It's Monday and I have to face Blake knowing he could be Maria's cause of death. How's that for a bad Monday?

I walk into school and immediately Blake throws his arm around my shoulder.

" So you excited for this weekend? "

He ask me.

" Why should I be? "

" Prom. "

" Oh yeah I forgot about that. "

" You did remember to get a dress right? I really don't want you to embarrass me. "

" Please out of the two of us you will be the embarrassment. "

I tell him and shake his arm off me.

" So I heard you knew that girl Maria? "

I watch him closely as I see his body tense up and his jaw clench along with his fist.

" I knew her four years ago before she fell off the face of the earth. "

He says bitterly.

" We're you two friends? "

" More like friends with benefits. "

My jaw drops.

" But that was four years ago she would have been a sophomore and you would have been a seventh grader? "

" I know. "

He was having sex in seventh grade?

" She was my fist everything you know. "

He tells me snapping me out of my trance.

" What? "

" She was my first secret, first girlfriend, first girl to fuck the list goes on and on. "

" You don't seem happy to talk about her. "

" She left with no goodbye not even a damn note and when she comes back she kills herself instead of actually talking to someone! I'm pissed! "

I've never heard Blake talk about someone like he cared about them.

" You don't know what she could have went through. "

" I don't know what the hell she could of went through to make her kill herself! It's stupid why would anyone do that knowing someone who cares about you is going to have to live their life with that image in their head? "

( no offense to people who have known people who tried or succeeded this is from a characters point of view on it not mine )

" Maybe she felt similar. "

I say.

" What? "

" Maybe something happened that she couldn't get out of her head and it haunted her and she just couldn't take it anymore. "

" I was her friend she could have came to me. "

" Some people can't talk about their emotions. "

" Still I-I just don't get it one minute she was there and the next- "

He doesn't finish his sentence as he burst into tears and I can't help but gasp at this sight along with everyone else who is watching.

I've known Blake since first grade but this is the first time I've seen him cry.