《Changing The Course of Fate》Chapter 30 - Guilty Conscience
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"N-No?" Asher said. His hands were clenched into fists. The unpleasant feeling became more and more unbearable as the thought of Pier not being by his side anymore continued to roam his mind.
"It did not mean an entire no, your highness. However, as of the moment, I cannot afford to do so" Pier explained as he fixed the wrinkled parts of his clothes.
"A household and a noble could still support you even though you're not acquainted with them as friends, your highness. I want to let time pass by before I can form a new relationship with his highness as friends" Pier said and stood up. Raphael stood up as well in the process.
Raphael did not know what to do. He wanted to console the prince but he also wanted to talk with Pier.
"Your highness, we have wounded each other in many ways. The relationship we used to have was ruined and was instead thrown in the gutter. It was my fault for I have expected something out of my love and affection for many years and now I am letting his highness go. Please allow me to do the same and let us live our lives the way where it is supposed to go" Pier said before bowing respectfully and bidding Asher goodbye.
The sound of his steps became fainter as the distance increased.
Asher felt his heart ache at it. The sound of Pier's footsteps was like the sound of his chances becoming acquainted with Pier again.
He was disappointed in many things.
He was disappointed with himself. Where did it all go wrong? Why did this happen?
He was also disappointed with his actions. He expected that he could simply become friends with Pier now that they have finally settled the issue of his love for him but he did not know the damage was that big
'I hurt him too much' Asher dwelled on the thought. He realized he had caused Pier a bigger wound than what he thought the damage would be.
"Your Highness" Raphael said and came near Asher to share his sentiments.
"Raph, I messed up," Asher said as he lowered his head and his clenched fists became even tighter.
"Leave us alone for the moment," Raphael ordered the servants and they bowed before dispersing from their stationed area.
"Your Highness, as the young master said, it would take time" Raphael consoled the frustrated Crown Prince. It had been years since he saw Asher like this.
"I only wanted to be friends with Pier again..." he said weakly. The strength and confidence he displayed in front of Pier were slowly going away as the person was not with them in the garden's pavilion anymore.
"Raph, tell me, did I hurt Pier too much?" Raphael stopped in the middle of talking with Asher at the question.
Did Asher hurt Pier too much?
Pier had been chasing after the Crown Prince for a very long time. Ever since they were out of childhood and started to become teenagers, Pier had always been there for Asher.
Pier was like a lost puppy that continued to follow its master wherever Asher goes. He continued to do so until Asher was renounced as the Crown Prince at the age of fourteen.
He attended the gatherings Asher went into, learned how to play instruments even though he truly lacked the talent for it, and became the perfect noble that is fitting for the Crown Prince.
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But he never got the affection he wanted to receive from his beloved. It was the story of a hopeless romantic that did not cease to show his love for the Crown Prince.
"Everything will be fine, your highness" Raphael decided not to answer Asher's question. He knew how big the wound must have been on Pier's heart and he even started to build his own reputation again while carrying the broken pieces of his affection.
Asher laughed at Raphael's response.
"I guess I did." Should he have accepted the gifts Pier would prepare for him? Should he have noticed the young master every time they meet in the palace?
He simply wanted to reconcile but it looked like a star that is too far away in his reach now.
"Time will heal the young master's wounds, your highness." Asher nodded his head in understanding.
---
"What did I mean by 'As of the moment'? Am I crazy or something?" Pier asked himself as he walked back towards the entrance of the palace where the carriage would be waiting for him.
"I would like to never be acquainted with that prince again" He sighed as he looked at the surroundings. The floating light orbs were dancing along the trees as they lit up the entire garden.
"How can Pier's wounds even heal if he does not exist here anymore?" He grumbled as he continued to walk. The Pier Belmiunde they knew did not exist now, the only thing left from the original Pier was the lifeless body wherein Eliam had transferred to.
"I only wanted to go on my adventure, why does everything have to be so complicated?!" He said and kicked a rock that was misplaced from the others.
The poor rock rolled a few more times before it landed on the corner of the garden.
Eliam thought that it would be easy to reunite Pier's relationship with the Crown Prince but as the days moved forward and the more he spent time here in this world, he realized how Pier had become the clown that everyone made fun of mostly because of the Crown Prince.
'Imagine having one of the best faces in the kingdom and coming from an extremely prestigious family just to be made fun of by others because you pursued the person that you love? Man, pick a struggle' Eliam was tired with the constant drama he had to face with the nobles and Pier's relationships yet he had no choice but to endure.
"I'll definitely smack you in the back of your head when we meet in the afterlife" Eliam promised to the owner of the body he's residing in and continued to walk in his way.
---
"Your Highness, to whom shall I send this letter?" The messenger asked.
It had been almost a week since Pier's decline with Asher's proposal of reconciliation. Every day seems to have been more and more exhausting to the Crown Prince as he continued to think about the things that have happened over the past years.
"Send it to the Belmiunde Household" He commanded and the messenger started to leave.
"Hold on, no, send it to Pier Belmiunde more specifically," he ordered and the messenger proceeded on its way to deliver the letter to Pier.
"Your Highness, are you sure about that?" Raphael asked as he stood beside Asher's desk. The prince smiled at his friend.
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"Of course, Sir Raphael. It is related to our journey towards the Yuko Boundary anyway" Asher smiled at the noble. Raphael sighed as he disregarded Asher's actions.
"Don't sigh, young duke, I only wanted to be friends with Pier again" He said and looked outside the window of his study.
Raphael knew how hard-headed the Prince was whenever he had something he wanted to do. He will do it regardless of the consequences he would face and the actions he needed to make to pursue something.
"If Pier wanted to heal from the wounds I have caused, then can I take care of it as I'm the one responsible?" He said stubbornly and with dedication.
The events last time were etched in his mind. He remembered how hard it was to carry the feeling of rejection.
When Asher realized how badly he missed the times he spent with Raphael and Pier, he made the final decision to reunite the trio and become one of the most powerful and influential groups.
He'll do everything just for the sake of getting Pier back.
"Your Highness, I want to speak with you not as your close confidant but as your friend," Raphael started.
"Please proceed, Raph," Asher said as the birds outside the window continued to chirp and fly.
"Don't you think you're being selfish, Your Highness? The young master wants to fix things before he can form a relationship with his highness again" Raphael reprimanded Asher. He knew Asher's immature instances and impulsive attitude and that he was trying to stop it before it causes any more trouble for Pier.
Asher pondered over Raphael's statement before sitting on the chair for his table. He inhaled deeply before opening his mouth to speak.
"I know, Raph. I know" He said as he massaged his forehead.
"But it's heavy, Raph, every time I think about the times I..." Asher could not continue his words. He suddenly had a headache as the rush of various emotions circulated within his mind.
"I-I know I've wronged Pier and I-I want to make up for it" He said as he was feeling frustrated again because of the young master.
"I can not simply wait for the young master to heal on his own. I was the cause of it then I should at the very least be there for Pier, right?" He said and his face reddened from the mixed emotions he got.
He was embarrassed about how he was rejected by the young master back in the garden, he was also sad about the lost opportunity for reconciliation. Asher thought that he would be fine if Pier was to reject his proposal but the magnitude of how hurtful the rejection was something he did not expect.
"Your Highness, please let the young master be for now. You have heard his words and you do not want to further add salt to the wounds he had" Raphael tried to console Asher but the Crown Prince was still decided on his actions.
"Raph, just let me. I know the young master just like you do, we have been friends since we were young and I know he'll accept me," Asher said with finality. However, what the Crown Prince of the Taron Kingdom did not know was that Pier Belmiunde no longer existed.
He was expecting that the soft Pier he had known back when they were kids was still there and would allow him to ease his guilt for the things he had done.
"I don't know about that, your highness. The young master had changed -" Raphael tried to speak but Asher interrupted him.
"Stop, Raphael. Even though Pier seemed to have changed lately, one cannot simply change his innate attitude in just a short while. He's still there, I know it, I know he will allow me to compensate for the pain I have brought him" He said and Raphael decided not to argue with the Crown Prince anymore.
It was already pointless to convince Asher now that he had made up his mind to try and force himself into Pier's life again.
'Young master, I wanted to express my deepest desire but it will burden you as you are still trying to fix yourself. Whichever decision you will take, I shall be by your side' Raphael wanted to tell Pier. He wanted to tell the thing he had started to feel.
But no, he doesn't want to add to Pier's burden right now.
His concluded ideas and realizations back in the garden were one of the eye-openers in the situation.
He may have started liking the young master, not as friends, but as something greater.
But Pier is still undergoing his issue with the Crown Prince.
He knew that he was already lucky enough to become close friends with the young master even after the things that they also both went through before.
He knew how fortunate he was to have been reconciled with the young master. If he were to end up in the same situation as the Crown Prince, he did not know what to expect.
Would he be devastated like Asher? or would he simply not care and continue to act as if the young master was a stranger?
The latter would be a better answer if Pier did not become friends with him from the start but right now, Raphael thought that he would be at the same situation with the Crown Prince if his relationship with the young master would end as well.
Asher massaged his head a few more times. The pain from the headache slowly subsiding as minutes passed by.
Why is he being like this? He did not know.
Why can't he simply do the things he did back when Pier was still after him? Why can't he just ignore him and move on?
'I'm guilty... I know, I'm guilty with the things I did' His memories along with the two was something he had treasured all this time, and the realization of how he had hurt the soft and fragile young ate his consciousness.
Pier's rejection of his proposal was the catalyst of the continuous unpleasant emotions he started to feel.
Pier's broken image in his mind started to Pierce his emotions. It was as if those pieces became the trigger of a new perspective that he had started to see.
'At least let me help you...'
Both the future Duke and the Crown Prince were submerged in their own sea of thoughts about the young master.
---
Achoo!
Pier snuggled up at the warm blanket as he was resting after getting a cold for practicing too late in the night with his magic for the previous days.
"Ish shamwan noking amout me or ish it becaush of the cold?"
(Is someone talking about me or is it because of the cold?) Pier said incomprehensively as he had a runny nose to accompany the cold.
Achoo!
He sneezed again and covered himself with the blanket.
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