( This chapter is based on a true story of what happened to me )

When I get home from the party I change into my sleeping clothes and crawl into bed but every time I close my eyes I can feel Blake's hands all over me. I can't help but think it's my own fault, if I had pushed him away instead of kissing back he wouldn't have gotten the wrong idea.

I always screw everything up!

Flashback---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

" I think we need to get to school. "

I giggle as Blake trails kisses down my neck and I blush as he kisses me on my chest.

" School is just a way to give the parents a break we learn nothing. "

He grumbles and continues to play with my hormones. We're currently on my couch with him on top of me just to be clear are clothes are ON! He came inside to pick me up for school and now here we are.

" Damn I can feel every inch of your body on mine I'm so turned on right now. "

He says well actually it comes out more of a moan. I blush and gently push him off so we can go to school. I stand up but he pulls me by my waist back down onto the couch and gets back on top of me.

" What are you doing? "

I giggle amused.

" We have been dating for a month now you know? "

" Yeah so? "

" It's been a whole month babe don't you think it's time? "

It takes me a minute to understand what he means.

" I don't know that's a big step Blake. "

" It's just sex. "

He says laughing amused.

" Yeah but I've never done it before you know that. "

" If you love me you wouldn't hesitate. "

He grumbles.

" You know I love you I'm just....not sure about that I want to be 100% sure I'm ready. "

He sits up and looks annoyed at me. I kiss him as an apology but he pushes me away.

" Don't kiss me unless you mean it. "

He snaps at me and walks out the door.

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I don't know if I did the right thing or not. I really did love him and I loved him until that stunt he pulled today. My friends say that he used me but I always wonder if he really loved me or if I was just his toy. I mean I know people love differently then others.