"Do you realize what happened in this situation?" Dr. Harrison asked me.

"Not really," I said, twirling a piece of hair around my finger.

"You put your self-worth into Parker instead of generating it internally," Dr. Harrison explained. "So when Parker let you down, your self-worth collapsed, causing you to seek out other ways of filling that void you felt inside."

I pulled my right knee up to my chin, letting out a sigh.

"And you knew that Daniel could fill that void for you," she continued. "Although you'd regret it later."

"I do regret it," I reiterated.

"I know."

"But I can't change it."

"And how does Parker feel?"

I shrugged.

"Have you guys talked at all?"

"Not really," I said, switching back to sitting criss-cross. "I mean we've argued a bit since, and then we've had our moments here and there, but we haven't actually talked I wouldn't say."

"It's natural to want to blame Parker for what happened," Dr. Harrison said. "And it is partially his fault. But you also retaliated in a negative way."

"I know," I agreed.

I propped my elbow on my thigh and rested my chin in the palm of my hand.

"And I think it's important to talk about what you're feeling with Parker."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"You have not met Parker," I muttered. "The last thing on that boy's list would be talking about his feelings. Trust me, I've tried."

"It's also important that you're not the one putting all the work into the relationship."

"That's how I feel right now."

She nodded.

"I feel like I'm the only one fighting for us," I continued. "And that he's just angry and bitter and he's sending me all these mixed signals."

"How so?"

"Well he wants nothing to do with me one minute, talking about how we can't be good together anymore, and then the next we're back to normal again, and he's calling me by my old nickname."

"I think he's just as confused as you're feeling," Dr. Harrison filled in. "Maybe even more so."

"Well he's confusing the hell out of me," I muttered, letting out a sigh.

What did Parker Adams want from me?

~*~

"Thanks for letting me get ready here," I said to Michelle, as I wrapped a piece of my hair around my curling wand.

"Of course," she agreed, flipping her hand around in the air.

I was wearing an oversized white tank top along with a black bralette underneath, paired with a pair of black and white striped shorts.

"You look gorg by the way," Michelle added.

I finished curling my hair before turning to look at her. "Not as beautiful as you."

Michelle was wearing a white blouse tucked into a blue skirt and a pair of floral netted tights.

I slipped into a pair of black pumps with a criss-cross buckle.

"If we leave now, we'll be perfectly late," Michelle said, checking her phone.

"Then we better get out of here," I said, as she pulled on her own black heels.

We were fashionably late, just as I love it, and all eyes were on us as we walked in.

"Just keep me away from the Everclear," I ordered to Michelle, as I shot a smile at a Senior boy. "I got insanely wasted off that stuff on New Year's."

"I remember," Michelle said, giggling.

"You weren't here."

"No, but Hannah sent me the video of the countdown. Do you know how to count to 10?"

"Shut up."

"Can I offer a drink?" the Senior boy I smiled at asked, coming up to Michelle and me.

I exchanged glances with Michelle, and she raised her eyebrows at me.

"You sure can," I said, with a smile.

"You're walking on some dangerously thin ice here Ms. Winston," Michelle warned.

"Parker said we weren't worth a try," I reminded her, my eyes flickering over to the kitchen where the Senior boy was currently pouring my drink.

"As your best friend, it's my job to remind you that that was bullshit."

And then the Senior boy came back, offering me my drink.

"Thank you," I said, lifting the cup to my lips and taking a swig.

"And a dance?" the boy asked.

"Well you're being a bit presumptuous, don't you think?" I asked. "I don't even know your name."

"Colin," he introduced, with a smile.

"Emily."

"So Emily, would you like to dance?"

My eyes scanned the room for a sign of Parker, hoping he'd come over in all his angry jealousy and claim me as his.

But I didn't even see him here.

"I'd be honored," I said, tipping the drink up and finishing it off.

"Damn girl," he said, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Bottoms up," I said, holding up the empty drink with a smile.

I let him lead me out to the dance floor, and we ended up close to Paula and a group of some of my friends.

They didn't notice me, but I knew they were there in case things turned south with Colin.

"So you go to Berkley Prep?" Colin asked me.

I shook my head. "Westchester."

He made a face, and I couldn't help but laugh.

Berkley and Westchester were pretty well known rivals.

"So I'm surprised your boyfriend is letting you dance with me," Colin said, with a smile.

The ultimate boyfriend line.

I opened my mouth to say I didn't have one, but the words caught in my throat.

"He's a pretty lenient guy," I ended up saying, with a bit of a forced laugh.

Colin laughed as well, clearly thinking that I was joking.

And then I heard an all-too familiar voice behind me.

"The party has arrived!" Emmett's voice announced.

I turned to see Emmett holding up some beer, and cheers came up from the partygoers.

Parker and a couple of other soccer players were behind him, carrying more alcohol.

Emmett greeted the host of the party, the guy's whose house we were at, with a bro hug.

I had no idea who this guy was and apparently he and Emmett were old buddies.

"Emmett Winston," Colin mused.

"You know Emmett?" I asked, turning back around to face him.

"Who doesn't?" Colin asked, with a chuckle. "He's a regular at Jason's parties."

So that's the name of the guy who was throwing the party. Not that it really helped, I still had no idea who Jason was.

"Of course," I agreed, not wanting to seem as though I was out-of-the-loop.

"He's also a major ass."

I stopped, raising my eyebrows. Who does this guy think he is calling my brother an ass?

"What?" Colin asked, with a laugh.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because he's a notorious player."

"That doesn't make him an ass."

"What? You like him or something?"

"Brought you a drink," Emmett's voice said behind me.

Oh what perfect timing.

Colin raised his eyebrows at me.

"Thanks," I said, accepting the drink from him.

"Why are you with this tool?" Emmett asked me, shooting Colin a glare.

"You don't even know him."

"Colin O'Brien," Emmett filled in. "Everybody knows him."

Well apparently I've been living under a rock, because I'm hopelessly lost.

"You got something to say?" Colin asked Emmett.

"I don't get into it with idiots," Emmett informed him. "Because I know they'll bring me down to their level and then beat me with experience."

"Here's a piece of advice Winston," Colin shot back. "Maybe if you could keep it in your pants for 24 hours you could actually keep a girl."

And then Parker's hand clamped down on Emmett's shoulder. "He's not worth it," Parker said to Emmett.

Emmett was quiet for a few moments, regaining his composure.

"Good thing your boyfriend was here to save you," Colin said, with a smirk. "You may not be able to keep a girl, but you'll always have each other."

And then I splashed my drink in his face.

"What the hell?" Colin asked.

"Well I just wasted a perfectly good drink," I informed him, handing him the now empty cup. "And next time you ask a girl to dance, maybe you should get her last name too."

He stared at me, wordlessly.

"Have a wonderful night Colin," I said, offering a wave before walking away from him.

"Why were you with that jackass?" Emmett asked me, slinging his arm around my shoulders as I headed into the kitchen to my find my own drink.

"Because he seemed nice."

I noticed that Parker had disappeared.

"He's not."

"I've noticed."

"Would you like a drink Emily?" Harley asked me, one of Emmett's soccer teammates.

"I would," I agreed, leaning against the counter.

A blonde came up to Emmett and planted a kiss on his lips.

"Well hello there," I said, as she practically smashed herself between the two of us.

"This is Ashley," Emmett introduced. "Want a drink babe?"

She nodded.

"What happened to Reagan?" I asked Emmett, stepping off to the side with him.

"Who?"

"The girl you brought to go boating with us idiot."

"Oh. I don't know."

I rolled my eyes, releasing him to go and find the Ashley bimbo a drink.

My brother really was a player. But he was far from an ass.

"Here you are," Harley said, handing me my drink.

"Thank you," I said, offering him a smile before heading back out into the party.

Parker was waiting outside the kitchen, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

He was wearing a pair of dark-wash jeans and a dark blue shirt with a light blue button down over the top, hanging open, and a pair of white Vans.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," I answered.

We were both silent for a few moments.

"Want something to drink?" I asked him.

"Designated driver," he answered, with a slight shake of his head. "Someone has to get these idiots home tonight."

As he finished saying that, Ricky from the boys' soccer team fell off the table he was dancing on top of.

"Case in point," Parker added.

I took a sip of my own drink.

"So you know Colin?" Parker asked me.

I shook my head. "And now I wish I'd never met him."

Parker chuckled. "He and Emmett have had this stupid rivalry ever since Emmett slept with his sister."

"Ouch."

Parker shrugged.

We were both silent for a few more seconds.

"So are you going to dance?" Parker asked me.

"Probably," I said, tipping up my drink and finishing it off.

Parker raised his eyebrows.

"Now it's a definitely," I said, with a smile.

"Want to dance with me?"

I looked out at the dance floor, and I could spot at least three single guys from where I was standing.

But none of them were Parker Adams.

"Yeah," I said, handing Harley my empty drink cup as he walked by before heading off to the dance floor with Parker.

"We need two more for beer pong!" Emmett informed us, after a couple of songs. "I nominated you two."

"Designated driver," Parker reminded him.

"Shut up about that and let's go."

"And who's going to get us home?"

"We'll call a cab," Emmett dismissed, before dragging us over to the beer pong table.

Parker managed to find Michelle on the way and bring her with us.

"Here," Parker said to Michelle. "You're Emily's partner."

"You really don't want to play?" I asked.

"Someone has to get them home," he reminded me. "And I know for a fact that once we're drunk, we're not calling a cab."

"What are we doing?" Michelle asked, clearly a little past tipsy.

"Beer pong," I reminded her.

"Ooh, I love this game!"

And by the end of the game, I loved it just about as much as she did.

"Did we win?" I asked Michelle.

"No," Emmett declined, shaking his head.

"Boo," I whined, sticking out my bottom lip.

"Oh my God I love this song!" Michelle shrieked.

I listened for a couple of seconds to hear Bo$$ by Fifth Harmony blasting through the speakers.

"Me too!" I agreed, and we stumbled out to the dance floor together.

"Oh my God, do you know what we should do?" Michelle asked, after the song ended.

"What?"

She pointed to the pool, and I couldn't help but smile, knowing exactly what she was referring to.

There were already a few people milling around outside as we made our way out, and I took to taking off my heels first.

"I love skinny dipping," I said to Michelle, giggling as she unhooked her belt.

And that's as far as we got before we were both swooped away, me by Parker.

"Hi there," I said, with a smile.

"What are you doing?"

"Going skinny dipping! Want to come?"

He picked up my shoes. "I think your night is over princess."

"Why do you call me that?"

"Because that's what you are?"

"But I thought you hated me."

"We'll talk in the morning," he promised, as he carried me outside to his big SUV-looking car.

"You slept with that girl," I reminded him, as he opened the passenger seat door for me. "You don't love me."

He let out a sigh, placing me down in the passenger seat. His eyes bore into mine. "Is that really what you think?"

"Of course it is Mr. Parker."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "We'll talk in the morning."

"I don't want to ride home with you."

"Why's that?" he asked.

"Because I'm still in love with you," I whispered. "But you hate me."

He came to a complete standstill, his eyes searching mine.

"Emmett!" I called out, spotting him in the front yard. I slipped past Parker and stumbled over to him.

"Hey there sis," he greeted, throwing his arm around me.

"I want to ride home with you."

"I rode here with him," Emmett said, pointing to Parker.

"Never mind," I declined, going into the party to find Michelle, who I came here with.

She would give me a ride home.

"Will you give me a ride home?" I asked Michelle, once I found her.

"Right now?" she asked, as she finished off her drink.

I nodded.

"Okay," she agreed, fishing her keys out of her bra and following me back outside.

"Which car is mine?" Michelle asked, as we stood out in the front yard.

"Isn't it red?" I asked.

"I thought it was black."

Well shit.

"Just press that button on your keys," I said. "The one that makes the noise."

"Right," she agreed, pressing the red button on her keys.

The blue Honda civic a little down the road began to blare.

"That's right," we chimed in unison, giggling.

"Where are you two going?" Parker asked, coming up to us.

"Home," Michelle informed him.

"And you're driving?"

"I have car keys."

He rolled his eyes. "You're drunk."

"No, you're drunk," I retaliated, and Michelle and I both began to giggle again.

"You're both coming home with me."

"Not gonna happen," Michelle sang. "I drove here silly."

Parker swiped her keys from her hand. "And now you don't have the keys to drive home."

"Hey you meanie," I pouted.

"Come on," he said, putting one arm around each of our shoulders and guiding us towards his car.

Michelle climbed into the backseat and lied down, her eyes slipping shut.

"Traitor!" I called out.

Parker scooped me up, placing me back into the passenger seat.

"I don't want to ride home with you," I pouted.

"What can I do change your mind?" Parker asked me.

"Tell me why you slept with her."

He sighed, rubbing his temples. "And then you'll ride home with me?"

I nodded.

"When I called you by Annalise's name-"

"Nickname," I corrected.

"Okay," he muttered. "When I called you by Annalise's nickname, it's because I'd been thinking about her a lot lately."

"That doesn't make me feel better," I pouted.

"Hear me out."

I waited for him to continue, watching as he seemed to have some type of internal conflict.

"The day you broke up with me," he continued, his voice pained, "was her birthday."

"Well I wouldn't have known that silly."

He rolled his eyes. "I know you wouldn't have known that. But I was feeling broken and vulnerable, and I wanted to talk to you about it, but you broke up with me, so I figured you didn't want to talk with me anymore."

"I didn't break up with you," I reminded him. "I said let's take a break. You said let's screw a slut."

"This is why I said we should talk when you're sober," he muttered. "You're not going to remember any of this, and you'd probably be a bit more sympathetic."

"Probably not."

"So as I was saying," he said, going back to the original topic. "I originally called Veronica over to talk to."

"Right."

"Honest to God truth," he promised. "Veronica's a good listener if you can get past the rest of it."

I rolled my eyes.

"But apparently I sent some mixed signals over the phone because she walked into my bedroom stark naked."

"So naturally you just had to take her to bed."

"No," he declined. "I threw her a blanket and asked her to cover up."

"Well that strategy didn't work well for either one of you."

"Drunk Emily has a lot of hostility," he stated, raising his eyebrows at me.

"I am not drunk."

"Right. So Veronica isn't one to take no for an answer, so one thing led to another and that's how we ended up where we were."

"Having sex," I stated.

"Having sex," he agreed.

The pain that had built up inside my chest during his speech felt like it was going to explode.

"So there you have it," he finished. "There was no emotion behind it, nothing."

"Well why couldn't I be good enough for you?" I exploded.

He raised his eyebrows at me in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"Why did you need her to have sex with you? I could've been anything for you."

He closed his eyes for a moment before looking into mine. "Emily, you're better than that."

"Better than what?"

"You do not need to have sex with me to please me," he stated.

"Apparently I do because you had to call some skank-hoe to do it."

"I messed up," he admitted. "And I can't take that back, okay? And I'm sorry."

Silence rippled between us.

"But you are better than you give yourself credit for," he continued. "You were willing to put up with my shit, my baggage. You're a good person Emily Winston, and you have a kind heart. And you're beautiful, both inside and out. But you don't need me, or Daniel, or any other guy to tell you that, because you should know that waking up every morning. You are worthy."

I didn't even know that I was crying until he finished.