coming from? Are you okay? Did something happen while I was gone?" I bombard the beauty with questions. She sniffs, eyes avoiding my gaze.

"Do you still love me, Casey?"

My heart aches at the doubt laced in her question. I watch her for a few seconds. I lift her chin, causing her to finally look at me. Smiling, I bring her lips to mine. "Of course I love you, Ryn."

"Do you think I'm clingy?"

"You're not clingy, Ryn. You're affectionate and caring. And yeah sometimes you always want to be up under me but that doesn't make you clingy. It shows that you love me, you love spending time with me and I'm the same way."

My eyes scan over her puffy face from crying. "You've been through a lot these past few months. And I know it's going to be hard when I'm gone, trust me, I know. But baby, you're strong and smart and independent. Even when you can't physically hold me or kiss me, you're going to make it through the day. We'll text and call and face-time. It won't be like the real deal but it's good enough. As long as you got me and I got you. I'm not letting you go a second time, Ryn."

Brown eyes meet mine, "But--"

"No if, ands, or buts. I don't know if you've noticed but I move faster than others. I had my own apartment at 15, though I probably can't claim it as mine since my father paid rent, my point is I lived by myself for 3 years. I had my own car at 16. I went through that 'not committing to one person' phase. I fell in love, I graduated, and now here I am."

My hands fell from her face, down to her hands. "Kathryn, I don't know how many times I've got to tell you this, but I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me until we both mutually hate each others' guts. Yeah sure, 7 months is not a really long time to be in a relationship, but I got into this relationship with the intent of getting married. If I didn't want you, I would be gone. I don't care that I'm 19 and you're 26, I want this."

"Kathryn," I sigh bringing her knuckles to my lips, "I want you. And all your trauma. And I know you're going to be doubtful 5 days from now or maybe even a month from now. Each time I am going to tell you that I love you. I'm not leaving. Now please let's go to sleep, my eyes are burning."

The woman eyes me a bit longer before nodding her head in agreement. I turn off the light and we lay back down. Kathryn cuddles into my side, throwing an arm and a leg over my body. Smiling, I turn towards her, wrapping my arm around her waist and kissing her forehead. "I love you, okay?"

She nods her head, "I love you too."

- - - - -

Waking up the next morning, I'm not at all surprised to see the brunette hovering over my body. She smiles, leaning down to kiss me. I accept her kiss, loving the taste of orange juice on her lips. "When did you get home last night? I don't even remember you coming to bed."

I raise my brows in confusion before realization settles in. "What time did you go to bed?" I question. Kathryn shrugs her shoulders, "I think around 10-ish. I was waiting for you but I was pretty bored so I just fell asleep."

I hum and lazily roll over. So all of that last night wasn't necessarily my Kathryn. I close my eyes and inhale. "You sound annoyed with the day already. You can't be, I have our whole date set up. You're going to be so in love with me, you'll cancel your registration for college."

The latter statement forces a chuckle from my lips. "Doubt it" I tease turning towards my girlfriend. Her deep brown eyes scan over my face, lovingly. She moves her hand from under her body, pushing my messy and curly mane from my face. Fingers caress my cheek, a warm tingly sensation bubbling in the pit of my stomach.

This woman is too beautiful in her natural. Bed-hair sprawled about, lashes naturally curly and eyes sparkling in the sunrays sneaking past the blinds. I seriously wondered what I had done to land a spot in bed, half-naked with such a goddess-like woman. I've never felt so happy in my life. There was oddly always a feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me there was something missing. And now, 7 months in, I'm almost certain the thing that had been missing was Kathryn Howard.

Suddenly, I'm reminded of last night. Remembering I only a month and a half until I would move to the west coast. Ever since she moved in next door to me, being more than 3 miles away from her, seemed almost prohibited. Despite that one time I managed 24 hours in Utah before she appeared.

"You're staring" I hear, causing me to smile. Biting my lip, I move my eyes over her face, "You're beautiful." Brows rise in amusement.

"Let's stay in" I spit, rolling over to eye my girlfriend. The woman's face falls, letting me know she really had big plans for us today, only to hear me suggest that we didn't do anything. Knocking on the door grabs our attention and she smiles once again and it's not until she gets up from the bed that I notice that she's dressed in only an orange tank and matching booty shorts with white stripes on the side.

She disappeared down the hallway. Curiously, I followed the woman, finding her still at the door. "Yes, thank you" her sweet voice dismisses the person before shutting the door. My eyes fall onto the box of pizza and 2 liters of sprite. I lean against the wall, crossing my arms over my chest. Kathryn turned towards me, smiling plastered onto her pretty lips.

She made sure her door was locked before pushing past me and heading towards the room. I followed behind her, yet again. Setting the pizza on the bed and placing the soda on the floor, her eyes landed on me. "I guess it's a good idea I already had that plan, huh?"

I smile at the woman, my feet guiding me over to her and pulling her into my arms. "Have I ever told you how perfect you are?"

Kathryn shook her head, opening the box to reveal the beautiful masterpiece of stuffed crust spinach pizza. The aroma hitting my nostrils like a punch delivered from a boxer. I drool in delight, plopping down on side of my girlfriend, wondering why we hadn't stayed in the living room, the bed might get messy.

"I thought it would be good for us to rely on talking as entertainment instead of the media. We can move into the living room if you want to though. Since today is in celebration of your birthday, you get to say what we can and cannot do."

So perfect. "Talking is fine with me" I grab a piece of pizza, loving how cheesy it was. Kathryn smiled, taking a slice for herself. She bit into the heavenly dish, moaning deeply as she did so. Once she swallowed her first bite, she started the conversation off. It was smooth easy and simple. Comfortable.

"How was yesterday? Was Bella a struggle?" she questioned, taking another bite. I cover my mouth, eyes on the brunette sitting beside me. "Uh no actually, it was fun and she wasn't a pain in the ass as much as I thought she'd be. I think she tried flirting with me but out of familiarity. Because we were with our old group from freshman year, so for her, it was like we were back together."

Kathryn frowned, showing her obvious dislike for the situation.

"And Ross, well Rosita goes by she/they. She's trans-non-binary and also pansexual. So in the alphabet mafia, she'd be a lot of letters. It makes me kind of jealous, I'm just a lousy L, for lesbian not loser."

The brunette laughs, wiping her greasy fingers against her shorts. "I'm glad you had fun, baby. I always feel like I'm keeping you away from the world since I'm not working yet. Pretty soon you're going to go off seeing the world at least on the west coast."

Swallowing the last bit of my pizza, I keep my eyes on the beautiful woman. "If you don't get a job by the time I leave, maybe you should do a bit of traveling of your own. Have you been anywhere besides Utah and Texas?"

Kathryn opened and closed her mouth several times, before sighing and shaking her head. The revelation caused me to smile. "Well, how about we go somewhere before then? I've always wanted to go to the french quarters in Louisiana."