《Her House, My Rules》Chapter 24
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Secrets can be poison. Secrets can follow your life until your last day. Secrets can open a dark gate to cause pain and sorrow in your pure heart. Secrets can turn you into someone else. Secrets can hurt the people you love silently. Secrets can fill your soul with regrets and old dangerous memories. Secrets can create emptiness inside your brain and make you act differently. When you hold dark secrets inside you for so long, they can manifest in you and perish good souvenirs under the devil's ground.
Secrets can also bring happiness but be careful, happiness is temporary.
When I was seven years old, I remember asking my dad. '' He told me ''. I was young and my intelligence was useless and brainless. I never knew what life was exactly. I never understood what he meant but I figured it out on my own. I've learned over the years that your body is the key. Without a body, you are nobody.
"May I?" Hazel entered my bedroom with a patient vibe. "We need to talk." Her words were like shadows of death. They killed me within seconds.
"Go ahead." I took off my white T-shirt and threw it on the bed, vaguely. Shirtless was my new signature. "It's your house anyway."
"We need to talk about us." She started with a serious tone. "You're my boyfriend and I respect that but you can't just interfere in my private conversation with my own family. My parents were right in front of us, you were so inconsiderate that you didn't care about the consequences. You were about to tell them about our relationship, Hawk. What's wrong with you?" Her words navigated in my head like a lost boat. "Are you out of your mind?"
"I don't know, Hazel." My brows arched, impatiently. "Am I?"
"Don't play the victim here, please." She made some steps towards me, urgently. "Why can't you admit your mistake? Why Hawk? Why?"
"Here we go again." I squeezed my teeth against each other. "Arguments after arguments. Are you proud of yourself right now? Can I have my peace?"
"Peace? You're talking about peace?" She chuckled with her petty tone. "Why did you lie to me in the first place? Why didn't you tell me that your ex-girlfriend, Jessica was still alive? She's downstairs right now, stealing everyone's attention. I can't even trust you anymore. Where were you last night?"
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"I was with you obviously." I tried to remind her of our beautiful night to bury the argument.
"You left me by myself in your bedroom. Why? Did you make love to her too?" Her questions aggravated me.
"Really?" I shook my head, negatively. "Are you really that insecure? You really think I would cheat on you. Did I give you reasons to think like that?"
"Yes, Indeed." She sacrificed my words with her negative thoughts. "You lied to me last night. You told me you were not going to fight anyone but instead, you betrayed my trust and made love to Jessica."
"She's the past, Hazel," I admitted. "I don't have feelings for her. I only want you. You're the girl that I want and it kills me that you're not even trying to understand me and work things out." I paused. "You're my girl. Do you hear me? Mine. I'll never cheat on you. Mark my words."
"In that case," She rolled her eyes. "I want you to tell me the truth. Why was she in this bedroom a few minutes ago?"
"She was just..." I sighed, trying to create a lie to prevent drama. "She was just saying hi to me."
"You're a liar." Hazel slapped me. "I overheard everything. How can I trust you, Hawk, if you're not telling me the truth? What are you hiding? Why are you protecting her?"
"I'm not protecting her," I responded, frankly. " I'm protecting you from her," I told her the truth.
"Protect me from what?" Her perfect eyebrows disagreed. "What are you hiding Hawk? What's your secret? You're not honest with me at all. I want to know why." Her tone was firm and selfish. She was digging herself into a dangerous hole. "You need to start talking now. I can't be with someone who doesn't share his private life with me, who's hiding things from his own girlfriend."
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"I'm not hiding anything, Waffle." I tried to calm her down. "You're overthinking things and it's okay. I just want us to stop arguing."
"No, Hawk." She nodded her head. "I can't be with you anymore."
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My heart stopped.
Did I hear that right? After our night together, Hazel? Are you out of your mind? I really didn't know what to say to her. My heart froze with pain. I was speechless. I didn't know if she was serious or joking. I really didn't want her to break up with me. I actually started to like her more every second of every day but it was hard for me to secure her love when she made it so hard for me to capture.
"Let me correct my sentence." She rephrased. "Tell me everything and we'll talk about it." She caressed my face, gently. "You promised that you wouldn't break my heart but you are doing it right now." Tears greeted her eyes, slowly. "Hawk, please tell me your dark secret. I'm begging you, Please."
"I'm sorry but I don't know what you're talking about." I pushed her hand away from my face as she begged for my attention.
"I heard you, babe." Her broken voice exclaimed. "Why are you lying to me? What are you hiding?" She kept asking me the same question over and over again.
"I need time. I'll tell you when the time is right." I proposed. "I promise." I caressed and wiped her tears away. "I'm just scared of losing you. You'll look at me differently and my heart won't ever forgive me for erasing you."
"Are you a criminal?" Her question amused me. "Are you, Hawk?"
"No, I'm not a criminal, Hazel," I admitted the truth. "It's something from my past and it's affecting my future. I just want you to hold on to me and give me the chance to collect the pieces all together. I just need time." I kissed her on the forehead. "Please. Please, try to understand."
"I'll just ask Jessica then." She denied my simple offer. "Don't bother. I'm sure she knows the truth."
"She only knows part of the story." I grabbed her by the arm. "Jessica is dangerous. She can't stay here. "
"Says the person with the secrets." She tried to prove her point. "I'm done playing your games, Hawk. You and I?" She gestured. "Over."
"We're not over." I grabbed her by the arm as I raped her lips with a sudden fire. "You're mine, Hazel. You're mine." I whispered between her wet kisses as I enveloped her with my strong hands. "You're not going anywhere."
Heaven knew my weakness.
Hazel became my weakness.
Hazel deserved the truth but I was just not ready to tell her about my dirty past. I didn't want her to give up on me. I wanted her by my side. I wanted her love to make me a better person. I wasn't ready and the pain was killing me inside. I felt useless and immature but I knew it was for the best. I didn't want to hurt her.
My dark secret can change everything.
I'm not sure I'm ready for the consequences.
****
"I'm not keeping this child, Justin." Ana, Hawk's mother, yelled at the hospital. "It's a boy." She held Hawk in her hands, her little newborn baby. "What would happen when he finds out the truth? He'll never forgive me. He'll hate me, he'll hate you." Tears flashed Ana's eyes as she begged Justin for mercy.
"I'll tell him half of the story." Justin kissed Ana, his wife, on the forehead. "I'll tell him that you never wanted him but you have to stay away from him Ana. You and I both know it's for the best."
"Justin?" Ana cried. "Our little boy is so adorable. Look at him." Ana caressed Hawk's soft black hair. "He doesn't deserve that. It's my fault."
"You have to calm down, Ana." He hugged her as they examined the baby's cuteness, silently. "You're so right, my darling, our son is so adorable." Tears flew down his face as he tried his best to stay strong. "What's his name?"
"Hawk," Ana replied. "Hawk Wale."
"Hawk Wale is a blessing." Justin sighed. "I'll protect him and nobody will know his secret. I promise, Ana."
"What would happen if the secret is revealed? The whole world will chase for his blood."
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