《Out of The Blue》Chapter 26
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"Can I get a refill?" I asked Hollis from where I sat at the far end of the bar, lifting my now-empty wine glass.
Tucking the rag he'd been using to wipe down the bar top into his back pocket, he nodded, and grabbed the bottle of red Mara and I had been drinking for the last hour. Two glasses down, who knows how many to go.
"Better make it another for me too," Mara said.
"Can do," Hollis said, pouring generously into both of our glasses. "And just so you both know, it's about to get busy in here, so if you need anything else, just flag me down."
I nodded with understanding, and with a quick glance around, saw he was right. When we'd arrived, there'd only been a few other tables occupied, but now, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the tide crawled up the beach, The Watering Hole was filling up with locals and tourists alike. All trying to enjoy what was left of the summer.
After tipping my glass to clink lightly against Mara's, I took a sip, and from the look on my friend's face, I knew she wanted to say something but was holding her tongue. She'd brought me out tonight to try and put some pep back in my step after a fairly bleak week, and to presumably get some answers out of me, but all I'd really done so far was steer the conversation in her direction or talk about how Eric was fitting in at Wilma's.
Not exactly the type of exciting gossip a best friend would want.
Sighing, I relented and said, "Go ahead and ask about it."
An immediate sheepish expression filled Mara's features. Light eyes and a guilty smile. "Are you sure? We can just keep drinking. Or people watching."
The corner of my mouth tipped upwards ever so slightly. "No, it's okay. We can talk about Ryan."
"Thank god," she exhaled, reaching over to squeeze my forearm. "I've had to refrain myself from asking, but what the hell happened? Did y'all break up? You've been out of sorts since he left."
Dropping my gaze to the bar top, I ran a finger slowly around the rim of my glass. "We may have had a fight a few days before he left."
"About what?" she asked. "About him moving back to Boston?"
"Sort of."
Mara let a prolonged silence stretch between us, waiting to see if I'd offer up anything else, but when I didn't, she said, "Sloane." A pause until I finally met her eyes to see nothing but sincere support. "What happened?"
The answer? I'd been scared. Scared of what came next, knowing that it could push me out of my comfort zone. I'd overthought everything, and with all the noise in my head—conjuring different scenarios around how everything could fall apart—I'd acted in an abrupt fashion. Because looking back on my confrontation with Ryan, I knew I'd been the one in the wrong. Had he screwed up by letting my dad know my plans for the store? Yes, but it hadn't been malicious or purposeful on his part. I, however, had took hold of that one thread—his one mistake—and yanked it until I unravelled everything between us. Giving into the insecurities bouncing around inside my brain that were screaming the two of us wouldn't make it long distance. That it'd be too stressful.
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And I regretted it. Massively.
"I screwed up, Mara, that's what happened," I admitted before taking a large sip of wine. "I told him that I didn't want to give long distance a try. Not with him."
Understanding settled on my best friend's features, because she'd guessed where my true feelings lay weeks ago, I simply hadn't wanted to admit it. "Because you're in love with him," she said gently, yet still matter-of-factly.
I mustered a wobbly smile and nodded.
"Oh, Sloane," she said, awkwardly wrapping her arms around me in a consoling hug. "What did he say after that? Was there anger? Hurt? Has he tried reaching out?"
I chewed nervously on my bottom lip as I replayed the scene in my head. "I could tell he was shocked. And hurt." I felt an invisible hand clench around my heart, remembering the look on his face. His voice. "He wanted us to try and... well... he mentioned wanting to ask me to come to Boston, but deliberately not because he knew Neptune Bay was my home."
She drew back, blinking in disbelief. "He did what now? How did you respond?"
I cringed as I said, "I ran."
"Sloane!"
"What? Do you want to hear me say that I regret it? Because I do. I was afraid of things changing. Of me changing so many things to accommodate a guy."
"This isn't just any guy though. It was Ryan, who, in case you didn't notice, is just as heads over heels in love with you as you are with him. Why else would he have even thought about asking you to move to Boston?"
I was ashamed that I didn't have an answer for her.
"Has he at least texted? Called?"
"He did while he was still in town, but since he left—" I shrugged and shook my head. "—nothing. He's probably been sucked into hockey and has forgotten all about the woman he had a summer fling with."
"Now you know that's not true," Mara said. "And anyways, isn't he coming back to town this weekend to pick up Bowen? Maybe you'll find a moment to talk and fix things between you."
"We'll see," I replied, not at all wanting to get my hopes up. Because while I'd been wrong and could admit it, I didn't know if Ryan would be open to hearing an apology.
***
Opening my eyes the next morning, I immediately winced at the sun rays seeping through the blinds and brightening the room. My head pounded and my throat felt as though I hadn't had anything to drink in days. Though I knew that wasn't true; I'd had many glasses of wine the night before.
Despite how easy it would've been to stay holed up in bed and sleep off my hangover, with a glance at the clock on my nightstand, seeing it was nearing eight in the morning, I realized I was already running late. And while my dad would understand, I knew that I'd feel bad after the fact if I canceled on him. So, I rolled out of bed, shot a text off to let him know I would be there soon, and made my way to my bathroom to shower and get my hands on some ibuprofen.
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Having not wanted to overexert the small amount of energy I had by using my bike, I'd chosen to walk, and at around quarter to nine, finally arrived at my dad's house feeling only marginally better than I had when I'd awoken.
That was, until I stepped inside and smelt the wondrous aroma of bacon.
"Dad?" I called out as I moved towards the kitchen, rounding the corner to see him indeed frying bacon, as well as a skillet of potatoes and prepping a pan for eggs.
He tossed a smile over his shoulder as I entered. "Good morning. Feel free to grab the orange juice from the fridge, or a cup of coffee. Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes."
"Are you sure you don't want help?" I asked, hovering around the island.
"Now, your old man can still manage to get through breakfast without a mishap," he replied. "Though I may need your help when it comes to the cleanup."
"Well, that I can do," I mused, before following his orders and pouring myself a glass of orange juice, as I'd already downed a cup of coffee in hopes it'd help my headache before leaving my house.
Less than ten minutes later, the two of us were seated across from one another at the kitchen table, and I was greedily devouring the food in front of me.
"Not that I'm complaining in the slightest," I said after swallowing a large bite, "but what's the special occasion?"
"Does there have to be?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow as he sipped from his tea. When I sent him a flat look, he chuckled. "Okay, okay. Well, I figured you might be a wee worse for wear this morning, considering you mentioned going out with Mara last night, and when you texted later than usual, I thought you'd appreciate a nice breakfast."
Code for I could sense you were hungover and had just the thing to cure it.
"Well thank you," I replied, a tinge of embarrassment coloring my cheeks. "I do appreciate it."
"Glad to hear it." He glanced down at his plate, tapping his fork against the potatoes a few times before speaking again. "Though there was another thing I wanted to talk to you about."
My fork froze midair and I forced myself to swallow before I said, "What is it?"
"Now, I don't want you to worry—" Those words didn't necessarily invite comfort into my body, as I sat tense, listening to what he had to say. "—but I wanted to let you know that I've decided it's finally time that I move into the retirement home here in town."
Not at all words I was expecting to hear this morning.
"Oh, wow, uh," I stammered with wide eyes, trying to collect my thoughts. "Did something spark this or...?"
"It's something I've been mulling over for a while," he admitted, "but, I will say that watching you this past year—putting your own dreams aside to step up at the store, reconnecting with the Nyberg boy as well as your friends, all while trying to figure out what you truly want in life—well, I realized I've been a bit selfish."
"Dad—" I tried to shake my head to disagree, but he didn't let me finish.
"Let me say this, honey." He cleared his throat, reaching across the table to cradle my hands in his. "As a family, we've been dealt a lot of hardships, particularly in the last year or so, but everyone has to battle something. There are no easy rides in life, but you should be able to find the bright spots in the highs and the lows. You're just stepping into the prime of your life—where everything changes. And it'll be scary, but it'll also be exciting. You'll discover things you never knew about yourself while experiencing new adventures, and I have to say, you shouldn't have to factor your old man into any of your decisions." A whimper escaped my lips as I felt the tears that had been welling in my eyes begin to slowly fall. My dad, however, simply smiled. "So, while I made the decision to move into the retirement home because it was best for me, it's also best for you. You've stood by my side and supported me through my accident and my diagnosis, and while I appreciate it, it should've never been your responsibility. I'll be moving to a place with people I've known most of my life—my friends—and there'll be people there who are trained to look after me. To help me through the bad days following treatments and stand on the side when I have good days too. To give you peace of mind while you're out spreading your wings... whether that's here in Neptune Bay or somewhere else. I won't hold you back."
"I—I don't know what to say," I said, choked up as his words hit home.
He squeezed my hands. "You don't have to say anything, just promise me something."
"Anything."
"That once you settle things at Wilma's, you'll step away. You'll follow your dreams—whether that be going back to teaching or something entirely new—and more importantly, you'll listen to your heart."
There were unsaid words woven into his request, and I heard them loud and clear. Put your heart on the line. Don't be scared. Because when you let your fears win, you miss out on the best parts of life.
Getting up from my chair, I walked around the table, crouching down to wrap my arms around him. "I promise, dad," I said quietly, kissing him on the cheek. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
we're so close to the end! and considering I got myself a beautiful (purple!) new computer to write ALL the words on, I feel like my productivity will be high in the coming weeks. Can't wait to finish out Sloane and Ryan's story!
Remember to vote and leave your thoughts in the comments!
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