Elle McBriar

August 7th, 5 months and 28 days since the last zombie attack

I woke up suddenly, remembering how so got on the couch. A cramp and ache in my legs from sleeping with them in a weird position.

It was early. Like, 3am early. Why am I awake at 3am? I don't know.

I've been thinking about Paxton. Why it's so hard for me to get him out of my head? I'm constantly thinking about him. His hair, his lips, his eyes. Oh, his eyes.

Beautiful brown eyes. Deep, mysterious and full of life. He looks at me like I'm important. He listens to me and pays attention. And I think that's another reason why I'm so hung up on him, he gives a shit. About me. He doesn't throw me to the side or tell me my opinions are irrelevant or stupid.

People are mean. And with Paxton, I feel like I can be myself.

But since I'm now awake, I decide to get up. Before this whole zombie thing, I would get up at 5am, before school to go for a run. Everyday.

I used to be toned and I loved myself. Now I'm just numb. I don't know how I feel.

Paxton, Alex, Gage and I have been through so much. Enough trauma to last a lifetime and I don't know how we're still alive.

But we're here.

Sighing, I rub my eyes. Feeling the heaviness of my eyelids droop. I'm still tired but can't force myself to sleep.

I sit up, my bare feet touching the cold linoleum floor. I make my way to the bathroom, switching on the light and staring at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are hollow, my eye bags are pronounced, my hair is thin and I'm overall just... broken.

I hate feeling sorry for myself. I don't deserve to feel sorry for myself. I think I'm finally over the fact that my body has given up.

I exit the bathroom, walking silently down the hall. I stop in front of my room though, hearing no sound come from it. I know they're in there. I can sense them. Riley and Paxton.

And all I want to do is go in there and sleep because Paxton's right. I'm terrified to sleep alone.

But I know we're in a fight and he's mad at me and I don't want to make it worse.

Although, my hand went to the door handle subconsciously. I was about to turn it when the door suddenly opened and I jumped, seeing Paxton in front of me.

He looks like he hasn't sleep a wink. His tired eyes, matted hair and softened features.

"Hey, I was just coming to get you." He whispered, I cocked my head, "Why?" I asked, "Same reason you're standing outside." He shrugged.

I was pulled inside, hearing the door click shut behind me as I emerged into the dark room.

"I couldn't sleep knowing you were sleeping on the couch. I shouldn't have let you." Paxton whispered.

He felt so far away from me. His body was inches from mine yet we were so distant. I could feel his body heat as it radiated off him, and I could see the glow of his eyes in the dark moon. If I extended my hand, it would touch him. And I want to touch him.

"I'm sorry, Elle." He said with a sad smile. I shook my head, "No I'm sorry. You're right, I've been weird. I just- I know how I feel... about you. But I'm afraid." I whispered, feeling my heart beat a million times a minute inside my chest.

I was worried he could hear my heart and feel my body shaking. I've kissed him before, I've seen every inch of him yet I'm scared he can sense my fear.

"Why are you afraid?" Paxton said, this time, his hands reached for me. I felt his fingers wrap around my wrist as he pulled me to him, my feet shuffling forward a few inches as I fall into his chest. I can smell his cologne and the body wash he used. I can see his chest rapidly rising and falling as he breaths heavily.

"I don't know. I'm scared you don't feel the same. Or I- I'll screw this up, I don't know, Paxton! I'm afraid of everything." My lip quivered as did my stomach. It felt like a swarm of butterflies had just erupted in my abdomen.

"You make me nervous." I whispered, not meeting his longing gaze.

I felt his hands on my face. He tilted my head up so I was meeting his eyes. Then he ran his thumb over my lip, making me blush. I smiled, "I make you nervous? Jesus Elle, you make me nervous." Paxton said so lightly I barely heard it.

I froze, "I make you nervous? How?"

He chuckles slightly, "Elle you're so... beautiful. I get to see you everyday, you wake up next to me and all I can think is, my goodness. I'm scared you'll leave or find someone better than me." He rambles, I giggle, "Who am I going to find? We're the only people left on Earth, Pax."

I feel him relax as I laugh, as his fingers trace my cheek and tickle my shoulder, "God Elle. You have no idea what you're doing to me." He says, a small smile on his lips as he shakes his head.

I'm pulled to the bed and laid on my back as Paxton crawls over me, his body weight shifted to one side of him. He reaches his arm over my waist, pulling me close to him so I don't move away. "I'm sorry I was a dick earlier." He apologised again, "Don't say sorry you weren't-" "No I was. Gage and Alex told me I was being a dick and then I realised I was in the wrong, and I'm so so sorry for that! P-please forgive me." He pleads.

I put my index finger on his lips, "I forgive you dummy." I smile.

It was silent for a while until Paxton turned his head. His eyes poured into mine as he looked at my lips, almost like asking for permission. I nodded my head and he smiled, immediately kissing me. I sighed, he felt so good. So, right!

His tongue met mine as his hands went to my thigh, hiking it up so I was on top of him. This was a gentle kiss turned hot and heavy. I was sweating, getting hotter as the night turned into morning. The light ever so slightly crept in as we spent the morning tangled in each other.

The sheet was pooled around my waist as my head leaned on Paxton's chest. He was tickling my arm, head turned away from me. I'm happy.

All we did was kiss and I feel bad I can't give him more, because I know he wants too. And I'm ready... I think. I just don't want to rush into things.

I closed my eyes, reeling in the warmth of the boy beside me.

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hiii!!

i loved writing this chapter omg :))