onyx

I couldn't do it.

No matter how much I tried, my wolf refused to come forward. I could feel him within, but I couldn't get him to come out. It didn't make any sense to me, but I had to figure it out soon.

I wouldn't get left behind.

"Close your eyes, feel for your wolf, and picture yourself shifting," Everest instructed.

We were in the backyard of his home trying to crack the mystery known as my inability to shift.

Following Everest's instructions, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I feel my wolf, and I try to imagine myself shifting. The issue is, I don't really know how to do that. With the few memories I have, I remember my parents saying I was a late shifter. The only reason I managed to shift in the first place was because of the doctor that was with Michael and Dexter.

"How did you manage to learn how to shift?" I asked Everest.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Unlike most, I didn't shift on my birthday."

"You didn't?"

Everest smiled and shook his head. "I only managed to shift a week after my birthday and that was because of my brother; he scared the shift out of me."

I snort at that just as the back door opens. A man walks in and stares between Everest and I with a confused expression. Everest's stands with a smile as he moves to pull the man close to him.

"Who is he?" The man questions.

"Hello you too," Everest rolls his eyes. "This is Onyx, Gaius' mate. Onyx this is my mate, Novak."

Novak eyes his mate for a minute before turning back to me. "Why is he here?"

"Because I invited him?" Everest scoffs. "We're trying to figure out why he can't shift."

Novak raises an eyebrow. "Ev, I don't think you of all people should be the one to try and help him figure that out."

Everest scowls at his mate and pushes him away. "Do you have any ideas then? Since you know so much more than I do."

Novak shrugs. "Back at the Silver Night Pack, when a wolf didn't shift at a certain point, they purposely angered the wolf to try and get it to come forward. I wouldn't try that though."

I frown. "Why not?"

"Forcing a shift can cause more harm than good. Your wolf will come forward when it believes the time is right."

I groan at that. "Well I need it to believe right now is the right time."

Everest offered me a sympathetic smile while Novak just shrugged.

"We'll keep trying," Everest promises.

Sighing, I nodded before closing my eyes and trying again.

Come on...

Searching within, I looked for my wolf. He was there, I could feel him.

Come forward.

I tried to picture myself shifting. It was hard to imagine though. While everyone else had seen my wolf, I didn't know what it looked like. The only idea I had to go off of was my human features; most of the time, a wolf's coat reflects the human's hair color and the eyes were usually similar too.

It felt as if my wolf was coming forward. Hope filled me as I tried harder to connect with him.

"That's it!" Everest encourages.

It felt as if I wasn't in complete control anymore. I was being pushed back- it was like I was watching a movie through someone else's eyes. Still aware, but not in control.

"Try to shift," Novak instructs.

I try to get my body to change into my wolf form, but as I do so, the progress we had just made feels as if it's disappearing. I'm thrusted back into control and the presence of my wolf is no longer as strong as it just was.

"What the hell?!" I yell out.

"It was a good try," someone says from behind me.

I turn around and see Gray leaning against the back door.

"I'll get it," I tell him.

Gray nods. "You will, just not in time to go with us."

My head snaps around and I move towards him.

"Gray-"

"Don't, Onyx," he shakes his head. "I know you want to come, but at this point you're only going to end up hurting yourself."

"But-"

"We'll bring him back," Gray says. "You don't need to worry."

Worrying is all I've been doing.

A scowl forms on my face and I turn away from him. Gray shakes his head before turning to Novak.

"Are you going to be okay coming with us?" He questions.

Novak nods. "I'll be okay. I'm past that."

My mind drifts back to what Everest had told me about Novak and I feel bad. While I've been trying so hard to be able to go, he's been fighting his inner demons to be able to go. To be able to bring my mate home.

"If you don't think you can, let me know," Gray tells him before turning to Everest. "Stay here with Onyx for me."

Everest's mouth opens before he closes it and nods. "Yes, Alpha."

His eyes find Novak's and the two seem to be talking in their link.

"I don't need Everest to watch me," I tell Gray.

Gray rolls his eyes. "You can have Everest stay with you, or you can spend the night at our five star hotel called The Cellar- take your pick."

Huffing, I stand to leave and Everest moves to follow me.

"Onyx," Gray calls out. "We're almost there."

I knew what he meant. We almost had Gaius home, we were almost done with this crazy mess called life, we were almost there.

"We are," I agreed even though it didn't quite feel like it.

Everest threw an arm around my shoulder. "Why don't we get some food and then we'll try again."

"Why would we still try?" I ask confusedly.

"What? You don't want to be able to shift? Even if you can't go with them, you can still learn."

Part of me wanted to say no, but as I watched Novak leave with Gray, I knew this was his way of taking his mind off his mate. I felt bad that he had to worry because of a problem I caused so I nodded in agreement.

"We're almost there," I say, both to him and myself.