"And now a word from our sponsor, That New Faraday Fedora, "My-Nighty-Night-Cap"."

KA-BOOM!

WOW!

"That was close, good thing I called 1-800-Lid-Grid (1-800-543-4743) when I did."

"Yes it is." says the announcer "And now listeners, check out this special offer to get your own "My-Nighty-Night-Cap.".

"For the next fifteen minutes, call the toll free number to order your "My-Nighty-Night-Cap", the original Faraday Fedora."

"We all know that tin foil hats are so last century and only work on alien threats."

"With this new war eminent, satellite controlled weaponry is inevitable."

"With our new "My-Nighty-Night-Cap" you can sleep safely."

"Brought to you by the folks that brought you "My Pillow", "My Bathrobe", "My Slippers", "My Bed Pan", and more."

""My-Nighty-Night-Cap" is made with our newly developed alloy, "Bounceoffium"."

"This chicken wire like cap keeps its wearer safe from lazer attacks."

"It fits comfortably with its special "Now I Lay Me Down" filled liner."

"The cap is also adjustable to fit large or small heads."

"Protect yourself and your family now."

"Our caps will deflect blasts from lazers up to twenty feet away."

"If you call in the next fifteen minutes you will receive two "My-Nighty-Night-Caps" for the same low price of $29.95 (plus shipping and handling for two caps)."

"This offer is available for a limited time only."

"Don't be a target."

"And don't miss this offer."

"Act now."

"Deflect danger up to twenty feet away."

"And if you buy three or more "My-Nighty-Night-Caps", in the next fifteen minutes, you will receive FREE OF CHARGE our newest product for your travel protection, "My Umbrella"."

""My Umbrella" is made from the same special alloy developed for "My-Nighty-Night-Cap"."

"While on walks, protect yourself and others with your "My Umbrella"."

"When lazers rain down, this special alloy deflects the blasts up to twenty feet away."

"Same as our "My-Nighty-Night-Cap" Faraday Fedora."

"Get one for each member of your family for twenty feet of protection!"

"So call right now."

"Also, be sure to tell your neighbors about "My-Nighty-Night-Cap"."

"They will need to get our Star Wars protective product, because a twenty foot deflection could put the attack at their front doorstep, or worse."

"Remember we all sleep a lot better if we know we will wake up tomorrow."

"This product is not offered outside the United States Of America."

"So there is no chance that Putin is getting one."

"So, call our toll free number now."

"You'll be glad you hid."

"1-800-Lid-Grid (543-4743)"

"Order your "My-Nighty-Night-Cap" today."