I adjust the sheets in my bed as I roll over to grab my blunt off the dresser. I grab my blunt and I spark it.

It's been 2 months since Remi died and I don't know how to cope with it . I feel like it's all my fault honestly. I wish I would've stopped him from going in that car. I've barely been eating ever since the incident happened. I have been laying in my bed all day. Every time I do anything the thought of him crosses my mind. All I can really do is smoke the pain away. But that shit ain't helping either.

I hear my phone ringing and I reach over to grab it

"Hello?" I say in a tired groggy voice

"Yo Choppa what's good" the person says

"Uhh wassup who the hell is this" I say

"Ay it's King how you been?" He says

My eyes get wide as I realize that I'm talking to King

"Why the fuck are you even calling me aren't you in prison! You should be on yo motherfuckin death bed right now . You should be six feet under! " I say to him

"Bro chill chill , you're angry and you have every right to be. The reason why I'm calling is because I heard about what happened to Remi." He explains to me

"Oh" I say in a quiet tone

"Listen Choppa I know we had our differences and I know how much you loved Remi forreal, even though you didn't say it , I would always notice the way you looked at him. I also loved Remi too with all my heart. We both did. " King says to me

"Ok and? If you loved him you wouldn't have put him through all the shit you did . You don't hurt the person you love . I feel like you're saying all this just because he's not here anymore. Honestly it should've been you who died" I say to him

"Nah Remi don't say things like that , you can't hold resentment towards me. Remi wouldn't like that , listen to me yo . I'm sorry for my actions , I had to take some time to reflect on what I did. And it was fucked up , yes I admit it. You don't have to forgive me it's okay.

But I need you to do this one thing for me" he says

"Oh now you trying to be the good guy? Bruh what the fuck could you possibly want me to do ? If you think imma do you a favor throw that thought out the fucking window because I'm not doing shit for your sorry no good ass" I say to him

"Ight , but I sent a letter to your mailbox a few weeks ago and I just need you to take it to Remi's grave please just do this one thing for me Choppa please..." King says to me

My heart sinks as soon as he mentions Remi's grave.

I haven't been to Remi's grave every since the funeral. I just can't do it . It's just to much to take in I will really go off the deep end forreal.

"Ok goodbye.&" I say to King while hanging up the phone on him

I lay back on my bed processing what King said to me

You know what King might be actually right for once in his life. I can't keep holding resentment towards him Remi really wouldn't want that . I have to forgive him but I most definitely won't forget . Plus is life to short to be holding grudges , you can be here one day and gone tomorrow.

I get up off my bed and I walk into the hallway

I slowly walk past Remi's room and a tear sheds down my cheek.

All these fucking memories man, the fights , the laughter , the arguments , and the love. It's all memories now.

If I would've known this would happen I would have cherished every single moment I shared with him.

I quickly turn away from his door and I exit the house.

As soon as I get out the front door I feel the heat from the sun beaming down on my skin.

I haven't been outside in weeks.

I walk to the end of the driveway to the side of the road where the mailbox is located and I see a pile of letters inside the mailbox.

I take all the letters out the mailbox and I search for the one King sent.

I finally find it and I place the letter inside of my pocket.

I walk over to my red mustang and hop inside it cranking it up and I start to drive to the grave yard.

As I'm driving I hear my phone ringing. I see that it's Tinashe calling me . I pull out my phone and I answer.

"Hello" I say while answering

"Choppa where you at I need somebody to talk to forreal I need to get out this house..." Tinashe says to me

"Well you called at the right time because I just left the house" I say to her

"Well can you come pick me and Flo up please" She says

"Ight you know I gotchu I'll be right over there" I say

"Thank you so much " she says while hanging up

I arrive to Tinashe's crib and I pull up and wait in the driveway.

I beep my horn to let her know I'm here .

I see Tinashe and Flo walking out the house.

They enter my car and I take a look at them

I notice that Flo is wearing a ripped oversized sweatshirt and I notice that she's not wearing a colorful wig like she usually does. She doesn't even look the same. I know she's taking Remi's death the hardest. I mean that was his bestfriend for years they was so close.

"I'm sorry we took so long I had to literally drag Flo out the house." Tinashe says while buckling up her seatbelt

"It's okay, uh Flo how are you doing?" I say to Flo

"Eh I feel like I don't belong here" Flo says while shrugging her shoulders

"What do you mean" I say to her

"I don't belong here. Since Remi's not here it feels like I have no purpose to be on this Earth. I miss him. I never thought this would happen. I mean I know we would die someday but I planned on getting old with Remi he was my rock I leaned on." Flo explains

"I understand where you coming from Flo. That was your bestfriend, your ride or die. And now that he's gone I know it's devastating. But Flo you have to remember you do have a purpose on this earth. And you also have to remember even though Remi is not here physically he is here spiritually. He is watching down on you forsure I know he's gonna guide you. And I know he is gonna guide you in the right direction." I say to her

"True I never thought about it that way." Flo responds

I put my foot on the gas as I start to drive out their neighborhood

We arrive to the Graveyard and I park my car .

I get out my car and I walk over to the graveyard with Tinashe and Flo.

As I'm walking I start to tear up as I see Remi tombstone in the distance of my eye.

When we finally reach his grave. I start sobbing uncontrollably. All I can think about is Remi's smile. And his Blonde little curls.

As I'm crying Flo puts a hand on my shoulder and I start to hug her and cry into her arms.

"It's okay Choppa let it out" she says to me

I look at Tinashe putting a yellow flowers on his grave.

"Here you go" she says to us while handing us a flower

"Thank you." I say to her

I bend down and I look at the date on Remi's grave.

July 16 2002 - August 30 2021

"Remi , I miss you so much. Times really been hard lately, I can't stop thinking about you. You're always on my mind. I know you're in a better place now watching over us. To be honest I don't know what I'm doing without you. You was the first person I met here. Honestly you was my real first friend that I could be myself around. I love you so much with all of my heart." I say to his grave

I place the flowers on his grave and I stand up.

"I'm really gonna miss him he was my whole heart" Tinashe says while wiping her tears

"I'm gonna miss him too I really loved him. " I say