Elle McBriar

September 8th, 6 months and 58 days since the first zombie report

The night was dark and the wind was cold.

Time had come for us to pack up and leave this place we called home.

I was beyond nervous, my insides were tingling and my bones were rushed with adrenaline and fear. My fingers shook as I zipped up the hole in my bag before slipping it into my shoulders.

Paxton had come to wake me up earlier as he went to go find the others. He told me I'd need my beauty rest if we're going to be walking for a while.

We could walk all the way too San Diego if we wanted too... I know the car ride is only 3 hours. We could make it before the sun came up, if we wanted too. But then we'd have to find some sort of transportation because we cannot walk all the way back to New York.

As I looked through the last of the tent, switching off the flashlight and putting it into my bag, I opened the tent flap, silently walking out and going to find the others.

I saw a person and ducked my head, until they shined their torch in my eyes and I realised it was Gage.

"Hey, you ready?" Gage whispered, I nodded, "As ready as I can be." I said.

Alex and Megan came up to us, they smiled and yawned.

I could see my breath in front of me as I inhaled and spoke. Sure, it's only a few days into Fall but it's still cold.

"Do you know if Elaine's coming?" I asked him, hopeful thinking on my part.

He shrugged but his face said otherwise, "She hasn't said anything. But she has everyone else to boss around, you know? She's known these people her whole life."

I nodded, "I know. It just sucks, I guess."

A little while later, everybody was here. Dressed and ready to go. Penny greeted us, talking quietly with Gage as everyone got sorted.

Riley was resting on Alex's back in a baby carrier, his little body out like a light.

Tents are literally so light, you can hear everything, so we have to be careful.

"Where are we planning on going, Elle? We don't have any form of transportation." Alex asked me, "My first plan is San Diego, it's only a couple hours from here and we can make it before sun-up. It'll be very close, but we'll make it. And then... I'm not sure. We got from there."

Alex nodded, "Will this work do you think? You don't think they'll find us?" He asked.

I can't say 'they won't' or 'it'll be okay' because I don't know the answer. I don't know anything. I don't understand why everyone is so dependant on me.

"Elle, we have to go, we're wasting time." Megan said to me.

I turned around once more and faced the camp. One last torch went out and it was completely dark. I sighed and turned around, "Yeah, let's go."

* * *

We were an hour down. Talking amongst ourselves, cracking jokes and telling stories. But I stayed quiet. I chimed in on everyone's conversations. I talked to Megan about baby names, Gage and Penny about recipes, I even talked to Paxton about books I like, but I don't have the strength to talk to anybody.

Riley is still dead asleep - which is good. I hope he sleeps until the morning.

My mind is full of wonder. All I can think about is Sophia, her dead face and the smell of her decomposing body. I can't stop the shakes as they take over my body. I try to hide it by putting my hands in my pockets, it doesn't help much.

I ignore the feeling of guilt and focus on the plan, where to next?

Once we arrive in San Diego, we'll need to find transportation. Whether that be a bus or cars or a campervan. Anything that can take us from one destination to another.

But the thing I'm stuck on is where. Where do we stay? Where do we settle down? One day, eventually, they will find us. Whether it's in a few days, months or years from now - we will never be safe. And that's terrifying.

I kick rocks and scuff my feet as I drag my heavy body along the gravel pathway, not focusing on anything in particular.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Someone said. I look up to see Penny grinning at me. I chuckle lightly, "It's nothing, really. Just thinking about the future." I shrug, "The future is the future. Focus on right now, what's going on, really?"

I smile, I've only known her for a short period of time but it feels like she's been a lifelong friend, like I can tell her everything.

"I just wish Elaine came with us, that's all." I smile sadly, thinking back to Elaine's face when I told her about it, "I was so sure she'd come." I whisper under my breath, "We all were. But she's got a duty to uphold you know, just like you do."

I nodded, "I know. But Elaine helped us out. She took us under her wing and helped us out. We would've been dead if it weren't for her." Penny rubbed my arm, "I get that. It sucks. But for now, we'll focus on the positives."

I snort, "Oh yeah, and what's that?"

"We're only 3 hours away from San Diego." I laughed, "Lovely. 3 more hours of walking and blisters on my feet."

Penny left me alone to think. I'll admit, she cheered me up. But everything is still racing.

My heart, my mind, everything is pulsating.

Maybe my brain is on overdrive.

I felt a hand rest on my lower back and I jumped, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I looked up, Paxton. I smiled, "It's okay, I'm just a little jumpy I guess." Paxton nodded, "Fair enough. I would be too if I went through everything you've been through."

Paxton felt for my hand I let him. He squeezed my fingers 3 times, indicating 'I love you' and then rubbed his thumb over my knuckles, "Penny said you were under a lot of stress." I shook my head, "I'm not, I'm fine. Penny's just paranoid."

"I think you're the one who's paranoid." I tried to argue with him, but I then I realised he's right. I closed my mouth and pouted, "Okay fine. We're both paranoid then." Paxton laughed, "It's okay to be scared, you have been through so much shit- it's insane."

"We've all been through some serious shit Pax, it's not just me. I hate when people target me and tell me it's okay because i-it's not. It's not okay and we don't know if it'll ever be okay." I snapped, raising my voice slightly.

"I'm just sick and tired of running. I want to grow up and live my life and die happy. Is that so much to ask for."

"Do you guys maybe want to save the inspirational speeches for later, we have another problem." Gage called.

"What is it-"

Not what I was expecting.

* * *

hiii

what do you guys think it is??